I dropped off my equipment today. Computer, monitor, phone, docking station, cords… good riddance! I am happy to be done with it. It’s funny how things work out. I thought I was back to stability and security but I was wrong– it was just a three month detour. Stability and security. A few months ago I went to an End the Fed rally in Philadelphia outside the Federal Reserve. One of the speakers was Larken Rose. In his speech Larken talked about animals who have been caged too long will refuse to leave their cage when the door is finally opened to them. I look back and wonder if by accepting that last job, was it my way of getting myself back into that warm, predictable, familiar cage? I don’t have any regrets. I did what I had to do at the time. Besides, had I not accepted it, I would probably always wonder if I had given up a perfect opportunity. There was no way for me to know how impossible it was unless I did it. Now it’s over and I move on.

It was Wednesday when I decided I needed to get of Dodge so I took off for Maryland and chartered a sailboat. Captain Mark plied me with Margaritas and I slowly began to feel better. On Friday I made Tacos for lunch and then I went fishing and caught nothing. On Saturday I went to Blobfest and danced to the music of The Neanderthals. Sunday I drove to the Pocono’s and went rafting down the Lehigh River. Today I went to St. Vincent’s Seminary and visited the Shrine of Our Lady of the Miraculous Medal and attended the Novena. I am not sure what I will do tomorrow. Perhaps I will continue to celebrate. Guys, I made it out alive. The distress I was feeling is nothing more than a memory. I learned an awful lot. Yeah, it’s over and I am happy. Now I gotta find something else…

“Do you remember the things you were worrying about a year ago? How did they work out? Didn’t you waste a lot of fruitless energy on account of most of them? Didn’t most of them turn out all right after all?”

– Dale Carnegie

Dear Donna,

I am afraid I have some bad news… Dagwood was found dead in the hermit crab tank today. The cause of death is unknown. He was buried in the trashcan shortly after 1 pm. It was a private ceremony; only those close to him were invited. His casket was a small plastic ice tea container and a beautiful sandwich bag. He will surely be missed.

On a positive side I finished my Mid-Term.

Lisa

Yeah, I’ve been wallowing. I know. It’s unattractive and makes boring blog fodder. Sue me! But I do want to get over this despair. I am forgetting that I have the power to make changes to my life. I don’t like what’s going on? Well then change it. And I am working on changing it. Things may get bad but I will survive or they won’t get bad at all and I’ve been worrying needlessly. Yeah, this is a biggie. How about worrying when it’s time to worry? It ain’t time yet. What else? I don’t know. All I know is I know nothing. But I am trying.

I’ve been thirsty for a Margarita… for the last couple weeks! I have the makings for it- Limeade, Tequila, Triple Sec and ice- CHECK! And I’ve made it now a couple times- just as I have always made it and loved it. The problem is it doesn’t taste right. It’s too sweet, too tart, too “not hitting the spot.” I think I want what the Margarita stands for… relaxation, no cares, freedom, tranquility, contentedness… everything that is seemingly lacking in my life right now.

And I think of an interview with Lucy Lawless that I read years and years ago. She talked about how difficult it was filming the TV Show Xena. She said she would find herself wet and muddy, freezing her ass off, wearing only a breast plate and a leather miniskirt and somehow trying to believably command a chariot. And she would just repeat to herself, “This too shall pass, this too shall pass.”

This too shall pass.

Okay, enough self pity from me. This is it. The whine stops here!

I had a bunch of hits yesterday from people searching for Peter Tork (is a Dork). My immediate thought was, “Oh Peter, you dork! Have you joined Michael Jackson in Rock and Roll heaven?” I immediately checked Google News but found no obituary. I breathed a huge sigh of relief. Is anybody ready for a world with less than 4 Monkees? I’m not. And so the dork survives. Thank goodness. Searching Google I found out he recently announced he has a mild case of Asperger Syndrome. That might explain his dorkitude but it doesn’t excuse it.

I am sorry, this never gets old to me.

I spent July 4th with the 2004 Libertarian Presidential Candidate, Michael Badnarik.

Yeah, I had an awesome time!

And then Billy Mays. Then Mollie Sugden and now Karl Malden!

What’s going on?!?!

I am sitting here quietly finding that the huge list I have in front of me is boiling down to a big fat 0 in terms of prospects… and I am daydreaming that Richard Gere, in a white officer’s uniform, rushes into my office, scoops me up, and carries me away from my self-imposed, sweat shop life.