Hot ElvisWhat’s up? Wuz up!?

My early rising routine is slowly going away. I went from 5:00 to 5:30 to 6:00. This morning, I awoke at 6 but didn’t move until 6:30.

Last night I went to the Bensalem Amphitheater and saw two Elvis Tribute Artists perform. As an encore, they came out together and dueted on Viva Las Vegas. I almost wish they had done more of that… something a little anachronistic, a little odd. Maybe performed a Righteous Brothers’ song together. I really like the idea of two Elvises… young and old, singing together.

At any rate, Labor Day is rapidly approaching and along with Labor Day comes my birthday. I will be turning 38, people. I started this Website when I was 22 and I started blogging when I was 25! Heck, remember when I turned 30?

It feels strange and I want to rebel but I am very aware that the only alternative is death so I might as well buckle up and enjoy the ride.

Besides, things have gotten better for me. The passing of my father actually has ushered in some amazing things… of course I would give it all up to get him back but it doesn’t work like that. I remember my dad telling me when he turned 40 he said to his mother, “Ilya, your baby’s turned 40!” I’m not 40 yet but I keep thinking, “Jimmie, your baby’s turning 38!” Effit. I guess the big lesson of the day is to get your heart checked regularly.

What other news do I have? I am on the Tim Ferris, 4 Hour Body, Slow Carb Diet. I am eating nothing but egg whites, spinach, salsa, chicken, lettuce, black beans, guac, coffee, water, and oodles and oodles of wine! I am down 10 lbs at a weight I haven’t seen since… oh gosh, The Baltic Sea? What year was that? 2000? Maybe earlier… I can’t remember.

The Woes of an Early Riser

Early Riser IssuesSince arriving back from Eastern Europe, I used the jet lag to my advantage and became an early riser. I’ve been waking up around 5am each morning. It’s great! I have even started bragging about it in that holier than thou attitude early risers LOVE to affect… “You got up at 10? Well, I got up at 5 this morning.”

There are issues though.

  • By 9am I am hungry for lunch.
  • By 3pm I am exhausted and want the workday OVER.
  • By 9pm all I want to do is go to sleep.

Can it be that I am not any more productive than I was when I woke up at 7? The only difference is my schedule has shifted.

Still, I do enjoy being up before most people. I like the quiet of the morning. I like knowing I have time to putz and do my own thing. Hopefully I can keep it up.

Is this a sign I am doing something wrong?

The other day I posted a blog entry bordering on love blogging, something I swore I would not do. I mentioned that I went out on a couple dates with a man who had a short stint as an MTV VJ. When I told Audra, she said, “That’s another one to add to your crazy man list!” And she was right and thus my blog post.

But you know what?

I couldn’t remember all the unique, offbeat guys I’ve dated! I knew I was missing one. I racked my brain and finally gave up. Then just yesterday I was going through my cell phone’s picture gallery and I spotted him… of course, how could I forget the Irish Cowboy!?! So I just went back and updated the other blog post to include him.

We only went out a few times, mainly to hear bands play. He was a slim leprechaun of a man who sounded like a leprechaun but he dressed like a cowboy replete with hat, shirt, wranglers, and boots! By the third date I suspected he was bald and when I asked, he finally removed the hat to show me his scalp. I was fine with it. We didn’t work out for a number of other reasons. The main one being that although in the midst of a divorce, he was still technically married. The other reason was that he hated fat people.

As it is, tonight the Red Elvises play at the Bethlehem Muskifest and I am excited to see them again. Last night I saw the movie Ted. LOVED IT! Probably because it’s from the creator of Family Guy and I love Family Guy. Potty humor, filth, vulgarity, cursing, prostitutes, poop and farts are all funny to me. I also love Flash Gordon.

Early next week I board a plane for a 10 day trip through Eastern Europe. To say I am feeling anxiety about leaving my business would be an understatement. I know I am leaving it in capable hands but I still feel nervous. It’ll be okay… it’ll be okay.

Another one to add to the list…

Just wanted to pop in with an interesting update. Over the last year, I have been out with:

  • an ex-shock jock
  • a man with long golden hair and fluffy mutton-chop sideburns
  • an Elvis Tribute Artist
  • an Irish Cowboy

And now I can add ex-MTV VJ.

It’s not Alan Hunter.

Sunday Morn’ Coming Down

It’s Sunday and I am lost for words. It all comes down to something I realized last week. I made my hobby my career and now I don’t have any hobby. It’s an all encompassing existence for me.

The good news is my mojo is working. I wish I knew the power of a miniskirt back when I was in my 20’s.

Yesterday I was kidnapped and forced to watch Magic Mike. What a terrible movie. I think there were two issues at hand.

1. The casting was pretty bad. The brother and sister characters were so dull. I couldn’t manage any sympathy for them at all. The actress who played the sister is the daughter of the president of Warner Bros.

2. It should have been directed by Paul Verhoeven and written by Joe Eszterhas

I guess the other reason why I disliked the movie is the men showcased weren’t my cup of tea. You see, I like my men the way I like my coffee: pale, weak, and bitter.

Things I want to blog about… the men I have been dating, Sirius/XM, business, etc. Things I refuse to blog about: dating, Sirius/XM, business, etc.

Video Connections, Come Away with Me

Watching Marty Stuart’s Tempted video for the umpteenth time, I noticed the ending has a lot in common with another video…

At 00:04:13, Marty wants to talk to the pretty girl but he’s ushered away and all he can do is shrug, smile, and wave.

SAME EXACT THING HAPPENS in this video by the Moody Blues!

Of course, the Moody Blues video is by far the better video because it contains not only a black and white flashback but a dance sequence and a lesson in personal development.

I have a strong feeling rock performers have been dragged away from pretty girls in other videos too. I just can’t think of any, can you?

In other news, I actually got a text message from that ETA I hooked up with WEEKS ago. He sent me a recording of either him or Elvis singing this lovely ditty:

Problems with rising early and other habits

ElvisSo I finally got into rising at 6am. Turns out all I needed to do was visualize and practice getting up. I had gotten into the habit of turning off the alarm and going back to bed that I actually needed to break that habit and form a new one. With that said, I’ve been getting up at 6am and it’s great! The day is so long and I get a lot accomplished. The main issue I am finding is that my trajectory is shorter. Perhaps the trajectory is the same but because I am starting further, it ends shorter. What I mean is when I got going at 9am, I’d start slowing down at 5. Now that I begin at 6, I start winding down at 2. And winding down at 2 is not acceptable. Maybe I just need to step away and take a breather.

Another new habit I recently formed is using my DVR. I got the DVR almost a year ago but rarely used it. I couldn’t wrap my mind around recording programs for later watching which is crazy since I did it throughout the 80’s and 90’s. At any rate, I started recording movies on TCM and it’s great! I have a backlog of movies and so when I want to watch TV there is now always a movie waiting for me. The other day I watched The Sandpiper with Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Burton and a young CHARLES BRONSON! It’s a shame the whole movie didn’t revolve around Charles Bronson as a beatnik artist. But with the ability to fast forward, the movie did pretty much become solely about Charles Bronson.

Speaking of Bronson, has anyone else noticed the proliferation of mustaches? I think they are making a comeback! In fact, just recently, a young man asked me what he could do to be taken more seriously by potential clients. I told him to get a haircut and grow a mustache.

An affair with Robert Herjavec

I dreamt I went on Shark Tank to find funding for my business. I gave a compelling sales spiel and felt my chances were high. Instead of poking holes in my business plan, Robert Herjavec stood up and walked over to me. He put his arms around me and pulled me close to him. Into my ear he whispered, “You want equity, baby?” Next thing I know, he’s sucking on my earlobe. Somehow I wasn’t upset by this display of affection nor did I seem to care that it was being broadcast to millions of homes. The only thing I felt was joy that I had found my soul mate in Robert Herjavec and I knew we would be together forever.

I awoke disappointed that it was just a dream.

Last night, I moved the furniture in my bedroom around… probably for the same reason I got my hair chopped off the other day. Ways to move on.

Today I saw Ernie. You see, on Friday my mom told me my left headlamp was out and I was a Padiddle. That’s never a good thing so I went to the shop to have it replaced by the guy who hooked me up with the Big E. And of course the Big E was there… since that’s where he works. He came over and said hi and apologized for being quiet. I smiled and nodded and repeated, “It’s okay, really, it’s all good.”

And that was that. Slightly uncomfortable but not a big deal. It’s all good.

Lisa said to me this afternoon, “I think this is going to be the best summer ever!” I agreed. We’ll get out and do things and have a great time. Perhaps we will even intersect with Robert Herjavec and my dreams can come true.

    What I would love to do this summer

  • Red Elvises
  • Robert Gordon
  • Social Distortion
  • Nick Cave
  • Nate Myers and the Aces
  • The River’s Rockabilly Trio
  • Elvis Tribute Artists
  • Los Straitjackets
  • Swing Dancing
  • Blobfest & Blob Ball
  • Classic movies at the County
  • Professor Ouch’s Car Shows
  • Blue Comet and Jack’s Twin Bar
  • Other suggestions welcome in the comments below

Weird Stuff Happens

I went to Rosemont yesterday. I was invited to be a guest speaker for one of their graduate classes. Craziness! It felt pretty awesome being on campus as an expert and not a shy student who has no idea what she wants to be when she grows up. Strolling through campus to get to my car, I reached for my phone with the thought, “I gotta call Daddy and tell him how this went.”

As soon as the thought took shape, I realized it wasn’t 1996. I can’t call Daddy.

That night I had a dream he somehow materialized and I was so happy because I had so many things to ask him. I asked him question after question but the only one I now remember was, “Should I hire a matchmaker?” His reply was, “Get out and circulate, meet people… you’ll be fine.”

Sometimes the Internet is a time machine. I’ve been trying to do more with Google+ and as I’ve putzed around it, I found they’ve integrated all the old Picasa Web albums into their photo section. Google+ is less than a year old but my albums date back 6 years. Holy cow have things changed. There were pictures of my dad and pictures of PB. Just thinking of those damn pictures makes me want to cry.

Marty Stuart Tempts Me

How come no one ever told me how cool Marty Stuart is?

I LOVE this song! Especially the very beginning. I hear a little Eddie Cochran and a little Ricky Nelson.