It started at the end of November or beginning of December, I don’t remember the exact date. Lisa and I were having dinner and I burnt the corners of my mouth. I didn’t even realize the extent of the burn until the next day. The skin cracked and blistered. I didn’t think too much of it. I applied some steroid cream and waited for it to heal. The thing is, it didn’t heal. The cracks and blisters eventually went away but a redness remained. I don’t think anyone even noticed it because I kept that area concealed with foundation. The rash wasn’t sensitive and I would forget that there was even something wrong. That is until I would take my makeup off in the evening and see a red butterfly spreading across my mouth. I continued applying the steroid cream.

After a month and a half, I noticed the rash started creeping down my chin and I finally decided it was time to see a doctor. The doctor diagnosed it as thrush and gave me Nystatin and Triamcinolone and directed me to apply it twice daily. I followed his instructions but after two weeks I still didn’t see any improvement. I called him and he told me the winter weather is to blame and I should be patient and keep rubbing the salve into my skin.

Another 2 or so weeks went by and I noticed the rash crawling into the outside corner of my left eye. I made another appointment and on Friday, I visited the doctor. This time he diagnosed the rash as rosecea.
“Are you sure it’s rosacea? It doesn’t look like rosacea.”
“It’s rosacea, just an unusual form.”
He gave me Metrogel and again told me to apply it twice a day. I applied it Friday evening, Saturday morning, and Saturday evening. By the time I went to sleep on Saturday, my face was bright red and the rash area was raised. Looking at myself in the mirror I was reminded of that Highway to Heaven episode in which Little Joe hears about a monster who lives in the woods but after meeting him learns the monster is really just a young man who has a horrible pink birthmark smeared across his face. Little Joe helped the kid apply makeup to the birthmark and then they went out for a night on the town. They picked up a bunch of supermodels and rode off in a red car. That last part might be a ZZTop video. At any rate, by Sunday I was looking even worse. My skin started to flake off. I tried calling the doctor but apparently if you are still breathing, it’s not an emergency. The doctor avoided me all day Monday despite my multiple phone calls. In a state of panic, I started calling dermatologists. Each one told me that they would be happy to see me sometime at the end of March. I remember muttering something about Ronald McDonald right before I broke down and cried.

On Tuesday I finally reached my doctor and told him I was scaring small children. The doctor made some phone calls and got me an appointment with a dermatologist this morning. Yes, one of the same fellows who told me they could only see me in March. At 9:30 I showed up at the dermatologist’s office. He took a very quick look at me and listened to my long-winded story and then told me I have Perioral Dermatitis. I contracted it because of my prolonged use of topical steroid creams that I used to heal the burns around my mouth. He gave me a new cream to use called Elidel. He also prescribed oral antibiotics. “Don’t expect this to go away any time soon; it takes awhile”. Despite not liking the fact that this may take some weeks to get better, I feel this is the right diagnosis. In fact, my mom had said to me a couple weeks ago that she thought it might be Perioral Dermatitis. I am relieved that I am now finally on the right path.

Quite a story, isn’t it? Well, at least those of you who have seen me over the past few days know what is wrong with my face. And to the rest of you, don’t over do the steroid cream and visit a dermatologist immediately if there is something wrong with the skin on your face. It seems so obvious but I thought I was being smart. Oops.