An affair with Robert Herjavec

I dreamt I went on Shark Tank to find funding for my business. I gave a compelling sales spiel and felt my chances were high. Instead of poking holes in my business plan, Robert Herjavec stood up and walked over to me. He put his arms around me and pulled me close to him. Into my ear he whispered, “You want equity, baby?” Next thing I know, he’s sucking on my earlobe. Somehow I wasn’t upset by this display of affection nor did I seem to care that it was being broadcast to millions of homes. The only thing I felt was joy that I had found my soul mate in Robert Herjavec and I knew we would be together forever.

I awoke disappointed that it was just a dream.

Last night, I moved the furniture in my bedroom around… probably for the same reason I got my hair chopped off the other day. Ways to move on.

Today I saw Ernie. You see, on Friday my mom told me my left headlamp was out and I was a Padiddle. That’s never a good thing so I went to the shop to have it replaced by the guy who hooked me up with the Big E. And of course the Big E was there… since that’s where he works. He came over and said hi and apologized for being quiet. I smiled and nodded and repeated, “It’s okay, really, it’s all good.”

And that was that. Slightly uncomfortable but not a big deal. It’s all good.

Lisa said to me this afternoon, “I think this is going to be the best summer ever!” I agreed. We’ll get out and do things and have a great time. Perhaps we will even intersect with Robert Herjavec and my dreams can come true.

    What I would love to do this summer

  • Red Elvises
  • Robert Gordon
  • Social Distortion
  • Nick Cave
  • Nate Myers and the Aces
  • The River’s Rockabilly Trio
  • Elvis Tribute Artists
  • Los Straitjackets
  • Swing Dancing
  • Blobfest & Blob Ball
  • Classic movies at the County
  • Professor Ouch’s Car Shows
  • Blue Comet and Jack’s Twin Bar
  • Other suggestions welcome in the comments below

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