Yuppers

Lisa and I drove to Baltimore on Friday night and on Saturday we met up with Todd and his wife. I drank so much Natty Boh! It was nice seeing Todd again. We ended up driving home at 2am. I still feel like I am trying to catch up since that sleepless night spent on the road.

I am trying to decide what to do. I seem to be obsessed with death and it’s finality. I wish I believed in life after death. I am still reeling a bit from losing Ernie. What kicks me is how he has just totally disappeared from my life. Guess that’s for the best. Platonic friendship seems a bit of a joke. Perhaps I am just ready to find someone new? What can be my strategy? Online dating isn’t something I want to do again. Here’s an idea: I will find a way to refer to my singleton status at my speaking engagements. If someone in the audience is interested, maybe knowing I am free will give him the balls to make a move? Let’s do it!

I did meet a man while I was in Baltimore. He was standing on a street corner in Fell’s Point. I thought he was just the cutest thing… but he kept his left hand in his pocket. I realized what that meant and moved on.

The weather has suddenly changed and it’s hot. My air conditioning will go on soon.

Yesterday I took Bo outside and hosed him down. He was so stinky! It was so funny watching his fur deflate as it got wet. He went from a marshmallow to a lima bean.

What will happen tomorrow?

I couldn’t seem to wake up like I did yesterday. The alarm went off at 6am and I couldn’t get myself up! Instead I waited until the last possible second and then threw myself out of bed. I was ready in under 5 minutes.

This morning was my weekly networking gig and I actually was looking forward to it so I could speak to the E-Man’s friend and maybe get an idea of what really occurred to end our engagement.

No dice.

He stayed clear of me and when I walked up to him, he walked away. It doesn’t matter. I am actually okay with it. The more I think of it the more I realize that it was truly a learning experience. Looking back over my love life, I have only had relationships with jerks. The E-Man helped me realize what it’s like to be treated nicely… even if it did end rather badly.

Another awesome thing occurred… I got booked for another episode of a Sirius/XM radio show! No word on the Arabic talk show… that might be an elaborate joke, I really don’t know.

I am still in an Elvis fog. Today my mom came over for lunch and I accounted every little detail of the date… right down to him pulling the recline lever on my driver’s seat. If it was anyone but an Elvis Tribute Artist, I would have held back… in this situation, I couldn’t.

At the beginning of the date, when I got out of the car to greet him, he grabbed me and kissed me. I pushed him away and said, “How dare you think those cheap tactics would work with me!”

“Them’s ain’t tactics, honey. It’s just the beast in me,” he replied.

At that moment I knew I was in for the ride of my life.

It’s just impossible…

I woke up this morning at 5:00am. My intention wasn’t to arise so early. Rather than stay in bed, staring at the ceiling, I got up and got work done. In fact, I got a lot of work accomplished. At 10am, I was surprised it was just 10am! It felt like 1:00pm!

I think I need to do this more often… maybe I won’t have to work until 9pm to get all my stuff accomplished!

In other news, I really think I need to find myself an Elvis Tribute Artist. Sunday was just so perfect and I realized… this is what I want… a man with fuzzy sideburns, pillowy lips, who serenades me with Elvis songs. Of course the problem is that an ETA who does it full time is constantly moving from town to town and he must spread his Elvis love to many women. And part time Elvises just aren’t committed… they typically wear wigs and press on sideburns.

Perhaps this is a dream that I need to release.

Matchless

Dear Donna:

We regret to inform you that you have been removed from the Match.com Affiliate Program. Removal may occur for a variety of reasons, including violation of copyright/search policies, failure to comply with legal terms, inactivity of your account, or changes in content site. If you feel that you have been removed in error, or would like further clarification on why you were removed, please contact Stephen.Siphron@match.com.

Best,
LinkShare Corporation
http://www.linkshare.com

I totally even forgot I was a Match.com affiliate so this doesn’t bother me but I do wonder why they chose to rescind it? Hopefully it’s because of inactivity… but I don’t care enough to pursue it.

Most amazing night ever

What I love about my life is, the craziest things just happen to me.

On Friday, I sadly realized my latest love and I were through. On Sunday, I found myself in the arms of an Elvis Tribute artist… second runner up at the Philly Official ETA primaries!

Today, I was asked to appear on an Arabic talk show.

Oh, and the luck! I was soooo about to wear my Elvis T-shirt on Sunday but I thought to myself, “No, Donna, it’s better to wear your t-shirt with the heart lined in pink fringe. It looks better frugging” And it’s a good thing because that night when I showed up at TGIFriday’s with Elvis, it would have just looked really odd also wearing an Elvis t-shirt.

Here’s what we looked like earlier, frugging on the dance floor:

Unfortunately, in the real version, a girl walked behind me holding a diet coke which somehow perfectly caught my hand, sending it upward into the air. I felt bad until the Tom Jones stylist grabbed me around the waist and said, “Not your fault, darlin’… everyone knows you don’t walk behind a dancing girl!”

Yes, it’s true that almost a year ago, I showed up to a bar with a Buddy Holly impersonator.

I can’t help but wonder… what next?

Dream with meaning, down the drain

Last night I had a dream I found myself pregnant. Wondering who the father might be never occurred to me. All I knew was that my stomach was swollen and a baby would soon emerge. Time passed without a baby and I began to worry something was wrong. I went to the bathroom to do #2 and found the baby had plopped out at the moment I flushed! Quickly I reached into the toilet, trying to save her. She went down the hole, my hand went after her. I reached her and pushed her against wall of the pipe and I felt the water and crap flush by. Pulling her out, she looked dead and retarded. I cradled her in my arms and she began to come alive, spitting out poopie toilet water. Even though she was alive, she felt plastic… like the old baby dolls I played with as a toddler. My mom appeared and I told her that my baby was damaged. Mom wasn’t overly concerned. She said that a lot of babies are lost to toilets.

So hmmmmmmmm, I dream about my baby getting flushed down the toilet. I wonder what in the world it could mean 😉

Living breathing believing

What to say, what to say? I’ve been so quiet here. More quiet than ever before.

I write so much with work that I can’t seem to motivate myself to blog for fun. And what is there to blog about? Either it’s boring or it has something to do with work and I don’t want to cross pollinate.

Over the weekend I watched the movie Taxi Driver. It was totally different than what I thought. It was also really good. I could have done without the violence at the end but all in all it wasn’t that bad. I do think the end was a dream though.

I am quite sad over the death of Davy Jones. It has me listening to my Monkee records again. I haven’t watched any old episodes… not yet at least. I will admit that when the first email arrived to alert me of Davy, I read the subject, “Monkee Dead,” and I immediately assumed it was Peter Tork. Peter’s been ill so it made sense. I am still angry over the Peter Dork incident.

Bob’s Burgers has returned and I am delighted. Is it just me or are these newer episodes illustrated differently? The show doesn’t look as raw anymore.

Oh, on Saturday, E-Man took me to a comedy club. We saw Chris Rich perform… along with a bunch of other people. We made friends with the couple seated next to us. The man looked EXACTLY like Peter Lorre. On Sunday, E and I took Bo to the park for a walk and then we had Sunday Dinner with mom and L. It was a great weekend.

See, this is why I rarely write anymore.

How times change

Yesterday we gathered together, friends and family, to do pysanky. Last year pysanky was interrupted. Cousin David and his family were on their way over when my dad died. It’s just one month shy of a full year. I don’t know how that’s possible. I still can feel the heaviness in the air in those days after my dad’s death. There was an otherworldly quality that lingered. I remember sitting out on the deck with Lisa and mom, feeling the air crinkling around me. Friends would visit and sit with us and we just sat there, in a state of shock and numbness.

Fast forward to now and my dad is gone but the family comes and we sit around the kitchen table with our styluses, wax, dyes and eggs. We talk about how it’s not the end result but the process of creating the egg. Cracked eggs teach us the ephemeral, temporal quality of life. And I think, yeah, Daddy’s not here anymore.

Pysanky

And in the midst of it is so much joy. Seeing the kids. Watching them get bigger. Introducing the E-Man to my family. Experiencing normalcy. At the end of the night, I hugged E and said, “Thank you for being so kind and sweet and friendly and talkative and normal!”

“How else would I be?” he replied.

If he only knew what I endured with PB.

But it’s over and I need to stop comparing him… it’s hard when everyone says, “It’s so nice to see you with someone so kind and sweet!”

Dad would be happy. If here were here.

I can’t imagine what it’s going to be like as spring appears… spring was always my dad’s favorite time of year. He loved the blooming trees and flowers.

11 months of unadulterated change.

VDay

I have spent most of my life single and Valentine’s Day was always a day that I experienced as a voyeur. I would watch from the shadows as girls got flowers and chocolates. I always imagined that one day I might be the recipient of such fantastic bounty. And yet somehow, it never really happened.

Even in a relationship, Valentine’s Day was something I was denied. Gosh, I still remember that Valentine’s Day 2 years ago (or was it 3?) that I cooked a big meal and gave PB a cute gift, only to be told that he bought me NOTHING. NOTHING! The funny part is I really didn’t want much. I would have been happy with one carnation or a single peppermint patty. Even with such extremely low expectations, I was left disappointed. Over and over again. Yes, I have all my limbs and control over my bodily functions… how dare I be upset over something so silly and insignificant as Valentine’s Day? Well I was. Why couldn’t I be the girl that was desired and treasured and loved and adored?

At any rate, everything changed yesterday. The E-Man, without any prodding, pushing, or begging, gave me the most lovely Valentine’s Day EVER! Flowers? Yes! Box of Chocolates? Yes, 2! And my favorite kind! Dinner? YES! In front of the fire! With duraflame logs that shot out colored flames!

It was wonderful. It was more than I ever wanted or dreamed. I felt like the luckiest girl in the whole wide world.