Chilly Willy

I turned off the heat. My last bill was 300.00 which was really abnormal. I am not sure if it’s because it’s been super cold and my heat has been cranking or if it’s this energy deregulation. I have had so many people tell me I should start selling energy. It’s supposedly easy and lucrative. I don’t care. The people selling it may be making money hand over fist but they come across as zombies to me. All network marketers do. Okay, almost all. I am sure there are some good network marketing opportunities out there… somewhere. It’s when people are more concerned with building a pyramid than selling a product that my bullshit alert goes off. Whatever.

My second proof came in on Friday. The inside is fine except I found a couple tiny typos. The cover also has an issue. It’s not centered correctly. I have a call in to the printer and I am waiting for their response. I have no intention of going through another proof round. I figure I will see what they have to say about the cover, hopefully it’s their fault. And then I’ll upload the new interior and rather than wait for the proof to arrive, I’ll just approve it early and go with it. That’s my plan and I am sticking to it.

Last night, Poopie and I watched an episode of Night Gallery on Hulu. It’s an episode that really freaked out my parents when it first aired. I remember them both individually telling me about the episode numerous times while growing up.

It stars Lawrence Harvey who sports the most lovely sideburns! They look quite a bit like Pookie’s burns. Let me tell you, the episode is awesome. And I wonder if it was actually a mistake or if it was done intentionally… by Tommy or maybe Rhona? This little tidbit shouldn’t ruin anything… in fact, I already new the outcome from the beginning… I wish I could have taken it in fresh though.

In her shiny tights, fighting for our rights

There’s a pic out of the new Wonder Woman
Wonder Woman

I am really excited that it’s finally here! Yeah, a movie would have been awesome but a television show is even better. Looking at this picture a few things come to mind. One of which is I have turned into my mother. All I want to say is, “Honey, your hair is stringy! Brush it out! And here’s some toilet paper… BLOT!”

The one thing I can’t escape is the feeling I am looking at a Halloween catalog pic. The outfit looks kinda cheap. And I should know! My Wonder Woman costume was made out of felt. Clearly, her costume isn’t matted woolen fibers… but the shine! Wowzers! Regardless, I do like the outfit. I think it’s awesome that rather than giving us tits and ass they just went with tits. Love the feminum bracelets and golden lasso. I do miss the stars. The boots are pretty awesome. She’s a tall girl. I bet they were custom made for her.

What do you think?

The sun is out and my bones aren’t chilled

WOW! It’s a nice day out there. It’s really temperate. There’s a part of me that wants to be out there enjoying it. Wait, that’s all of me.

I can’t help but think back to college. As soon as the days warmed, I’d head out to the Green, throw down a blanket and lay in the sun. Good times. This year is my 15 year reunion. I can hardly believe 15 years have past since I wandered down the halls of Rosemont. I miss seeing the tulips in the spring… I wonder if they even still have the tulips. Their groundsmen, Irish Eddie, died a number of years ago and he was responsible for the gorgeous flowers. Which gets me thinking about Bob, the guy who checked our student cards before we could eat in Cardinal Hall. He also died a few years back. And Rick Strickler, the Computer Room admin… and Roy, the postman with the big pompadour.. and Emma who made the best sandwiches.

I miss the father-daughter luncheons and Oktoberfest and Founder’s Day…

The real shame is it’s all over. It’s co-ed now. The traditions are dead.

Book news…

So I went buck wild and re-edited the proof. I called it quits last night and uploaded my files. This morning I ordered what I hope is the final proof. Really. I am done. Stick a fork in me!

How is it that each time I printed the dang thing out, I kept finding errors and issues and things that needed fixing. I am sure if I printed it out one last time, I would have found additional things to change. I have no idea how real authors do it. How were books written prior to Word? Did it all just flow out of Emily Bronte perfectly the first time?

Oh, and my mother said the sweetest thing to me today. “Donna, did you hear about Japan? They are saying that the radiation may hit us over here! Your father has decided to buy liquid iodine just in case. You should head over to the pharmacy and buy some, too. All you need is a couple drops in a glass of water. You look thyroid-y anyway, it might do you good.”

I had a bit of an epiphany the other day: I am doing pretty darn good. I am running my own business. I am speaking in front of groups. I wrote a book. It’s like my dream came true and I wasn’t paying any attention to it. Instead I was concentrating on my messy house and other not so perfect things in my life. It’s strange how that happens. I feel like a loser yet I am doing what I always wanted to do. Maybe it’s time to try some gratitude on for size?

Proof of Idiocy

The proof of my book didn’t arrive this afternoon as I had hoped it might. Clearly when they say, ETA 3/11, they mean it. I can’t wait to see how it looks in book format! And I am curious to see how well I nailed it… or not.

I received an interesting message today. And I am kinda torn whether to go into it here or not. At one time I had complete anonymity blogging… not anymore. Most of you are my Facebook friends and the rest have totally surmised everything else. Even though I don’t have an employer, is it right for me to vent here? Especially since it could get out? Who is reading these posts? I have no clue! Why don’t more of you comment!?!

Throwing caution to the wind, here’s the interesting message I received today: “Wanted to know if you had about an hour next week to sit with me – I have a client who I will be [insert everything I do for a living] and I wanted to pick your brain before getting started…can we do an hour consultation? What do you charge?”

Is it just me or is this out and out wrong? And INSULTING? Does she honestly think an hour consultation will provide her with all the information she needs to do what I do for a living? And why should I give her one hour of my time to arm her with the info to do my specialty? I can’t believe she didn’t read the email through and think, maybe this is inappropriate and tactless?

And now I am left wondering how to respond. Am I overacting? How would you respond?

Movies I want to see

Found this sitting in my drafts folder, figured I’d update it and post it. Perhaps it will give Pookie some ideas next time he’s near a Redbox.

and some I wouldn’t mind sitting through…
Black Swan
Burlesque
You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger
You Again?
Salt
Eat Pray Love
Sex and the City 2
MacGruber
Coco Chanel and Igor Stravinsky
Ondine
The Ghost Writer
Hot Tub Time Machine
Chloe
A Single Man (still haven’t seen it!)
The Last Station
She’s Out of My League
Dinner for Schmucks
A-Team
Get Him to the Greek

Whine Whine Whine

So many pet peeves. I am sick of email. It seems all people want to do is send email. Why can’t you just pick up the phone and call me? Trust me, it’s easier. And I am also ticked off because I got stood up today. The guy emailed me, “We still on? You never confirmed.” Confirmed? How about I never cancelled! Why do I need to confirm when you WATCHED ME ENTER IT INTO MY CALENDAR?

And a client left me a VM yesterday morning (Monday), “I called you Friday evening and I STILL haven’t heard back from you! This is why I fired my last Web designer!”

I am also angry at WordPress because I can’t find any good Business Directory plugins. I have spent a crapload of money on some pretty crappy plugins and themes that look perfect until I install them. There must be a way to get an online directory installed — whether inside of WordPress or outside of it.

Oh, and a client says, “Can you install a countdown on my Website, I want there to be a countdown to election day.” EASY PEASY, right? Wrong! I think it’s going to take me 5 minutes to find a countdown plugin, install it and set it up as a widget on the sidebar. NOPE! I went through 5 different countdown plugins. The first one forced me to accept their text and all they provided was “# days until my BIRTHDAY!” Deleted that. The next three didn’t work. Finally I find one that works… 45 minutes later!

I am tired. I am sun-deprived. I am not as productive as I should be.

In better news, the proof of my book has been shipped and is in transit to me. I can’t wait to see it looking like a book and not like a stack of 8x11s. My hope is that it will be perfect and not require any changes. I want this part of the process over!

I think I am hungry and that’s why I feel so crabby.

Just you shut your mouth

I entered church on Sunday and a large bolt of lightning did not strike me dead. I held baby Fiona over the baptismal font and father Chris doused her with holy water. My favorite part of the ceremony was when we were instructed to recite, “Lord Hear Our Prayer” and each time we repeated it, little Fiona’s butt tooted.

I was just talking to a friend who told me how his family celebrates Passover… I was pretty shocked how uninformed I am regarding Jewish holidays. I thought it was just a meal but it’s quite an undertaking that resembles a massive Spring Cleaning. I need to do Spring Cleaning and I think making it official with a holiday is just the right kind of push.

This morning I read an article about echolocation. The article profiled this blind guy who is able to practically see using echolocation. I’ve spent a good part of the day clucking my tongue trying to echolocate the monitor in front of me to no avail. Clucking my tongue has made me think of that crazy movie, “The God’s Must Be Crazy.” Do you remember that movie? It was awesome, I recall.

I have so much work to get done today… STILL. The reason is instead of catching up on unfinished work on Saturday, I finished my book and sent it to the printing company instead. Soon I will be ordering a proof and then I will be selling copies on Amazon! I can barely wait!

Bob’s Vulgar Burgers

I think it was on Sunday that I caught the rebroadcast of Bob’s Burgers pilot episode. It was so vulgar! I couldn’t stop laughing.

It reminded me of something that happened to me once when I was in college. Audra’s roommate was a Japanese Exchange Student. Yasuyo was quite a bit different than most of the other Japanese Exchange Students. She didn’t spend all her time hiding under her bed like the others.

Yasuyo didn’t like me. I never really understood why. It couldn’t have been because I memorized a ton of filthy Japanese phrases and often threw them into conversation just to see her face contort up.

Koko wa kankoku? Datte inu no aji ga surunda mon.

And I am sure it had nothing to do with how I would often play Yoko Ono songs for her.

I remember the one time she said, “Doe-na! Turn that off!”

“Why, Yasuyo?”

“Because what Yoko says makes me uncomfortable!”

“What is Yoko saying?”

“Yoko says, ‘I want to lie with you in a sexual way’!!!!!”

At any rate, one day I finally asked Yasuyo why she didn’t like me.

“I don’t like you because you are….. how you say?…” She went to her Japanese-English Dictionary and looked up a word. She pointed at it, “See? VUL-GAR!”

Watching Bob’s Burgers and laughing at the itchy crotch jokes, I realized that Yasuyo was absolutely correct. I am vulgar. But not as vulgar as that show. Holy cow! How do they get away with that on broadcast television?

Little Elvis in Bruno Mars

My mom told me about Bruno Mars a few months ago– just that she enjoyed some of his songs. And then last week she told me he was the little boy Elvis stylist in Honeymoon in Vegas. I found this clip and think it’s awesome that this little boy went on to so much more… of course, I think his current music sucks and he should have stuck to Elvis songs… but that’s just me. I’ve been listening to pretty much nothing but Elvis since Elvis Week 2008 and I have yet to grow tired of it.

Just so you don’t think I am totally against all contemporary music, I do love Eli “Paperboy” Reed: