Last night I went to Marshall’s. Knowing I will be employed shortly gave me the okay to go and buy a new dress. Looking through the dress rack, I found this gorgeous little number:

Doesn’t it look like something Emma Peel or Paula Prentiss might have worn? I tried it on and it fit PERFECTLY, except there were two smudges right near the left breast and it looked like someone had tried to wash them away because that area was rubbed and pilled slightly. Although it wasn’t obvious, I couldn’t buy it. But now I am regretting it. Maybe it wasn’t so bad! And think of all the places I can wear it! Like when I vacuum or watch TV. Besides, it’s a miniskirt/dress and I only have a limited amount of time left in which I can wear miniskirts and I should wear them now while I can. Why? On the TV show, What Not to Wear, there is a sign in the beginning that reads: “No miniskirts after 35.” I am a law abiding citizen as well as a fashion law abiding citizen and if Clinton and Stacey say no more miniskirts… that means no more miniskirts.

B.Davis tipped me that Peter Tork (is a Dork) has cancer. This morning my father sent me an article with more information:

1960’s POP STAR FORMER MONKEE PETER TORK ANNOUNCES HE HAS CANCER
Peter Tork, former member of the hugely popular 60’s pop group The Monkees and current bandleader of blues-rock band Shoe Suede Blues announced Tuesday that he has recently been diagnosed with a rare form of cancer, Adenoid Cystic Carcinoma. This uncommon and generally slow-growing form of head and neck cancer is most frequently found in the salivary glands but in his case was discovered on the lower region of the tongue.

“It’s a bad news, good news situation,” explains Tork, “It’s so rare a combination(on the tongue) that there isn’t a lot of experience among the medical community about this particular combination. On the other hand, the type of cancer it is, never mind the location, is somewhat well known, and the prognosis, I’m told, is good.”

Tork, 67, will undergo extensive surgery Weds. March 4th in New York and doctors will follow with a round of radiation treatment. Preliminary findings from a biopsy show that the cancer has not spread beyond the initial site.

I am still angry with Peter Tork (is a Dork). I know he has Googled his name and found the Donnaville entry that reported his extreme rudeness to me. Has he ever apologized? NO! And so I will continue to always put is a Dork next to his name. I hope that this bout with cancer may make him realize that his time on earth is temporary and he should be nice to people– especially nice to people WHO BOUGHT HIS STUPID SOLO CD FOR THE RIDICULOUS SUM OF 15.00 (PLUS THE PRICE OF ADMISSION TO THE CONCERT + DINNER + DRINKS) JUST SO SHE COULD SPEND A COUPLE OF SECONDS WITH HIM AND HAVE HIM SIGN THE CD COVER AND FULFILL HER CHILDHOOD DREAM OF MEETING PETER TORK (is a dork) BUT INSTEAD HE YELLED AT HER FOR NO APPARENT REASON MAKING HER FEEL REALLY SILLY IN FRONT OF A LOT OF PEOPLE AND HE EVEN MADE HER LITTLE SISTER CRY BECAUSE HE WAS HER SISTER’S FAVORITE MONKEE AND SHE TOO WANTED AT THE VERY LEAST 5 SECONDS OF HIS TIME TO SHAKE HIS HAND BUT SHE GOT SCARED BECAUSE HE WAS SO MEAN AND TOGETHER WE RAN AWAY AND DECIDED THAT PETER TORK IS A DORK AND WE WOULD NEVER GO TO ANOTHER CONCERT OF HIS (we usually went whenever he came to town) OR BUY ANY PETER TORK (is a dork) PARAPHERNALIA.

With that said, I do hope he makes a full recovery. I never wished him to get sick; I want him to get well. Obviously I still have feelings for him, otherwise I wouldn’t continue to be so very angry with him.

Here is a private message between me and Peter Tork (is a dork). Peter, just highlight the text below with your cursor, highlighting will reveal the hidden message:

I hope you get well, dork.

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I had a fantastic dream last night! I dreamt I was watching a 1970’s variety show starring: MICKY DOLENZ, DAVY JONES, and MIKE NESMITH! (Notice how Peter Tork (is a dork) was absent!) Their special guest stars were DONNY & MARIE OSMOND AND JOHN DENVER!!!!!!! And the greatest part of it, I mean in addition to their kooky purple feathered outfits, was that all the songs and skits included a silly nod to Peter Tork (is a dork) being a dork! I was so sad to wake up!

I love getting emails. I love joke emails (even though I think I’ve read every single one of them twice). I love when people forward me silly videos BUT I HATE WHEN THEY ATTACH THE VIDEO TO THE EMAIL. Can’t you just find it on YouTube and send me a link? See, I got Vista which means my computer is slower than a tortoise, it’s slower than my old Commodore 64. If I try to open a video attachment, that’s all my computer will be able to do for a good 5 minutes. Talk about painful. And if the video sucks… it makes the pain I already feel so much greater. But if people would attach a YouTube link– it doesn’t kill my computer and it’s not eating at the space Gmail provides. I get a quick chuckle and I can move on.

Please– stop sending video attachments– run a quick search on YouTube and send the link that way!

This post doesn’t pertain to my parents… you guy do what makes you happy.

Lisa and I went to LA Fitness last night and took the Latin Impact class. OMG! I LOVE IT! The instructor added two new dances, Zumba and Punta. I would be happy if that is all we did for the entire class. The Zumba moves somehow came very natural to me. In an odd way it reminded me a little bit of a dance routine in a Bollywood movie. The Punta dance was all about rolling and shaking your hips and butt! Here’s a video of me dancing the Punta:

Okay, that’s not me. But I swear she dances the Punta just like the way we were doing it in class. (I love how there’s a girl in the background studying– oblivious to the PUNTA taking place!)

Yesterday afternoon I signed the offer letter and returned it to Glen Beck II. I had some reservations, I am not going to lie. But I thought it through and it’s a really good opportunity. I am making more than I did at my old job and I get to work from home. The industry that I will be selling into is apparently staying strong despite this downward spiraling economy. The sales people I met don’t have anything up on me so if they can do it, I can do it too. Plus, it’s an interesting product, interesting industry. And lastly, there is very little out there right now and this opportunity pretty much came presented to me on a silver platter. I feel like it’s a gift from God. So I signed at the X. Now I just gotta kick some ass.

My start date is March 16th. Let the countdown begin!

The snow fell as forecasted. We got about 4-6 inches which was quite a bit less than the 8-16 inches “Hurricane” Schwartz predicted. Who cares, at least we got some snow. Nothing infuriates me more than when snow is called for and nothing but a beautiful day shows up. My plan was to spend the snow day watching morning television- just like when I was a kid. I couldn’t find any channel showing episodes of Bewitched, Gilligan’s Island, I Dream of Jeannie, McHale’s Navy, F-Troop, or The Brady Bunch! Instead I watched Good Morning America or was it the Today Show? I don’t know. I just flipped through the different channels. Every show talked about two things… (1) how we must save money because our country is in a serious financial crisis and we need to start washing out and reusing Ziploc bags AND (2) Barack O’Bama is absolutely wonderful, elegant and articulate and his wife Michelle is just so classy and well-dressed. Watching this crap, I began to worry that my brain really was about to turn to jelly and so I decided to just turn it off.

I met the owner at an Italian Restaurant. In his hands he held a manila folder. With very little fanfare (Where was the Mariachi band?) he opened the folder and handed me an offer letter. We went over it together and I had a few questions but nothing shot out at me as being fishy. We talked about college– he went to Villanova (or Vanilla-nova as us Rosemonsters used to call it back then) which is right next to Rosemont. Our conversation turned to the economy and the media. And he said, “The media is doing it’s best to keep the public in a state of fear, panic, and anxiety!” Suddenly it clicked. Immediately upon meeting him, I felt a very strong sense of familiarity with him. That was one of the reasons I wasn’t overly spooked by the weird fixation on my short email. It seemed almost normal to me that he would act a bit insane every now and then. And I couldn’t explain why I felt like I knew him for ages. But then it clicked. He is a dead ringer for Glen Beck! How could I have not noticed this earlier? I knew a woman who also commanded this same false sense of kinship because she looked like Jody Foster. People just automatically assumed they knew her and liked her based on her uncanny resemblance to “Nell.” This worked out well for her– unfortunately she is today sitting in a jail cell because it was discovered she was running a Meth lab and prostitution ring from her house. I think she also dabbled in producing false government IDs. Nice girl all the same. Looked just like Jody Foster!

So I got an offer letter. It’s a good offer! At this point on my life’s journey, it looks to be a better deal than what I had been doing. Who honestly knows until I start working the territory if it really is better but it seems better on paper. I have until Tuesday to get back to him. If I accept, I start the 16th.

I wonder if my resemblance to Celine Dion affects how people react to me? Maybe that’s the reason I get spit upon so often? Not convinced of our similarity? Click here for a side by side comparison of Celine and me— Celine’s on the right, I’m on the left.

I started getting ready at 7:30. I don’t need to leave until 10:30. Three hours is too much time to fill. I ate, I showered, I dressed, I powdered, I made-up, I rolled, I brushed, I scrubbed, I moisturized… And I have an hour left. This interview process has been extreme. I doubt Carol Bartz had to jump through so many hoops. In a way I feel like I am back on eHarmony.com. And one of the problems I had with the dating Web sites is that I lost focus on what I really wanted. Back then, I wanted to find a boyfriend who possessed certain qualities but after awhile I started forgetting about the boyfriend bit and started fixating on just trying to get a second date, trying to find someone, anyone who liked me. And I am trying to make sure I am not making that mistake again. I haven’t followed this through because I just want someone, anyone to want me; I am following this through because it’s a killer opp.

So I am wearing my black with blue piping, asymmetrical Issac Mizrahi pseudo-wrap dress from Target. I feel good. I am ready. Closure will be had soon– one way or the other.

When I was a young girl I had a sticker book. It was actually a red photo album but rather than shove photos in it, I stuck stickers. My little schoolmates and I used to trade stickers on the playground during recess– 2 apple stickers for your Brainy Smurf– 4 kitty cat stickers for a Smurfette. The Smurf stickers were much sought after. The other favorites were rainbows and unicorns. Those could go 1 on 1 against a Smurfette.

The other day I saw on the Gmail blog that if you sent them a self-addressed stamped envelope, the Gmail team would return it to you brimming with gmail-inspired stickers. The little girl in me couldn’t let this opportunity pass. I sent out the SASE and promptly forgot about it. Yesterday my envelope arrived! I got all the stickers promised EXCEPT the unicorn sticker. I am a little disappointed but I know how popular unicorn stickers are and I can understand running out. The part of all of this that I thought was really cool is amongst the stickers was a handwritten note that said, “Enjoy the stickers! The Gmail Team” Gives it a real folksy feel. I LOVE IT!