We got through it. So many people attended. It was really very nice. There is a lot of kindness in this world. It was odd at the end, gathering all the pictures and picking up my the box that held my dad’s remains and driving home. The box was so much heavier than I ever imagined. I am not looking forward to actually opening up the box. Will his gold tooth be there amongst the ashes and other.. stuff? I guess there is still time to warm up to that concept. Who knows when we will actually get to the shore… not this weekend, I can’t do it now. Maybe in a week or two.
My dad was such a big man, physically, mentally, and in personality. His absence is huge. I simply don’t have the words to describe what I am feeling. All I am doing is crying which is silly since tears can’t bring him back.
It all seems like a dream in one respect. I remember going through it first with dad then mom and it’s almost an out of body experience. It’s life changing in so many ways. I think now of my days before their passing and then after as almost two different lives in many respects. I know I hated hearing this, but that old saying that time will heal all. It’s true, time will heal the pain, but never a day will go by that you won’t miss him. Now we all tell stories and laugh at the funny things they did or we did together. Time may heal, but your memories will last your lifetime. God bless sweetie.
There’s nothing silly about crying. Let it all out. It’s a healthy thing to do, and your mind, body, and spirit will eventually know when it’s time to move on. There’s a time for everything, and it’s time to cry.
Ecclesiastes 3:1