I signed up for eHarmony on Sunday. They immediately started sending me profiles of potential suitors. In all, I received 56 matches. I closed 13 of them due to height issues. If I wanted to date Hervé Villechaize, I’d find a shovel. Is that closed-minded? Whatever. I don’t care. For what it’s worth, I actually closed a couple matches because they were musicians. Been there, done that. Tired of always being #2 to a guitar. Is that closed-minded? Whatever. I don’t care.
Of the 43 matches, I am currently communicating with 11. Of that 11, I have emerged from the questions phase with 2. Of the 2, I have talked with one on the phone and I arranged to meet him tomorrow. He lives about an hour away from me. When I said, “You are an hour away,” he replied, “Look, I am okay with the distance. I am looking to find a mate. I don’t expect it to take more than a couple months for us to figure out if we’re meant to get married.”
“One second please.” I put down the phone and turned a somersault. “So, what are you doing tomorrow?”
It’s going to be odd. No doubt about it. I feel okay, though. I think I am coming out of the anger tunnel. I am beginning to realize that I can’t have it both ways. The old relationship is over. And it’s not important for him to apologize or do the right thing. And clearly, “doing the right thing” in my mind is not something he can do or wants to do or knows how to do. And that’s okay. I am getting over it. I understand it’s over. When I think of it like this, I feel better. And I gotta stop blogging about it. It’s not right.
Tomorrow I am going on a date!
Good luck!
The Plane! The Plane!
Sounds like a good plane…er, I mean plan, to me. But the 2 month period sounds far too short. In my well-educated opinion (I’m single, so what the hell do I know?) you probably need to invest between 6 to 12 months auditioning before you take the part. How much do really know about a person after 2 months? NOT MUCH. Be careful and good luck!
I don’t know… I suspect 3-6 months should be fine. Of course I just spent 5 years with someone and they totally surprised me so who the heck knows! I was just happy to hear that this guy is interested in marriage right out of the gate and he respects my time.
I won’t say “good luck”. I will say “have fun!” Rushing leads to settling, fun leads to more fun
Yay Donna! I’m so proud of you–not for dating, but for finding the strength in yourself to push forward and get out of your comfort zone. You did it with your work life, and now this. You are such an amazing person. This guy is one lucky chump for having the opportunity to go out with you!
Chump?
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/chump
Signed,
Your friendly nit-picking chimp
It’s hard to measure how much time is “right” to invest in a pre-marital relationship. But isn’t it better to err on the side of caution….after all, you’re talking about spending THE REST OF YOUR LIFE (theoretically) with one person. Let that sink in. (I see the strewn wreckage of other people’s relationships all around me).
You are correct B.Davis but I can’t help but feel that when the person is right they are RIGHT. And you should know that pretty quickly. I can’t help but feel that the whole spending 5 years with Pookie was a huge sign that it wasn’t right. I don’t intend to go down that path again. With that said, I am just going out with some dude. Who knows what’s going to happen? I just wanna have FUN!
Oh, and just in case you didn’t know this but donnaville is a BARBRA STREISAND FREE ZONE! There are many with severe allergies to La Streisand and I cater to those individuals.
I think it’s pretty easy to tell when someone is NOT right for you (like in the first 10 minutes), but a lot harder to tell when something is exactly right for you. That’s when you ask 10 friends “What do you think about him?”. Isn’t that the female way of choosing a mate? Getting a consensus? BTW…I knew you’d hate that B.S. link, that’s why I included it 🙂
And that’s why I’m including another one of B.S.’s expert opinions about relationships (but I promise this is the last):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9yepsv842U
Alright, that’s enough already. Anymore, and I’ll turn into a kvetching Marxist.
you get him grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Yeah, B. Davis, so what’s your nit-pick? They’re all chumps–one lesson my daddy taught me early on. 😉