I totally loved this! “I grab my man boobs and offer them to you!”

I love Paula Begoun! She wrote the book, “Don’t Go to the Cosmetics Counter Without Me.” I credit her for turning my skin around. For years I suffered from acne. I tried so hard to get rid of it! Back then I used to scrub Noxema onto my face using a wash cloth and then I’d follow it by a splash of Seabreeze. And if I knew anyone going to Mexico, I’d get them to bring me back a tube of Retin A which I would empty within a month. Paula woke me up to the damage I was doing to my skin with this insane regimen. I used to believe if my skin was tingling and red, it meant that the stuff was working and my skin was getting CLEAN! Uh, nope. I also remember in her book she actually wrote if you have a big whitehead— go ahead and pop it! That really shook me because every magazine article I ever read said NEVER pop a zit no matter what! This advice never made sense to me and caused me much anxiety– are you supposed to let the pus just sit in there and fester forever? So anyway, I subscribe to Paula’s Beauty Bulletin newsletter and a woman wrote in and asked her to recommend a good, cheap skincare routine. Here is Paula’s answer:

Here’s what I recommend to get your combination skin looking healthy, smooth and beautiful (and all of these recommendations are respectful of your budget without sacrificing product quality):

Cleanser: Clean & Clear Daily Pore Cleanser, Oil-Free ($5.49 for 5.5 ounces) or Olay Foaming Face Wash for Sensitive Skin ($4.49 for 6.7 ounces) (

Exfoliant: Neutrogena Healthy Skin Face Lotion, Night ($12.59 for 2.5 ounces) or Paula’s Choice 8% Alpha Hydroxy Acid Gel ($18.95 for 4 ounces)

Daytime Moisturizer with Sunscreen: Avon Mark For Goodness Face Antioxidant Skin Moisturizing Lotion with Sunscreen SPF 30 ($15 for 1.7 ounces) or Paula’s Choice Essential Non-Greasy Sunscreen SPF 15 ($14.95 for 6 ounces)

Nighttime moisturizer for dry areas: Olay Total Effects 7X Visible Anti-Aging Vitamin Complex, Fragrance Free ($18.99 for 1.7 ounces) or Paula’s Choice Skin Balancing Moisture Gel ($18.95 for 2 ounces)

Serum/specialty product: Olay Regenerist Daily Regenerating Serum, Fragrance Free ($19.49 for 1.7 ounces) or Paula’s Choice Super Antioxidant Concentrate ($24.95 for 1 ounce).

Your routine is as follows: Cleanse your face morning and evening (particularly in the evening, to remove makeup); follow with the exfoliant and allow it to absorb. Your next step in the morning is to apply sunscreen, and this can be followed by makeup, if desired (allow several minutes for the sunscreen to absorb/set before applying makeup). In the evening, after cleansing apply the exfoliant again (if desired; you may find once-per-day application in the morning works best) and then the serum would be applied all over your face, including around the eyes. Apply moisturizer only where needed (dry patches, perhaps the skin around the eyes). That’s it! Following this simple routine should get your skin in great shape and you can add other products only if needed.

How awesomely cheap and easy is that? I had no intention of writing about zit popping but I really just want to make sure I have this recommendation recorded somewhere for my own reference.

Yesterday I saw Sandy Bullocks latest movie, The Proposal. It was cute, I enjoyed it. I was shocked to see her so… NAKED in it! There are some celebrities I DO NOT want to see naked. Sandy is one of them. Joan Jett is another. I do not want to see Renee Zellweger’s boobies. Signourney Weaver should always remain totally clothed. And Gwyneth Paltrow too. And then there are some celebrities that I just expect them to remove their clothes and jump around shaking their wobbly bits. Angelina Jolie, Sharon Stone, Scarlet Johanson, etc… Sandy pretty much kept the main parts hidden but I am sorry, just because I can’t see your nipples but I can see everything else doesn’t mean I didn’t see you naked. I will say I was totally fascinated with her body. She had no cellulite or any excess skin. She appeared to not have any hair lower than her eyeballs or for that matter any pores. She was totally smooth in an almost alien way. Lisa said she probably had some sort of resurfacing work done. However she achieved it, she looked good– and flaunt it if you got it. Heck, if I looked like her I’d go to the grocery store naked and say things like, “I’m still using my first razor!” or “I don’t know, I do nothing and I just stay so SOFT!” Instead I have been known to shout, “4-6 WEEKS my ass! It’s more like 4-6 HOURS!”

I am so excited! Tonight on the SyFy channel (WHAT’S UP WITH THAT? WHY WOULD THEY TAKE A NAME THAT IS SPELLED CORRECTLY AND MAKES SENSE AND TOTALLY BASTARDIZE IT??? I KNOW WHY AND I DON’T LIKE IT– I TELL YOU, YOU DO NOT ABANDON THE PEOPLE WHO BROUGHT YOU TO THE DANCE AND THAT IS WHAT THEY ARE DOING) is the debut of the SyFy original, soon to become classic movie, Malibu Shark Attack! Okay, I am not exactly excited about the movie but my favorite actress, Peta Wilson is starring in it as a lifeguard who discovers GOBLIN SHARKS!!! I love love love Peta– mainly from her turn as Nikita on La Femme Nikita. I still watch it over and over again, even today– a good 10 years after it was on first run syndication. There’s something about her voice and hair and the paranoia of the plot that just moves me. I am sick. I know.

A tsunami brings goblin sharks to Malibu, Cal., after a massive wave cuts lifeguards and construction workers off from dry land. Peta Wilson, Warren Christie, Chelan Simmons.

I hope Malibu Shark Attack is good!

I awoke at 5am. My mind was racing. After a 1/2 hour I decided I might as well get up. And now I feel foggy. How is that possible?

Last night was Latin Impact. Glenda included a punta for us. I am not sure if it’s the dance I love or just the name of it. At the end of the class Glenda said, “Take Care Chicas!” I wanted to reply, “See ya later Papi Chulo!” But I wasn’t sure if that would be considered appropriate so I just said, “Take Care!”

I am getting so good at filling my days without work. I visit my parents. I clean. I visit my parents. I sleep. I walk. I ride my bicycle. I visit my parents. Perhaps instead of working towards a career, I should have tried to get a rich husband so all my days could be filled so sweetly.

Time to clean!

Last night was free pizza night at Vince’s Pizza, our local pizzeria. You buy one pizza and you get a second plain pizza FREE! So I went home to partake in all the pizza goodness my father brought home.

As soon as he dropped the pizzas on the table my father said, “What’s this crap about a concealed weapon permit?”
“Well, errr, uhhhhhh.”
He then told me that he didn’t think it was a smart idea. He said that not only would it be easy to take a gun off me (little weak thing that I am) but guns give you a false sense of confidence. He said that ultimately the point of a gun is death and would I be able to live with myself if push came to shove? He gave me a ton of other reasons why a gun may not be a good idea for me. It made me think of this song by Johnny Cash, Don’t Take Your Guns to Town:

The thing is… I just want the permit. I wouldn’t get a gun until I am 100% trained on how to use it and clean it and store it, etc… And we know I have NO follow through. The likelihood of me accomplishing any of that is just above nil. But maybe I am just being crazy to even talk about it. Maybe I am better not having one. Besides… MY BODY IS MY WEAPON! Don’t make me go BERSERK!

I LOVE Billy Jack! Sorry, I couldn’t resist!

I just cleaned up my half of the garage. It was hard work. Three bags of garbage are now ready for the curb. There’s still more cleaning to be done but it must wait until Lisa comes over and works on her half. As soon as I finished I got on my bicycle and rode around my neighborhood in celebration. I love my bike. I feel like Dorothy from the Wizard of Ox riding it. Except instead of a gingham dress and pigtails I wore a strawberry printed t-shirt and a pair of gray sweatpants that have a fake tramp stamp design right above the ass. And pigtails. I wonder if that’s the reason why some man shouted “Dobryj Dyen!” as I rode by.
“Pardon?”
“You not Russian?”
“No”
“Sorry, you look it!”
“No problem… Thanks!” And I did take it as a compliment because the Russian ladies in my development are damn sexy. Although I will say sexiness is not the vibe I was channeling. Dusty and sweaty, yes. Sexy, no.

I earned $1.60 yesterday! How’s that for awesome? Google Adsense is fast becoming my best friend!

Yesterday I went to Latin Impact. I really feel like I am getting good! I owe a lot to the shoes I recently bought: HIP HOP DANCE SNEAKERS! I gotta tell you, never in a million years did I think I would own any article of clothing with “Hip Hop” in it’s name. But I do because I am a hip-hopping, punta-shaking, latin-dancing, 34-year old woman. I just wanted to get my age in there since it will be ticking up in just a short number of weeks and until then (sept 2) I want to yell it from the mountaintops. Yeah, official mid-thirties are a comin’ quick. Frightening I tell you, FRIGHTENING!

So do you think every “work from home” or “get rich quick” program is a fraudulent scheme? I got really excited last night thinking I finally found a real one but by the morning light I realized it was just one big fat bamboozlement. Thankfully I didn’t sign up for it last night when it still looked pretty good to me. I would have been out 70.00 a month for the rest of my life! It’s a good think I keep my credit card far away from my computer! I subscribe to Early To Rise and every day they have a new Get Rich Quick email that shows up in tandem with their newsletter. I wonder if maybe there’s a real one nestled in with all the deceptive ones. Or maybe the real get rich quick scheme is just to invent a get rich scheme and market it. I couldn’t do that… I’d feel horrible cheating people.

*INCOME CLAIM WARNING: Testimonials do not result typical result. These income examples are representative of some of the most successful participants in the program. Some individuals purchasing the program may make little or NO MONEY AT ALL. These claims are not a guarantee of your income, nor are they typical of average participants. No person or company can guarantee profits or freedom from loss.

*THE STORY DEPICTED ON THIS SITE AND THE PERSON DEPICTED IN THE STORY ARE NOT REAL. RATHER, THIS STORY IS BASED ON THE RESULTS THAT SOME PEOPLE WHO HAVE USED THESE PRODUCTS HAVE ACHIEVED. THE RESULTS PORTRAYED IN THE STORY AND IN THE COMMENTS ARE ILLUSTRATIVE, AND MAY NOT BE THE RESULTS THAT YOU ACHIEVE WITH THESE PRODUCTS. THIS PAGE RECEIVES COMPENSATION FOR CLICKS ON OR PURCHASE OF PRODUCTS FEATURED ON THIS SITE.

Offer Terms:
GO WEB BIZ:
By submitting an order, You automatically receive a seven day trial to the Go Web Biz . Your Seven day trial begins immediately upon placing your order. You will be billed one dollar and ninety five cents at the time of order submission. Once Your trial is active you have seven days to decide whether to accept Your Subscription. Prior to the expiration of the seven day trial period, you may cancel your subscription by calling toll-free at 1-866-511-2427. Should You fail to cancel Your Subscription within the seven day trial You will be billed seventy nine dollars and ninety cents at the completion of the seven day trial and every month thereafter for Your monthly Subscription unless canceled by You.

My neighbor and I have gotten friendly. She’s a real nice girl. I invited her to come to my Latin Impact: Punta! class the other day… and she came! Yesterday she showed up at my door with a quart of Rita’s Water Ice. Her parent’s are Rita’s Water Ice bigwigs and they get tons of Ice to share. And can you believe how lucky I am? They decided to share their new flavor of Ice with me! S’More! It’s really good– really sweet but really good. It tastes just like a S’more– Graham Cracker, Marshmallow and Chocolate. I am loving it although I don’t think I would ever buy it on my own… can you imagine how much punta I would have to do to work off all those extra calories?

“Somebody said to me, ‘But the Beatles were anti-materialistic.’ That’s a huge myth. John and I literally used to sit down and say, ‘Now, let’s write a swimming pool.’” — Paul McCartney

I resisted having ads on Donnaville for a long time. I thought it was creepy placing ads on a personal Web site. That was until a certain someone told me he makes $80.00 a month on his ads! That’s a lot of money! And with $80.00 of riches in mind, I set up a Google Adsense account for Donnaville. Sure, it’s not enough for a swimming pool but it’ll buy me some hot wings and beer… which makes me just as happy!

If the ad on the right bothers you, then find me a job.