I really do feel like I live a charmed life. All day today I visualized myself at the free Micky Dolenz concert, front and center! I just knew I would find a spot, somehow. As it were, I left a bit late and found myself in a mob scene. I could clearly see where I should have been standing but I couldn’t reach it. I kept creeping closer and closer but my height makes it difficult to truly squeeze in. Just as I was thinking to myself, “I wonder what happened, I visualized this situation so perfectly!” my first client and friend, Chris, peeked his head out from right in front of the stage! He waved at me, cut through the crowd, whispered to the security guard who then motioned for me to come over and as I approached, the security guard said, “Sure your sister can join you, HAVE FUN!” Next thing I know, I am right where I was supposed to be, shaking my butt to MICKY DOLENZ, front and center!!!
I had so much fun! The only thing that would have made it better is if Lisa was there with me!
Lisa and I went to the Warminster Micro Blues Brewfest yesterday. We ran into my old German teacher from High School. This is the second time I’ve seen him at a beerfest. It was fun talking to him again. It’s odd but I can’t seem to call him by his first name… I am compelled to call him Herr H.
In the middle of the festivities there was a kiosk set up and they were selling spices, t-shirts, and cigars. The t-shirts made no sense to me. One of the t-shirts read: 4acebook
I couldn’t figure out the reasoning behind replacing the 4 with an F. I asked the guy behind the counter and he said, “It’s for the 4 Aces.”
“Ahhh, okay, thanks!” I had no idea what he was talking about but to ask him to elaborate seemed useless… kinda like when you ask someone to repeat themselves twice and rather than ask a third time it’s just easier to smile, nod your head, and say, “Yeah, you got it.”
Lisa then piped up, “Donna! Admit it… you still have no clue what he’s referring to… 4 ACES?!?”
The guy looked at us like we were stupid and said it had something to do with the Phillies. No wonder I had no idea. I don’t follow football.
Lisa decided to buy a cigar. The girl selling the cigars told us to get the cigar with the naked black chick on its sleeve. She said it tasted like chocolate. Somehow I was reminded of this song and dance number from the movie, Hair:
At any rate, I once tried to smoke a cigar a number of years ago and found the entire experience unsettling and off-putting. This time was different. I didn’t mind it. Can’t say I will ever do it again but it wasn’t nearly as disgusting as I remember.
Lisa went back towards the end of the event and bought 3 more cigars. Rather than giving her just the 3 cigars, the girl filled up the bag with an additional 4 cigars AND a bottle of curry spice.
“Do you think she liked me? Why else would she give me so many free cigars?”
“Lisa, she’s a pusher! A dealer! She wants to get you hooked so you will keep buying from her.”
“Gosh, I feel so dirty and used now.”
After the event, we went to New Hope to buy a cutter for the cigars. I am wondering if Lisa really has plans to take up smoking cigars? The girl who sold them to her had said that she smokes 3 – 5 A DAY! I find that incredible. Honestly, I didn’t get any pleasure or relaxation from it. I don’t get it. Whatever.
I woke up this morning after a night filled of odd dreams… none featuring nudity. I dreamed Audra decided to get married to Steve again and she threw a HUGE wedding. I kept finding myself outside the festivities doing other things like swinging from a rope over a lake, saving a prostitute from evil pimps, and trying to break into a party at an Old Navy store. I knew Audra was angry that I wasn’t at her wedding and I felt extremely guilty but I truly felt there were outside forces keeping me from her gala celebration.
Upon waking up I decided to join Match.com rather than Catholic Match. Why? Well, it seems to me if a person is going to join Catholic Match, they are doing so because they want someone who is at the very least not a heathen and somewhat practicing. Plus, throw in my own crazy prerequisites and I can’t help but wonder the odds of finding someone non-religious, tall, and Libertarian on Catholic Match? Not too likely. Match.com seems a better place for me.
I found a discount code this morning and applied it. I committed to twenty bucks a month for 3 months. My very first search found 0 men. I still feel positive. Heck, what’s $60? I have nothing to lose. Anything is better than what eHarmony was providing me. It’s time to move on.
If you get right down to it, yes I want a serious relationship but I would also be happy with finding someone with whom I can hang out and go places and talk and laugh and listen to music and watch movies and cook for and eat with and be with and confide in and trust and and and … I guess that’s a serious relationship, right?
I’m not going to love blog… this is just an update as to where I am when it comes to online dating.
eHarmony Stats:
151 current matches
243 matches archived by me
75 matches closed by me or them
7 matches in communication stage
I just got off the phone with an eHarmony match. I was surprised to receive a call so late on a Friday but since he got my number from a dating site, he clearly figured I was free… and I was. At any rate, what a conversation! After finding out what high school I attended (a rival of his) he became beligerent and accused me of vandalizing the rock in front of his school. I was so confused and wasn’t sure how to behave. Was he teasing? If so, why did he seem so serious? Could he really think I was responsible? He seemed very obsessed with High School which is odd since he’s now in his forties. He then got on the topic of his sister having four children. He seemed to think it wasn’t right even though her husband was a lawyer and made good money and she loved kids. I told him I am a Libertarian and believe in live and let live. He then started bashing Ron Paul and the Liberty movement.Â
“You know, I’m just not feeling it. It was nice talking to you but I gotta go.”
He then called me a bitch and slammed down the phone.Â
This is the second time I’ve been called a bitch and hung up on.
My eHarmony membership expires today. I am not renewing. It’s not because of tonight’s a$$hole. It’s mainly because the matches are physically incompatible with me. Dating a man who is 5 foot 4 is not an option for me regardless of our other 27 dimensions of compatibility. Besides, I have begun to suspect most of the men are not active. They allow you to see who has viewed your profile and my profile is viewed by very few men. It’s time to move on and reinvest the 50 dollars in a different company.Â
So… Catholic Match or just regular Match? Which one should I join? There’s something so nice about Catholic Match. Yes, I am a horrible Catholic but I do seem to get on better with Catholics. I chalk it up to common background. But how can I join as a lapsed cafeteria Catholic? It seems so hypocritical.Â
And Match seems to attract men who aren’t all that serious.Â
Night after night I dream that I find myself in a crowd or at an important meeting… totally naked. The people in attendance don’t seem overly shocked or concerned. I never seem to remember why I opted to go naked and I try to appear nonchalant about my lack of clothing but inside I am squirming!
Becoming mortified at the realization that you are naked in public, reflects your vulnerability or feelings of shamefulness. You may be hiding something and are afraid that others can see right through you. Metaphorically, clothes are a means of concealment. Depending on the type of clothes you wear, you can hide your identity or be someone else. But without them, everything is hanging out for all to see. You are exposed and left without any defenses. Thus your naked dream may be telling you that you are trying to be something that you really are not. Or you are fearful of being ridiculed and disgraced. Such anxieties are elevated especially in situations where you are trying to impress others. Perhaps you are in a new work environment or in a new relationship. You may be expressing fears or apprehension in revealing your true feelings in such situations.
Nudity also symbolizes being caught off guard. Finding yourself naked at work or in a classroom, suggests that you are unprepared for a project at work or school. You may be unprepared in making a well informed decision. With all eyes on you, you fear that some flaw will be brought to public attention. You fear that people will see through your true self and you will be exposed as a fraud or a phony.
Often times, when you realize that you are naked in your dream, no one else seems to notice. Everyone else in the dream is going about their business without giving a second look at your nakedness. If this happens in your dream, then it implies that your fears are unfounded; no one will notice except you. You may be magnifying the situation and making an issue of nothing. via dreammoods
Recently watched Caligula and have been thinking of other movies equally as messed up (although would prefer to stay less porny and more cinematic).
1. Tin Drum
2. The Night Porter
3. Zardoz
4. Swept Away by an Unusual Destiny in the Blue Sea of August
5. Les Biches
6. The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie (or is this one just weird???)
7. Fellini Satyricon
8. Teorema ( I also want to include The Collector starring Terrance Stamp but it doesn’t seem nearly effed up enough to warrant it’s own entry)
9. Persona, Hour of the Wolf, Incubus (Yes I know Incubus really shouldn’t be here but it’s very weird in the same manner as the others)
10. Pretty much anything by Lina Wertmüller, Rainer Werner Fassbinder, Klaus Kinski, Werner Herzog, Dirk Bogarde, Luis Buñuel and……
Help me out here. I am looking for sick, weird, but awesome movies.
I keep coming up with them.. Wicker Man, The Libertine, ALAIN DELON!!! The Girl on her Motorcycle, Purple Noon….
Do you remember that movie from the 90’s called Singles? There’s a scene in it where Brigitte Fonda’s character opens up the refrigerator and finds nothing but a bag of brown salad. She then makes herself the most disgusting salad ever and eats it. WELCOME TO MY LIFE! My dinner this evening was a brown salad. I am back to pickles and triscuits as my main mode of nutrition. This is no way for a 37 year old woman to live.
And here’s something disgusting… I have tons of rotted food in my refrigerator because I CAN’T THROW IT AWAY! I have a grapefruit that came in a fruit basket after my dad died. I have an empty bottle of Pelegrino water and containers of yogurt that I can’t eat because my dad gave them to me. I have a bag of my dad’s favorite cookies that are now like rocks that were made by my mom’s friend for his memorial service. I CAN’T SEEM TO GET MYSELF TO THROW THESE ITEMS AWAY!
I keep telling myself that it’s all garbage. It doesn’t represent my father. Throwing them away is okay… it’s not like by not doing so my father will magically appear. He’s gone.
I really am doing okay. Yes, things got a bit difficult before my birthday. But I am handling it. I just need to throw this food away and go grocery shopping. One small step for man…
All it does is rain anymore. I am so tired of it. Today I had a speaking engagement. I prepared a prezi and was ready to deliver when I was thrown to the audience and told, “Oh, we can’t seem to get connected to the Internet, so just go on without it.” I looked out, smiled, and pulled a speech from out of my ass.
Last night I watched The Strange Love of Martha Ivers. This may sound odd but I never thought of Kurt Douglas and Barbara Stanwyck as contemporaries much less imagined them ever portraying man and wife. Turns out she is only 9 years older than him. I guess I just think of him from the 50’s and 60’s and her from the 30’s and 40’s. Of course to me she will always be Sugarpuss O’Shea from Ball of Fire with Gary Cooper. They don’t make movies like that anymore!
Last year this time I visited Quebec City. Gosh how things have changed since then. Never in a million years would I have thought my life would change so drastically. Craziness.
