Tomorrow is my dad’s memorial service and I am not looking forward to it. The thought of having to relive Saturday over and over again because people will invariably ask about it, frightens me. The thought of breaking down in front of people scares me. The whole sledgehammer realization of the finality of this horrific situation freaks me out. I don’t know how it came to this. Everything was awesome. And then this happens.
Game over man
My dad died Saturday morning. He hadn’t been feeling well for about a week. On Monday he scheduled an appointment with the doctor for 2pm. I stopped by and kept him company as he waited for his appointment time to arrive. We had lunch and talked about my book and business. The doctor said his heart was fine and ordered him to get a chest x-ray. Wednesday I had a full day of presentations and appointments. PB had a tradeshow in Atlantic City and he brought back a White House Hoagie for my parents. Thursday I surprised my dad with the White House for dinner. The chest x-ray came back as normal. We went up to his office and talked and then we watched a little bit of 2 and a half men. I took off before the show ended. On Friday I stopped by and had dinner. I noticed my dad’s face looked really red. I told him he had color and was looking good. He said he felt terrible. I kissed him good bye and went home to my place.
Saturday morning I made myself granola and coffee and went up to my office. I noticed my phone was ringing which was odd for 7:30 Saturday morning. It was Lisa. She was hysterical. She said Dad fell down. I tore down the stairs, threw on flip flops and a trench coat over my pajamas and broke every traffic law getting home. There were two ambulances and two police cars at the curb. I don’t remember parking my car, I just was in the house… which explains why the neighbor came by later with my keys and said she turned off my car which had been left idling in front of her house.
It wasn’t more than an hour later that the doctor told us dad had died.
I knew it would happen. But I thought it was out in the future. He was only 73. And he took such awesome care of himself. I thought I’d have him for another 20 years. And now he is only in the past. No more future. I am destroyed. I am totally and utterly destroyed inside.
Darling Dimpled Daughter Donna
Last night I went home to my parents’ house for dinner. My mom made spaghetti and meatballs and sausage. My father said to me, “Did you see those comments on your blog? They are hysterical!”
“Aren’t they great? Mine is the only blog where the commenters are more entertaining than the blog itself.”
We laughed and my dad said, “Yeah, your blog is boring but those guys make it entertaining.”
My dad died this morning. And I am numb.
More book crap
So the book is out there. The final proof arrived on Friday and I flipped the switch. Is it perfect? No, but it’s good enough. Now I need to market the darn thing so I can sell some copies. I am excited.
I have a list of 4 items that I need to get accomplished. And I am procrastinating. Which is silliness. Instead of doing it and feeling a sense of relief… I am thinking about it, fretting it, fearing it, and dealing with it for a much longer period of time. I think I may do what I used to do… light a peppermint candle and force myself to get it done.
The sun is bright outside but the air is frigid. It might be good to get out and walk around.
Feeling Groovy, Baby!
My mother turned an ungodly sum yesterday. I got her an awesome birthday present. A kick ass computer! Yeah, I am quite happy with myself!
The news regarding my little self-published gem is… I decided to wait. It will arrive tomorrow. I am ready to push the approve button!
Why is it that other people bring life into focus? What I mean is, I thought my house was clean. Or at least clean enough. I asked my exterminator to lay down a perimeter of death to stop the ants from marching through… he arrived today and immediately I realized that my house was a mess. Things I hadn’t noticed were suddenly glaringly obvious! Luckily he left and so everything is back to fuzzy perfection!
I wish I weren’t so convinced of people’s depravity. There’s a person in my life who is very kind to me YET I can’t help but cast him as an Ellsworth Toohey. Perhaps he really is kind and meaning no harm… or maybe he is undermining and planning for my downfall. I don’t quite know. It’s odd but when we are together, I get the distinct feeling he is my pilot fish.
Tsk Tsk Tsk
I turned the heat back on. It got too cold to live. I am still trying, very unsuccessfully, to use echolocation. I also keep imagining worms eating my brains. Damn Night Gallery.
I am slowly trying to get myself on track… laundry done, paperwork filed, invoices sent, etc… I behaved rather odiously the other day and I feel really terrible about it. Honestly, it probably wasn’t all that bad but I still feel terrible. How the heck do Star Jones and Dionne Warwick live with themselves after a day of filming The Apprentice? Holy cow have you seen it? I swear that before the season is over, Dionne is going to cut someone… some HUSSY!
And I can’t stop watching Bob’s Burgers. Last night’s episode was awesome. Lin’s artist sister came to visit, bringing with her a slew of paintings of animal arschlochs that Bob was forced to hang in the diner. Seeing the archloch paintings, I was reminded of a story I was once told about these kids back in the 40’s that would capture cats and paint a red circle around their arschloch with their moms’ lipsticks. They called the painted kitties, Wampus Cats. Weird, huh? I can find no corroborating evidence of this on Google so who knows.
I can’t wait until next week. Each week they raise the stakes higher and I really can’t imagine where they will go after animal archlochs.
Today is the first day of Spring. I wrote that on Facebook this morning and someone said, “YESTERDAY was the first day of Spring, I know because Rita’s was giving out free water ice!” The anger that rushed through my body as I read that comment was intense. I wanted to kick her ass almost as bad as I wanted to kick her ass back when we were in high school together. Funny how things don’t change. Regardless, I am looking forward to warm weather and I think I am going to call my exterminator to come out and lay down a perimeter of death for any ant that tries to get close.
Book update
Turns out the book cover issue was my fault. The dimensions were off. I corrected the mistake and re-uploaded it along with the updated interior file. Now I need to figure out what to do. I have to wait for them to approve the files on their end. Once they do, I must order a final proof. The thing is, I don’t necessarily have to wait for the proof to arrive before I approve it on my end. Once I approve it, I can sell it on Amazon and the other online retailers. Sooooo, do I trust that it’s going to be okay this time? Or do I wait until Friday/Saturday for the proof to arrive? There will not be any issue with the interior file. The only issue there may be is with the cover. So far even when the cover was rather mangled, it wasn’t that bad. I probably could have gone with it if I wasn’t a crazy, anal retentive-Virgo.
What do you think? Approve it before seeing the final proof? Or wait it out, get the final proof and then proceed?
Chilly Willy
I turned off the heat. My last bill was 300.00 which was really abnormal. I am not sure if it’s because it’s been super cold and my heat has been cranking or if it’s this energy deregulation. I have had so many people tell me I should start selling energy. It’s supposedly easy and lucrative. I don’t care. The people selling it may be making money hand over fist but they come across as zombies to me. All network marketers do. Okay, almost all. I am sure there are some good network marketing opportunities out there… somewhere. It’s when people are more concerned with building a pyramid than selling a product that my bullshit alert goes off. Whatever.
My second proof came in on Friday. The inside is fine except I found a couple tiny typos. The cover also has an issue. It’s not centered correctly. I have a call in to the printer and I am waiting for their response. I have no intention of going through another proof round. I figure I will see what they have to say about the cover, hopefully it’s their fault. And then I’ll upload the new interior and rather than wait for the proof to arrive, I’ll just approve it early and go with it. That’s my plan and I am sticking to it.
Last night, Poopie and I watched an episode of Night Gallery on Hulu. It’s an episode that really freaked out my parents when it first aired. I remember them both individually telling me about the episode numerous times while growing up.
It stars Lawrence Harvey who sports the most lovely sideburns! They look quite a bit like Pookie’s burns. Let me tell you, the episode is awesome. And I wonder if it was actually a mistake or if it was done intentionally… by Tommy or maybe Rhona? This little tidbit shouldn’t ruin anything… in fact, I already new the outcome from the beginning… I wish I could have taken it in fresh though.
In her shiny tights, fighting for our rights
There’s a pic out of the new Wonder Woman
I am really excited that it’s finally here! Yeah, a movie would have been awesome but a television show is even better. Looking at this picture a few things come to mind. One of which is I have turned into my mother. All I want to say is, “Honey, your hair is stringy! Brush it out! And here’s some toilet paper… BLOT!”
The one thing I can’t escape is the feeling I am looking at a Halloween catalog pic. The outfit looks kinda cheap. And I should know! My Wonder Woman costume was made out of felt. Clearly, her costume isn’t matted woolen fibers… but the shine! Wowzers! Regardless, I do like the outfit. I think it’s awesome that rather than giving us tits and ass they just went with tits. Love the feminum bracelets and golden lasso. I do miss the stars. The boots are pretty awesome. She’s a tall girl. I bet they were custom made for her.
What do you think?
The sun is out and my bones aren’t chilled
WOW! It’s a nice day out there. It’s really temperate. There’s a part of me that wants to be out there enjoying it. Wait, that’s all of me.
I can’t help but think back to college. As soon as the days warmed, I’d head out to the Green, throw down a blanket and lay in the sun. Good times. This year is my 15 year reunion. I can hardly believe 15 years have past since I wandered down the halls of Rosemont. I miss seeing the tulips in the spring… I wonder if they even still have the tulips. Their groundsmen, Irish Eddie, died a number of years ago and he was responsible for the gorgeous flowers. Which gets me thinking about Bob, the guy who checked our student cards before we could eat in Cardinal Hall. He also died a few years back. And Rick Strickler, the Computer Room admin… and Roy, the postman with the big pompadour.. and Emma who made the best sandwiches.
I miss the father-daughter luncheons and Oktoberfest and Founder’s Day…
The real shame is it’s all over. It’s co-ed now. The traditions are dead.