Do you remember that movie from the 90’s called Singles? There’s a scene in it where Brigitte Fonda’s character opens up the refrigerator and finds nothing but a bag of brown salad. She then makes herself the most disgusting salad ever and eats it. WELCOME TO MY LIFE! My dinner this evening was a brown salad. I am back to pickles and triscuits as my main mode of nutrition. This is no way for a 37 year old woman to live.
And here’s something disgusting… I have tons of rotted food in my refrigerator because I CAN’T THROW IT AWAY! I have a grapefruit that came in a fruit basket after my dad died. I have an empty bottle of Pelegrino water and containers of yogurt that I can’t eat because my dad gave them to me. I have a bag of my dad’s favorite cookies that are now like rocks that were made by my mom’s friend for his memorial service. I CAN’T SEEM TO GET MYSELF TO THROW THESE ITEMS AWAY!
I keep telling myself that it’s all garbage. It doesn’t represent my father. Throwing them away is okay… it’s not like by not doing so my father will magically appear. He’s gone.
I really am doing okay. Yes, things got a bit difficult before my birthday. But I am handling it. I just need to throw this food away and go grocery shopping. One small step for man…