Category Archives: Mr Right

It’s been a long time…

yayAnyone still there? I’m still here… alive and well.

And have I got things to tell you!

I’m getting married. And I am pregnant. It’s a boy that we are naming James after my father. And I am going to be a step mom to two beautiful girls (11 & 16). I’m going to sell the Donnavilla and together we are buying a house to fit all 5 of us.

And if anyone told me that any of this would happen to me just 7 months ago, I’d have laughed in your face.

Yet it makes sense. It was back in December that I decided I was tired of being angry at Rob. It took me awhile but I finally realized that what occurred in that relationship was my fault… which was absolutely freeing. Rather than seeing myself as a victim, I took ownership of it and my anger just vanished. Once that happened, I was finally free to move on.

I looked around my house and realized there was no room for a partner. My closets were stuffed with clothes. In front of my tv sat my poang, with just room for me. My bed had just one bedside table. My bedroom walls contained pictures of single women. And so I cleaned out closets, got rid of clothes and items that held me to the past. I replaced my poang with a love seat, capable of seating two. I bought a new bedside table and I removed the pictures of single women and replaced them with a picture of a loving couple.

Just a few days later Eddie came into my life. It was crazy how fast it happened. Almost immediately I realized he was different. He was normal. And nice. And kind. And caring. And supportive. And loving. And interested in commitment. It seems strange to say it but he was the first nice man I think I have ever met.

He bought me a ring a few weeks ago. I didn’t have to beg. I didn’t have to plead or bully or give an ultimatum. And he actually spent more than $800.00 on it.

Suddenly life is good. Life is very good. I am happy. I feel loved. I have what I wanted and my life is turning out exactly as I hoped. It just took a long time. But I don’t mind. I just feel so grateful.

So there you have it.

Gosh it’s a mess around here

"I can't wait to introduce you to my wife and kids, baby!"It’s terrible. I’ve been so silent, you might have thought I abandoned all of you. I actually have been pretty busy moving all donnaville (and all my many other sites) from Dreamhost to a much better hosting provider. Yes, Sayonara Surfer Dudes!

Okay, I didn’t actually move anything. I had a professional do it for me.

The site is still in a bad way. Tons of dead links and broken images. Thank goodness this site is just a money pit otherwise I’d be royally screwed.

I was just talking to a long time donnaville reader (yes, there are about 5) and I said something that took me by surprise. I hadn’t vocalized it until that very second… heck, I don’t think I ever even realized it until that moment.

“It’s not easy keeping donnaville updated. My mind is on my business and work. Heck, it was cute when it was about a 20-something girl, blogging about finding love and the stumbling blocks along that path… now that I am nearing 40 AND I AM STILL ON EHARMONY, it’s just getting pathetic and sad.”

True conversation from just the other day
“Hi, Donna? It’s Tom… from eHarmony”
“Oh hi, Tom. Thanks for calling. How are you?”
“I am good, real good. Excited to talk to you.”
“Look, I just want to get something out of the way first.”
“My girls are off limits. I don’t want you asking about them and I don’t want to get into introducing them to you… not until we are much further along.”
“Oh…. okay.”
“I just wanted to clear the air now, it’s tough. The divorce will be final in 3-4 months”
“You are still married?”
“No, I am almost divorced.”
“Do your girls live with you or their mother?”
“We all live together. I’ll be getting my own place in about 6 months or so.”
“Why are you on eHarmony?”
“Why not?”
“Because you are married and living with your wife and kids.”
“Yeah, but it’s not a real marriage, we are just friends.”
“Look, I gotta go. There’s two many lines here that I just can’t cross.”
“Fine. Suit yourself”

Yeah, I swore off online dating. It was just that it was late and I was drunk and eHarmony had this insane deal… 3 months for $30.

At that moment I couldn’t say no. So I clicked and signed up. And now I am wondering what the heck was I thinking?

It’s fine. I’ll chalk it up to a moment of weakness. I don’t have to log in. I can deactivate my account. I have drunk $30 of micro beer in one sitting and pissed it out an hour later.

Let’s talk about a better investment of my money. As the new year draws closer, I have been looking back and reviewing my resolutions. I’m actually doing pretty good except for one. It’s the one that I make every year and fail at miserably: Keep house clean, clean up after yourself.

I realized that this is something that I simply cannot do on my own… so I hired a cleaning person. She came just the other day and scrubbed my house from top to bottom and it looks marvelous! When I was younger, I used to think people who had cleaners were lazy, rich, snobs with no connection to reality. Now that I am older, I realize how very wrong I was. In fact, I now love this exchange. I love that I get a clean house but I love even more that another person is getting money from an honest day’s labor and she’s not lining anyone else’s pocket but her own. It’s awesome.

I keep thinking of Dolly Levi, “Money, pardon the expression, is like manure. It’s not worth a thing unless it’s spread around, encouraging young things to grow.”

Is this a sign I am doing something wrong?

The other day I posted a blog entry bordering on love blogging, something I swore I would not do. I mentioned that I went out on a couple dates with a man who had a short stint as an MTV VJ. When I told Audra, she said, “That’s another one to add to your crazy man list!” And she was right and thus my blog post.

But you know what?

I couldn’t remember all the unique, offbeat guys I’ve dated! I knew I was missing one. I racked my brain and finally gave up. Then just yesterday I was going through my cell phone’s picture gallery and I spotted him… of course, how could I forget the Irish Cowboy!?! So I just went back and updated the other blog post to include him.

We only went out a few times, mainly to hear bands play. He was a slim leprechaun of a man who sounded like a leprechaun but he dressed like a cowboy replete with hat, shirt, wranglers, and boots! By the third date I suspected he was bald and when I asked, he finally removed the hat to show me his scalp. I was fine with it. We didn’t work out for a number of other reasons. The main one being that although in the midst of a divorce, he was still technically married. The other reason was that he hated fat people.

As it is, tonight the Red Elvises play at the Bethlehem Muskifest and I am excited to see them again. Last night I saw the movie Ted. LOVED IT! Probably because it’s from the creator of Family Guy and I love Family Guy. Potty humor, filth, vulgarity, cursing, prostitutes, poop and farts are all funny to me. I also love Flash Gordon.

Early next week I board a plane for a 10 day trip through Eastern Europe. To say I am feeling anxiety about leaving my business would be an understatement. I know I am leaving it in capable hands but I still feel nervous. It’ll be okay… it’ll be okay.

Another one to add to the list…

Just wanted to pop in with an interesting update. Over the last year, I have been out with:

  • an ex-shock jock
  • a man with long golden hair and fluffy mutton-chop sideburns
  • an Elvis Tribute Artist
  • an Irish Cowboy

And now I can add ex-MTV VJ.

It’s not Alan Hunter.

An affair with Robert Herjavec

I dreamt I went on Shark Tank to find funding for my business. I gave a compelling sales spiel and felt my chances were high. Instead of poking holes in my business plan, Robert Herjavec stood up and walked over to me. He put his arms around me and pulled me close to him. Into my ear he whispered, “You want equity, baby?” Next thing I know, he’s sucking on my earlobe. Somehow I wasn’t upset by this display of affection nor did I seem to care that it was being broadcast to millions of homes. The only thing I felt was joy that I had found my soul mate in Robert Herjavec and I knew we would be together forever.

I awoke disappointed that it was just a dream.

Last night, I moved the furniture in my bedroom around… probably for the same reason I got my hair chopped off the other day. Ways to move on.

Today I saw Ernie. You see, on Friday my mom told me my left headlamp was out and I was a Padiddle. That’s never a good thing so I went to the shop to have it replaced by the guy who hooked me up with the Big E. And of course the Big E was there… since that’s where he works. He came over and said hi and apologized for being quiet. I smiled and nodded and repeated, “It’s okay, really, it’s all good.”

And that was that. Slightly uncomfortable but not a big deal. It’s all good.

Lisa said to me this afternoon, “I think this is going to be the best summer ever!” I agreed. We’ll get out and do things and have a great time. Perhaps we will even intersect with Robert Herjavec and my dreams can come true.

    What I would love to do this summer

  • Red Elvises
  • Robert Gordon
  • Social Distortion
  • Nick Cave
  • Nate Myers and the Aces
  • The River’s Rockabilly Trio
  • Elvis Tribute Artists
  • Los Straitjackets
  • Swing Dancing
  • Blobfest & Blob Ball
  • Classic movies at the County
  • Professor Ouch’s Car Shows
  • Blue Comet and Jack’s Twin Bar
  • Other suggestions welcome in the comments below

Weird Stuff Happens

I went to Rosemont yesterday. I was invited to be a guest speaker for one of their graduate classes. Craziness! It felt pretty awesome being on campus as an expert and not a shy student who has no idea what she wants to be when she grows up. Strolling through campus to get to my car, I reached for my phone with the thought, “I gotta call Daddy and tell him how this went.”

As soon as the thought took shape, I realized it wasn’t 1996. I can’t call Daddy.

That night I had a dream he somehow materialized and I was so happy because I had so many things to ask him. I asked him question after question but the only one I now remember was, “Should I hire a matchmaker?” His reply was, “Get out and circulate, meet people… you’ll be fine.”

Sometimes the Internet is a time machine. I’ve been trying to do more with Google+ and as I’ve putzed around it, I found they’ve integrated all the old Picasa Web albums into their photo section. Google+ is less than a year old but my albums date back 6 years. Holy cow have things changed. There were pictures of my dad and pictures of PB. Just thinking of those damn pictures makes me want to cry.


Lisa and I drove to Baltimore on Friday night and on Saturday we met up with Todd and his wife. I drank so much Natty Boh! It was nice seeing Todd again. We ended up driving home at 2am. I still feel like I am trying to catch up since that sleepless night spent on the road.

I am trying to decide what to do. I seem to be obsessed with death and it’s finality. I wish I believed in life after death. I am still reeling a bit from losing Ernie. What kicks me is how he has just totally disappeared from my life. Guess that’s for the best. Platonic friendship seems a bit of a joke. Perhaps I am just ready to find someone new? What can be my strategy? Online dating isn’t something I want to do again. Here’s an idea: I will find a way to refer to my singleton status at my speaking engagements. If someone in the audience is interested, maybe knowing I am free will give him the balls to make a move? Let’s do it!

I did meet a man while I was in Baltimore. He was standing on a street corner in Fell’s Point. I thought he was just the cutest thing… but he kept his left hand in his pocket. I realized what that meant and moved on.

The weather has suddenly changed and it’s hot. My air conditioning will go on soon.

Yesterday I took Bo outside and hosed him down. He was so stinky! It was so funny watching his fur deflate as it got wet. He went from a marshmallow to a lima bean.

What will happen tomorrow?

I couldn’t seem to wake up like I did yesterday. The alarm went off at 6am and I couldn’t get myself up! Instead I waited until the last possible second and then threw myself out of bed. I was ready in under 5 minutes.

This morning was my weekly networking gig and I actually was looking forward to it so I could speak to the E-Man’s friend and maybe get an idea of what really occurred to end our engagement.

No dice.

He stayed clear of me and when I walked up to him, he walked away. It doesn’t matter. I am actually okay with it. The more I think of it the more I realize that it was truly a learning experience. Looking back over my love life, I have only had relationships with jerks. The E-Man helped me realize what it’s like to be treated nicely… even if it did end rather badly.

Another awesome thing occurred… I got booked for another episode of a Sirius/XM radio show! No word on the Arabic talk show… that might be an elaborate joke, I really don’t know.

I am still in an Elvis fog. Today my mom came over for lunch and I accounted every little detail of the date… right down to him pulling the recline lever on my driver’s seat. If it was anyone but an Elvis Tribute Artist, I would have held back… in this situation, I couldn’t.

At the beginning of the date, when I got out of the car to greet him, he grabbed me and kissed me. I pushed him away and said, “How dare you think those cheap tactics would work with me!”

“Them’s ain’t tactics, honey. It’s just the beast in me,” he replied.

At that moment I knew I was in for the ride of my life.

It’s just impossible…

I woke up this morning at 5:00am. My intention wasn’t to arise so early. Rather than stay in bed, staring at the ceiling, I got up and got work done. In fact, I got a lot of work accomplished. At 10am, I was surprised it was just 10am! It felt like 1:00pm!

I think I need to do this more often… maybe I won’t have to work until 9pm to get all my stuff accomplished!

In other news, I really think I need to find myself an Elvis Tribute Artist. Sunday was just so perfect and I realized… this is what I want… a man with fuzzy sideburns, pillowy lips, who serenades me with Elvis songs. Of course the problem is that an ETA who does it full time is constantly moving from town to town and he must spread his Elvis love to many women. And part time Elvises just aren’t committed… they typically wear wigs and press on sideburns.

Perhaps this is a dream that I need to release.

Most amazing night ever

What I love about my life is, the craziest things just happen to me.

On Friday, I sadly realized my latest love and I were through. On Sunday, I found myself in the arms of an Elvis Tribute artist… second runner up at the Philly Official ETA primaries!

Today, I was asked to appear on an Arabic talk show.

Oh, and the luck! I was soooo about to wear my Elvis T-shirt on Sunday but I thought to myself, “No, Donna, it’s better to wear your t-shirt with the heart lined in pink fringe. It looks better frugging” And it’s a good thing because that night when I showed up at TGIFriday’s with Elvis, it would have just looked really odd also wearing an Elvis t-shirt.

Here’s what we looked like earlier, frugging on the dance floor:

Unfortunately, in the real version, a girl walked behind me holding a diet coke which somehow perfectly caught my hand, sending it upward into the air. I felt bad until the Tom Jones stylist grabbed me around the waist and said, “Not your fault, darlin’… everyone knows you don’t walk behind a dancing girl!”

Yes, it’s true that almost a year ago, I showed up to a bar with a Buddy Holly impersonator.

I can’t help but wonder… what next?