It’s time for me to put my two cents in. I’ve been getting tons of emails asking me, “Oh my gosh! Did you know that Trent Carlini, your favorite Elvis Stylist, is on ABC’s The Next Best Thing!” “What’s happened to his face?” “Did he always sound like that?” “He won! Are you happy!”

While it’s true, all these emails came from my mother, I still feel a need to open up and discuss the multitude of emotions I am having over this event.

I first saw Trent Carlini when I was in college. My old roommate, Catherine the Red and I were watching the Vicki Lawrence show one afternoon. The show took place in Vegas and she had a number of Elvis Impersonator’s on, talking and the performing. I remember Trent Carlini taking the stage and singing, The Wonder of You. I had never before seen anyone so completely capture Elvis. I was blown away and I made a mental note that some way, somehow, I would go to Vegas and see Trent Carlini. Years went by, I graduated and started working. I was sent to a Trade Show in Vegas. Rather than go alone, I brought my mom with me. This trip was one of the greatest I had ever been on. I remember very little of the trade show. What I remember was my mom and I going wild! We visited the Liberace Museum, stuffed ourselves at buffets, plunked quarters in any of the caesar slot machines that had pictures of cherries showing (my mom said that was her secret, the thing is, I don’t think we won a cent using that strategy). We went to tons of shows, one of which was FX starring none other than DAVID CASSIDY! We visited Debbie Reynolds’ old hotel and looked at her collection of movie star costumes. Then one evening, my mom said to me, “What should we do tonight?” Just as those words were uttered, a brochure fell out of the magazine I was flipping through. We looked down at the brochure and it was for Trent Carlini performing at the Holiday Inn Boardwalk casino! We bought tickets over the phone that instant and were in the audience within an hour.

That first live experience of Trent was magical. My mom and I were both bowled over! We kept whispering into each other’s ears, “It’s like watching the King!” He’s exactly like Elvis!” I cannot convey the magnetism, the energy, the ELVIS-quality that Trent exuded. It was uncanny.

Years went by and we always spoke fondly of Trent and recommended his show to everyone we knew who were going to visit Vegas. I was sent on several other trips to Vegas and whenever it was possible I would see his show. None of his subsequent performances lived up to that very first one but they were all wonderful nonetheless.

Trent has now really moved up to the big time. He won the The Next Best Thing, a show that pits celebrity impersonator’s against each other. I never caught an episode on TV but have watched a few episodes on ABC’s Web site. Having seen Trent just last April in Vegas, I knew he has some plastic surgery performed but seeing him on TV, I couldn’t believe the extensiveness of it. His face is entirely plastic looking. He didn’t need any surgery too look like Elvis (He already did) — I can only conclude he is trying to make himself look younger. His performances on the show were fine, I guess I just had a hard time accepting his new look. He is now clearly wearing a wig and his face looks odd. I am happy that he won the competition. I just wish he didn’t have to change his face.

It is true, Trent. You look different.

And here’s the real Elvis:

Do we have a match?

After my business event yesterday, I took a couple customers out for drinks and appetizers. We called it quits around 10:45. I looked at my train schedule and the next train was at 10:51. There was no way in the world I would ever make it. The next train would arrive at 11:51! So I spent time with a group of homeless women who were washing their feet in the bathroom of Market East Train Station and then I stood by the tracks and waited for my train. I got home around 1 am.

The event was a success. There was a nice crowd of people and the panel discussion went well, despite the near fight that almost broke out. I did a pretty good job monitoring the panel, I must say! Standing up there, facilitating the discussion, I couldn’t believe it. I am just a little Humanities Major (with a concentration in Women’s Studies and a minor in German Literature). What the heck was I doing up there? I guess it just comes down to everything in life is just one big game of Make Believe.

I awoke from the sound of my alarm. I stayed in bed for some time, enjoying the lack of pain in my mouth. I am guessing the pills I took last night are working OR the pain subsided on its own. Last night I got most of the stuff I needed to accomplished. I epliated my legs– like a thousand bees descended onto my legs in a mad fury of activity. I do it because I find when I shave, the hair grows back almost instantaneously. When I epliate, I get a good hour of depilation. Now I have to get myself the rest of the way ready. Right now I am considering not bothering with makeup and doing it at work right before the event. That way I look less like Tammy Faye (Good luck to her in heaven!). I hate putting makeup over old makeup. Okay, I can no longer avoid this any longer. I MUST GET READY! (Is it obvious that I am not really interested in smiling and networking tonight? I shouldn’t have made all those doctors appointments, I think I am wiped out from them. Oh well, this is not something I can avoid so I must do what I do when faced with a situation I am not crazy about– pretend I want to do it and eventually my head starts to believe it)

My tooth hurts! IT HURTS! Oh dear lord make this pain go away! I took two IB Profins and I am just waiting, hoping the pain will subside. I said to Dr T last week when I was making the appt, “I can’t be in any pain because I have business the very next day in which I must be at 100% of my game.” He said I would be fine, I would have no pain. LIAR! And why is my top lip still numb? The one area that I am sure should be painless is the one area that is holding the Novocaine.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Yesterday I spent the evening at the eye doctor. I plunked down 105.00 for the exam and 260.00 for my new contacts. Apparently, my insurance only covers 1 visit per 2 years!?! Ugh. My eyes have been a little drier than usual and I’ve been a little worried ever since my saline solution was recalled. I was expecting the worst yet the optometrist said my eyes are perfectly fine– as long as you don’t count my astigmatism and myopia.

This evening I spent at the dentist. Yes, I am trying to get myself fixed up. I’ve been walking around like a car with its bumper falling off. So I went to the dentist and he drilled out two cavities and filled them with some dark substance. Right before he started to drill he asked me, “You want Novocaine?”

“What do you think?”

He got out a nice long needle and shoved it deep into my jaw. The right side of my face went numb and he commenced with the drilling. I kept my eyes closed the entire time because it bothered me to see the spittle and chunks of tooth spraying from my mouth and hitting Dr. T in the face. I tell you, when he dies, he is going straight to heaven. About halfway through, he said to me, “Damn girl, you got a big mouth! Although not as big as your mother’s.” I had a feeling he said that to all his patients.

Tomorrow I have an evening business event. I’ve spent the last couple of weeks working on it. It should go well. Of course, I am not looking forward to staying out all night. And I really need to start preparing for it right now. I need to epilate my leg hair, remove my toenail polish and apply a new fresh coat. I really must exfoliate and moisturize my heels and find the dress I want to wear. I also need to pluck my eyebrows. Ugh!

I had a moment of pure bliss early this morning. I found myself trying to get up and having no luck whatsoever. There was no way I could pull myself out of bed! I need another couple hours of sleep! My alarm clock sat in a haze a foot from my face. I tried to focus in on it. Slowly it came into focus. 3:30am. 3:30AM!?!?!?! I was premature! My alarm never went off! HAPPINESS! I ducked back, deep into my covers and fell deliciously back to sleep. Unfortunately at 5:30 the alarm went off and I had to get up. Off I go!

XM radio flashes the name of the song and band/singer as it plays. So many songs I have loved yet I never knew the name of the singer or band. Apparently I am a huge 3 Dog Night fan and just never realized it. Who knew they played all those songs? And this is a little embarrassing but I also LOVE Paul Anka circa 1970s. For the last weeks I just keep singing, “Well you’re having my baby! I’m a woman in love and I love all the things about you baby!” Yeah, I sing both parts of the duet. My one beef with XM is that I wish they would stop playing that song, In the year 2525. I liked it as a kid but I simply can’t take it now. AND THEY PLAY IT ONCE A DAY. My other beef is that Terry “Motormouth” Young is the sloppiest DJ. He is constantly talking over commercials or mixing things up. I hope he’s just an old retired DJ they brought out of retirement or he’s a DJ that was in a horrific car accident and he’s slowly getting back on his feet.

I had a really nice weekend. The weather was extraordinarily wonderful. On Friday evening, Rob and Steve and Caren collected me at the train station and together we went to the Mann to see the Philadelphia Orchestra perform. We sat on a blanket in the 10.00 section which is akin to tailgating except it’s with STYLE and PIZZAZ! You should have seen the baskets and meals! Shrimp, Sushi, Borscht! People eating on tiny wooden tables with table cloths and china! And then there was us. Sitting on a tarp, drinking beer and eating from a can of pringles. Heck, I LOVED it! The stress from Friday quickly disappeared with each sip of beer and pringle chip. The orchestra sounded pretty, I am no connoisseur so they could have been doing the works of Zamfir and I wouldn’t have minded. I spent most of the time, looking up at the stars. I saw a bright, huge, golden-star shoot across the sky; it was very lovely.

The next day Rob and I did nothing but putz around the farm. We were both affected by the hay the new farmers are now harvesting. Regardless, we sat outside and just enjoyed the atmosphere. It is very soon over. As soon as August arrives, the farm will become a distant memory. So sad. I truly love it there and will miss it terribly.

Saturday night, we went out again with Caren and Steve. We went to a rather fancy restaurant. It was in celebration of Steve’s new job. There was a woman standing very close to our table and she wore a teeny tiny miniskirt. She lifted her leg to place it on a step and … WE SAW THAT SHE WORE A THONG! I think that means the skirt was too short. Caren also pointed out a woman who was wearing a brown dress and her boobs were practically falling out of it. I wonder if women nudge each other and judge me? I doubt it; at least not since I discovered Nippits!

The first day of the new week didn’t start out too bad. I’m getting back to kicking ass and taking names. All will be fine.

I am absolutely intrigued by this article, Summer Express: 101 Simple Meals Ready in 10 Minutes or Less.

The Minimalist
Summer Express: 101 Simple Meals Ready in 10 Minutes or Less
By MARK BITTMAN
Published: July 18, 2007
With a little imagination and some swift moves, you can turn any dish on this list into a meal that not only will be better than takeout, but won’t heat you out of the house.

I can’t tell you how many times I walk through a grocery store and just wonder, “What can I make for dinner?” I usually go with the old standbys but it’s getting boring and I need new, easy dishes. I love how these are just one sentence recipes. Anything more than that intimidates me. I will give one or two of them a go and see what happens.

Check out what I just found on Slashdot:

An anonymous reader writes to let us know that a new X-Files movie is in pre-production, directed and written by Chris Carter and starring David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson. Duchovny said in an interview that his understanding is that filming will start in November for a summer 2008 release. The article notes that in an earlier interview, Anderson said the film “would stay away from the series’ (and first film’s) sometimes tortured mythology” (quoting the article, not Anderson).

I AM ALREADY GIDDY IN ANTICIPATION!