I WANT YOU TO LISTEN TO ME AND LISTEN TO ME GOOD! I am not going to say this again! I did NOT dream about having sexual relations with that President! These allegations are false!

Andrew Jackson is a different story.

My house is in dire need of some dusting and vacuuming.  I have a hard time motivating myself to clean so what I do is I queue up a bunch of songs on Rhapsody and then I dance around and clean.  It makes it more fun.  I opened up Rhapsody and added a bunch of Tina Turner songs to the mixer.  Private Dancer started to play.  Listening to it, I flashed back to when I was a little girl.  Back then I took the lyrics and video so literally.  “I’m your Private Dancer, a dancer for money, I’ll do what you want me to do.”  I thought this meant she would do the twist or polka or even the hokey pokey, name any dance and TINA COULD DO IT!  And really, thinking about it, why not?  In Pat Benatar’s video, “Love is a Battlefield,” Pat was a teenage runaway who went to the big city and got a job being a private dancer.  She worked at a nightclub where she slow-danced with men for money.  It always seemed strange to me how at the end of the video she and the other private dancers rebelled against their boss.  Even Tina was obviously very sad in her video.  Why were they so upset?  It seemed like such an easy way of making money.  You got to wear crazy clothing with lots of tulle and dance around!  What’s not to like? I figured they were upset because the men they were dancing with were unattractive and had bad breath.  I don’t know when it hit me that dancing wasn’t the only thing on their dance card.   I liken this bolt of clarity to the time I realized Lou Ferigno and Bill Bixby weren’t the same person.

Love is a Battlefield Video:

And here’s the link to Tina’s Private Dancer video.  Embedding was disabled.

I am getting better. I didn’t snort when the Yoga instructor said to relax our butts and crotches.

Here’s a really horrible thing that I hate to admit but I am going to just so maybe I can purge it from my brain: I think my Yoga instructor has fake boobs. Why? They are too big for her frame and too full for her age. It seems so odd to me, being into Yoga and having fake boobs. One would think if a person is into Yoga then they would be into naturalness and not silicone. Or not. Or maybe she just has preternaturally nice boobs. Maybe Yoga helped. All the more reason for me to continue on this path.

Here’s a video of Elvis doing Yoga! (And singing about it too!)

Do you recognize the Yoga instructor? It’s Elsa Lanchester! She is best known as the Bride Of Frankenstein. If you are more of a Beach Party Movie fan like me then you’ll remember her as Aunt Wendy in Pajama Party. She was married to Charles Laughton until he died. I can’t help but wonder about that union. Perhaps it served a purpose to her in some way. Who knows.

Here she is as Aunt Wendy (with Annette Funicello and Tommy Kirk, who shared quite a bit in common with her hubby, Charles) and as Frankenstein’s Bride:

The other day I logged in to Rhapsody’s Online Player and found they had changed the interface. Initially I was excited because the new look was much cleaner but then I found certain functions I used to use were now missing. The Shuffle and Repeat buttons are gone! This means when I queue up a playlist, I have to listen to it from first song to last song. Or if I queue up a couple albums, they have to play in the order I added them. THIS IS RIDICULOUS! I want the songs to play out of order! If I wanted to listen to an entire album song after song, I’d put a vinyl record on my turntable! I contacted Rhapsody support and they have told me with this new version of the Rhapsody Online Player, the Shuffle Repeat buttons have been removed. They may add this functionality back in future releases. I simply cannot fathom how anyone could have okayed the removal of these functions! Perhaps I could see them doing it to cause people to upgrade to a paid subscription account, but I AM A PAYING SUBSCRIBER! Am I wrong to believe that you do not remove functionality from applications? You add to it but you don’t remove core functionality. And if they are going to remove something so integral I think they should refund our money or at least a portion of it. But that ain’t gonna happen. I am really disappointed.

I visited my parents last night. My mom made a DELICIOUS cherry chocolate cake for dessert. She gave me a piece to take home and it’s been sitting in my refrigerator calling to me, “Eat me!” At 11 am this morning I could take it no longer and I gobbled it up. Gosh it was good. My mom knows how to make cake.

After my interview on Friday, I drove to Trader Joe’s and bought a case of Charles Shaw wine. This was my first time at a Trader Joe’s that carries alcohol and so I grabbed a couple bottles of the different 3 Buck Chucks: Cab, Shiraz, Merlot, Chardonnay, and Sauvignon Blanc. I almost wish I had grabbed 2 cases but this way I can figure out what I like and if I ever find myself back there, then I can stock up on what I enjoy. I got a couple other items while I was at Trader Joe’s. I bought a jar of Korma sauce and then that night I cubed a couple chicken breasts, sauteed them and then dumped the Korma sauce into the pan. I served it over Basmati rice. It was really easy and really yummy. I also bought a couple jars of salsa which I haven’t yet tried. As much as I wanted to avoid it, I walked down the chocolate aisle. I found Rittersport Whole Hazlenuts Milk Chocolate bars. On the ride back home I CONSUMED THE ENTIRE BAR! I couldn’t help myself! It tasted like my trip to Germany back in 1997 without the skin infection. And I didn’t mention that the stoned kid at the cash register checking me out was so very nice. He GAVE me a Trader Joe’s shopping tote bag so I didn’t have to buy a plastic bag to lug my groceries. That’s like a 2.00 gift from a stranger!!! That’s going in my Law of Attraction Evidence of Abundance Journal!

I really wish there was a Trader Joe’s nearby my home.

Thank you to all who sent me happy thoughts. Those of you who didn’t, I know who you are and I am keeping my eye on you. The psychic transmission that I promised arrived last night. I know what I sent but I am curious as to what you received. Please feel free to use the comments of this entry to record your message.

In regards to the interview, it went well. I have no doubt it will be offered to me. I just have to figure out if I want it.

Would you all be so kind as to think happy thoughts for me tomorrow (Friday) at around 1:30 EST? You see, I will be interviewing for a job that I think is rather awesome and I could certainly use some psychic backup. I will be happy to reciprocate later in the day and send psychic transmissions to all of you! Just think about it. If you wish to participate, just think happy thoughts at the designated time and then wait for your very own personal psychic broadcast later in the day.

Example of happy thoughts:

Thank you!

Dear Donna,

There’s strong. And then there’s Army Strong.

I salute our military, I really do. I just couldn’t imagine serving. Besides, what is the army doing trying to recruit a 34-year-old woman? They should be out hunting for fresh meat.