I am going to take off from work the week of Thanksgiving. I must. I hope the weather will be nice. Even if I don’t do anything, I need the time off.

Today I bought 2 items online. Avon was having a free shipping day so I bought some eyeliner and crap. Then I went to AsSeenOnTV.com and spent 30.00 on UrineGone. Perusing the other items available, I was shocked by the sheer number of personal massagers. I wonder if there are people out there actually using them on their necks and back?

This evening George and Barbara took Lisa and I out to dinner. We had Chinese food. It was so yummy but I ate too much and now I feel kind of gross. I wonder if since I endulged tonight, should I allow myself to endulge tomorrow? It will be pizza night. Hmmm, maybe I will try to get in a vigorous walk and not allow myself to eat much. Then all will be okay.

“Doc, I can’t stop singing ‘The Green, Green Grass of Home.'”
“That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.”
“Is it common?”
“Well, It’s Not Unusual.”

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

WORLD’S SHORTEST FAIRY TALE

Once upon a time, a girl asked a guy “Will you marry me?”
The guy said, “NO!”
And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, and farted whenever she wanted.

THE END

I had such an awful fright last night. I had just loaded groceries into the fridge when I decided I wanted a glass of juice. I opened the door but the light didn’t go on. It had been working fine when I had loaded the groceries! I slammed the door shut, stumbled backwards, and started to pray. “Please Lord, Please let it be fine, Please! Please, I don’t want to have to buy a new fridge, Please Dear God Please!” I peaked inside and the light still didn’t go on. My stomach began to feel very very sick. Lisa, the smart girl that she is, ran out to the garage where the fuse box is located and started flipping switches. Suddenly I could hear the refrigerator start to hum. The light went on when I opened the door. THANK YOU LORD! THANK YOU SO VERY VERY MUCH! And hats off to my sister for her quick thinking. The only thing I could come up with was to curl up on the floor in the fetal position and cry. Being a homeowner isn’t all that it is cracked up to be.

As I walked to the kitchen I tried to figure out what day it is. I settled upon Thursday. Deep down I knew I was wrong but it made me happy thinking that it would soon be the weekend. I boiled an egg and made 3 cups of coffee. Sometimes there is nothing better than a medium-cooked egg. That sentence just gave me visions of Uri Geller staring at an egg and using only his mind to heat it… but he isn’t a medium. Sheree North died. She made a movie with Elvis, The Trouble with Girls and a ton of other much better films.

I had dreams I was involved in a La Femme Nikita-type sting operation. I had to scale buildings and jump from roofs. I’m not too sure what exactly the point of it was but it was exhilarating.

My jaw is still sore. I took some Ibuprofen and I am guessing it will start feeling better. I just wish I knew what happened to make my jaw hurt. Perhaps my long lost twin sister got punched in the face and I am feeling the pain! What a unique idea, I should write a book about that.

Why is it the more clothes I own the less I have to wear? How does that work? Does it mean I am spoiled or picky? Perhaps what it really means is I shop for items to wear to work and rarely shop for items to wear out and about. I really need to go through my winter clothes and try everything on and get rid of the stuff I will no longer wear. Maybe this weekend.

Did I do the dishes? No. Did I even attempt to clean the kitchen? Nope! I sat on the sofa with Lisa and Bobo and watched TV. I did do a load of laundry. Haven’t moved it to the dryer yet.

My jaw is feeling ever so slightly better.

Either I was gritting my teeth today or I have lockjaw. My jaw is sore. It didn’t stop me from eating dinner, I mean I can chew; it’s just that it feels sore. I have no recollection of cutting myself with a rusty instrument so I am just going to assume I was gritting my teeth which is unusual for me.

This day feels never ending. I don’t so much want the day to end, I just want the workday to be over. I need a kickass project to motivate me. Something will come down the line. It always does.

Bo slept with me last night. He curled up right between my knees, atop my duvet. At times he would snore a little. It was nice having him there if only because he prevented me from rolling onto my side. I have been trying to train myself for the past 15 years to sleep on my back. When I wake up from sleeping on my side, my face is all smushed and coated with a layer of saliva. It is so very not attractive. I prefer sleeping on my back and snoring like a freight train to the consequences of sleeping fetally.

I did my expense report for my Vegas trip yesterday. You wouldn’t believe how much I spent. The thing is, I spent very little considering I rarely bought dinner and I went the cheap route with breakfasts and lunches. Three big ones. Yup! Can you believe it!

TO DO LIST
1. Laundry
2. Invite Cousin David and Family over
3. Expense Report for Bills
4. Go through mail
5. Clean kitchen, mop floor.
6. Call and get estimates for heater (Why haven’t they sent them to me?!!)
7. Put away summer clothes

I ate a Stouffer’s Lean Cuisine meal and an hour later I was HUNGRY. I can only assume that the main ingredient in their Roasted Chicken with Mushrooms meal is air.

Lisa and I went to Lowe’s and bought a white plastic shelving unit for the utility closet. It snapped into place pretty easily and it is now holding all the (once haphazardly tossed) odds and ends in a nice orderly fashion. Already I am feeling a little better. There is still a lot of other things that need to be done but I must take it one step at a time. I tell you, I have such a hard time keeping a house, I honestly can’t figure out how women do it who have kids.

Is it strange that I feel almost complete since I saw the Starsky and Hutch car in person? The greatest part of the experience was that Starsky’s sweater was draped over the driver’s side seat!

Consider yourselves lucky, I was going to quote from my Starsky and Hutch slash fanzine I bought at Shore Leave 1998(?) but I can’t find it. Bah!

Don’t you dare look down on me! Yes, I bought a slash fanzine! I didn’t know what it was. I thought they were wrestling on the cover! And yes I have been to a couple Star Trek conventions. A few. Okay, a bunch. The thing is, I am not a fan. I just find myself in friendships with people who happen to be Trekkers. It is just a very odd coincidence. Lebt lang und Erfolgreich

I figured out what was wrong with the donnacam!!!

After my ISP (aka Indian Family from Jersey) upgraded the server, the donnacam stopped working. The image was captured but it wouldn’t upload. I must have fiddled with every single setting available on the spycam app but nothing worked. Just now I thought, maybe if I remove the ftp from the remote machine name… BINGO! IT WORKS!

Now I just have to figure out what happened to MT Blacklist…