How old do you think a woman needs to be in order to be labeled a cougar? I thought late 40’s, or 50’s. Turns out, I’m a cougar! 35! Of course I need to be preying on young men to truly earn the esteemed title. Still! 35?!? It’s like a clueless 17-year-old came up with the definition!
It gets worse folks. I was told I could be in movies… playing the part of a soccer mom! It amazed me the crash I felt in my heart wasn’t audible. All I know is the days keep piling on. One after the other.
Most people consider a “cougar” to be a beautiful, sexy, and mature woman. A desirable woman —- think Demi Moore. What’s not to like? Of course, a cougar also likes getting laid. Remember that line from the classic poem Desiderata about “surrendering the things of youth”? You will eventually raise the white flag, but before you do, stock your cabinets with scotch, gin, and whisky, and then ponder this old-school brand of country and western existentialism:
Here is some very flaky Gomer philosophy for you to reflect upon:
A peach ripens itself in the sun every day, even as it is able to hide from the soil the fact that it has a pit. Tumbled from the tree by a wind of change, it is a revelation to find that the pit is what the soil wanted all along.
Gomer the allwise has spoken.
I think that the “Cougar” phrase was started by 20 somethings and to them that means just about any woman older, but typically 30’s and 40’s. Definitely not 50’s though. I think you are still a bit young to be labeled a soccer mom. Definitely not a soccer mom, but a Cougar? Yes, if you are going after some 20 year olds. But if you are going after someone my age (late 40’s) then I think they call you desperate. 🙂
I think you have a couple of years before you could qualify as a cougar. I consider that dating guys like 20 years younger, and for you that would still be 15. As far as playing a soccer mom in a movie, sure, but remember that’s Hollywood where 30-something actresses play 40-something moms, and early-to-mid-20s actors are playing their teenage children.
Don’t sweat the small stuff…wait until you’re called a coyote.
Gomer, please let me know what you’re smoking.
Sounds like some good stuff to me.
B.D-
2004 Terrabianca Campaccio
By the case
Gomer — you have expensive tastes. I see that a case
of that fancy schmancy vino goes for roughly $324.00.
For that sort of investment you’ll soon be writing New York Times Bestsellers. We all know that Hemingway and Faulkner and a lot of world-famous authors got inspired after popping a cork, so I see only good things in your future.
324.00 a case!?!?! I buy Charles Shaw for 39.00 a case and I feel like I’m splurging! 🙂 (And apparently it’s true, just finished my ebook after many a night of getting smashed on 3 buck chuck and writing until I fell asleep and waking up with the imprint of my keyboard on my face, so does cheap taste = ebook?)
Well, a case of 750 ml wine costs $324.00, but that’s a big ol’ bottle, isn’t it? I know Gomer is either rich or is
joking, but what’s the point in smoking $100 cigars or
eating $100 steaks or drinking $100 glasses of champagne? As my late mom (who wasn’t very life affirming at the time) once said “It all comes out the same”. That’s the kind of sage advice you don’t read in Miss Manners manuals.
Just give me a nice cheap buzz…hell, isn’t that the point anyway? I don’t think Hemingway paid top dollar for his inebriated flights of creativity.
Last year I passed through Omaha and ate steak at Warren Buffett’s favorite steakhouse. Guess what?
It was nothing fancy….just an average looking restaurant with waitresses who called you “honey”.
Warren, the multi-billionaire, knows how NOT to waste money.
Not rich, but not joking. Vino is my passion. I do buy Terrabianca, and much more expensive wine, by the case. I have many wines in my cellar I should not realistically drink for 20 years. Flailing about for rationale is pointless; it makes me feel good and I LOVE wine!
Last night I had a glass of chocolate wine…. it tasted like grape juice mixed with Yoo-Hoo.
Holy O gross Batman! That should not even exist!
I’m passionate about creme brulee and Mexican flan.
Really. The best part of any meal is the ridiculously
priced add-on that makes you slap your forehead
and exclaim “I paid THAT much for dessert????”
I’ll pay $3 for a beer and $10 for dessert.