Donna’s Downward Spiral into Heroine Addiction
I am addicted to strong female characters… well, to be a bit clearer: strong, tall, & brunette! Hmmmmmm, is it a coincidence that I too am tall, strong, & dark haired?
I remember identifying with 5 foot 10 1/2 inch Tuggle (portrayed by Paula Prentiss) in the 1960 film, Where the Boys Are. I used to watch it on channel 48 Philadelphia when I was a kid. Sure, her famous line was: “I’m gonna be a walkin’ talkin’ baby factory!” but she was tall and had a hard time getting men. Ultimately she landed Jim Hutton, and he was really cool… maybe one day I can land a man as cool as him! (He was so great as a beatnik in the film: The Subterraneans and I loved him as Ellery Queen!)
Later, in Highschool, I stumbled upon the Avengers and was absolutely smitten with Mrs. Peel. Emma kicked ass and she wore the most stylish clothes! She would flip her hair and then flip a 200 lb man over her shoulder. I cut my hair in homage to her! Even now she is still an influence. When I’m in a difficult situation, I just ask myself, “What would Mrs. Peel do?” It is her grace and confidence and class I try to emulate…besides, in most situations a Kung Fu Karate chop will simply not do! Oh, and in regard to that horrible movie adaptation, let me just tell you that Uma Thurman wasn’t worthy to even eat Diana Rigg’s shit, in my opinion!
|Xena the Warrior Princess
In 1995, I sat in my dorm room riveted to the television screen. That was the year I found Xena, and let me tell you I will never be the same again! The first episode I saw will live in my mind forever. I remember seeing this crazy chick wearing a leather miniskirt and I just scoffed: “You got to be kidding! That poor girl is is going to fall off her horse.” She did not fall off the horse, Xena jumped off the horse! Then she lunged at an army who shot fire arrows at her. “OK, well then she has some super power that protects her” Suddenly, she was struck by an arrow! “Now a man is going to come and save her” Oh, I was so naive! You see, Xena crawled to safety, made a fire and CAUTERIZED HER OWN WOUNDS!!!! It was at that moment I knew I had found my HEROINE, my SHE-RO!
Then there is Julie Newmar. She is certainly not a Xena type, but she was so tall and graceful portraying the Cat Woman on Batman. I loved it when Batman said: “The Cat Woman produces strange stirrings in my Utility Belt!” Robin was rightly jealous.
|Diana Prince aka Wonder Woman
I shall forever be twirling the lasso of truth in the backyard of my mind! I wish I still fit in my Wonder Woman Underoos- perhaps I would feel less vulnerable with a Golden Lasso of Truth hanging from my hip?
Finally I get to Julia Child. She was 6 feet 3 inches tall and mighty in the kitchen. There is nothing that I can say better than what her husband said in this beautiful sonnet he composed for her in 1961:
Whose unsurpassed quenelles and hot souffles,
Whose English, Norse, and German, and whose French,
Are all beyond my piteous powers to praise-
Whose sweetly rounded bottom and whose legs
Whose gracious face, whose nature temperate,
Are only equalled by her scrambled eggs:
Accept from me, your ever-loving mate,
This acclamation shaped in fourteen lines
Whose inner truth belies its outer sight;
For never were there foods, nor were there wines
Whose flavor equals yours for sheer delight.
O luscious dish! O gustatory pleasure!
You satisfy my taste buds beyond measure.
(Birthday 1961 by Paul Child)