Yes, it was a nice birthday. Almost made turning another year older not so terrible. We went to the Turkish Restaurant and I ordered coban kavurma (I just love the way that sounds!). For dessert, we came home and had Heath Bar Crunch ice cream cake. Lisa presented me with the first season DVD of La Femme Nikita and a peppermint patty. When my mother brought out the ice cream cake, she said: “The different candles have different values– you see the 2 white candles equal 10. The blue candle equals 5 and the pink candles each stand for….” I told her I didn’t want to hear any more.
After the cake, Lisa and I went to New Hope and sat at Havanna’s outside bar, and drank Michelob Ultra (2.6 carbs!). The bartender gave me a shot of tequila. I slept so good last night I may make a shot of tequila a part of my nightly ritual.

*bonus points if you know where “My name is Zoom” comes from.

…and I came down to earth just to sing you this tune!

I received birthday cards from The Gap, Bigfoot, and eHarmony! Gap even included a 20% off coupon– (Upon receiving this lovely present, I drove to the nearest Gap and bought $100.00 worth of sweaters!). Thank you, Gap!
My dear friend Erin took me to lunch at Oishi Japanese Restaurant for sushi! It was lovely. We reminisced over old times and wondered how is it possible that only yesterday we were running around middle school stalking our old Art teacher and now we are so very, very old!
Tonight my parents are taking me to one of our favorite restaurants, aptly named, The Turkish Restaurant. I will most likely order coban kavurma, which is lamb or veal kebab (not sure which, might be both) with onion, green pepper, mushrooms, tomato, and rice. It is delish! I can’t wait, even though I am still stuffed full of sushi.

I am another year older.

Charles Bronson is dead. After I linked to an article that mentioned his loved ones were called to his deathbed to say their final goodbyes, my mother jokingly said…”Did they contact you?” It is true, I am a huge Charles Bronson fan. I just really, really liked his craggy face and the characters he played… especially the characters prior to the Death Wish series. One of my favorite movies back when I was a teenager was Lola. Charlie starred as a 38-year-old writer who falls in love with and marries a 15- year-old English girl portrayed by Susan George. (Get it… Lola!) Watching Lola at 15, it seemed so desirable… watching it now, I can’t shake the feeling of pedophilia. The role I fell head over heels in love with him was not Lola but The Sandpiper. He wasn’t the lead, that went to Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor. Charlie portrayed a beatnik artist. My favorite scene was when Richard Burton, playing a priest, stumbles upon Elizabeth Taylor posing nude for Charlie as he carves her likeness in wood. I haven’t seen the movie since the mid-eighties; I wonder if I would still like it? It is funny how one’s taste changes through the years. Well, at least one thing stayed constant– my liking of Charles Bronson. RIP

This morning I hung out at CVS. Why? Well, I was there last week and I saw a nice looking man who seemed to like me. He smiled and walked by me a few more times than was necessary. But because I was with my mother and carrying a box of O.B.s, I didn’t feel particularly courageous. I just stood there and thought, why does this happen to me? So this morning, I figured I would go down to CVS and maybe I would see him again and this time I wouldn’t have my mother or a box of O.B.s with me and I might be able to manage a smile and a “Hi, weren’t you here last Sunday?” Apparently I was the only one with the thought because he wasn’t anywhere at the CVS. Oh, well. It was an act of desperation but at least I am proactive. When I am lying on the floor, near death, 70 years from now, with my cats huddled around me, hungrily tearing the flesh from my brittle, lonely bones, certain that no one will find me until the bank sends the bill collector, I can look back at my life and say… at least I went to the CVS in hope that I might get another chance to flirt with that nice looking man without a wedding ring.

I have lost weight. It’s been a long time coming. Over the winter I typically add 5 lbs to my frame and then comes summer, and it disappears. This year, the disappearing fat did not take place. Because it is only 5 lbs, I didn’t worry too much about it. Then in Florida, I met up with 3 colleagues who had just lost a ton of weight. They each did it using the Atkins approach. Lisa, who is always looking for a new diet, decided this might be the one that could work for her. Wanting to be supportive, I promised her I would also change my food intake. This way, she wouldn’t see me eating bread and feel as if she was missing out. So a week ago we started to cut down on our carbs. I really didn’t do much other than replace my morning bowl of oatmeal with a hard boiled egg and the bagel I would have for lunch with whatever meat, egg, cheese meal I could find. I got on the scale this morning and I am 6 lbs lighter. About 5 years ago, right around the time I graduated from college, I went on the Suzanne Sommer’s diet and I lost 20 lbs, (taking me to my present weight, minus 4 lbs). I remember at the time, my mother and Lisa were terribly worried about me. “You look anorexic and sickly” they said. I wasn’t anorexic; I was just separating my carbs and proteins in the Suzanne Sommer’s tradition. Well, it was at this point of my weight loss that something peculiar happened. Men started hitting on me. I would walk down the street and guys would stop and say “Hi,” and flirt. It was surreal and nothing like I had ever experienced in my life. Monitoring my appearance in the mirror, I started to agree with Mom and Lisa. I was too thin. So I started eating a little more and I gained a little weight. As soon as the weight went on and I began looking healthy, the men stopped blatantly hitting on me. It was right then I developed a theory. You see, having observed 100s of couples, I noticed that most men have what appears to be an innate need to pick their girlfriend up and spin her around. Because I stand 6 feet in height, the liklihood of a man being able to pick me up and spin me around (without my feet dragging on the ground) is not very good. This immediately nixes me as a potential mate. Now, when I was emaciated, the ability to pick me up and spin me around became greater. No longer fearing I might break their back, I became mate material. If my weight loss continues, I may start looking sickly again. I can’t help but wonder if my theory will hold true. I expect to have a date or two next week from the eHarmony matches. I’ll let you know if one of them spontaneously picks me up and spins me around. We shall see!

Just wanted to make it public and say that Kathy from BlogMoxie installed Movable Type and did a great job! If you are interested in going the Movable Type route and don’t have the experience to install it yourself, give BlogMoxie a try– I recommend them!

Wow! So this is Movable Type. I feel like I have moved up another level in blogdom. At the moment I have no idea what to make of half of this stuff. Bear with me as I try to get this figured out.

Donnaville Version 1.0 is still here.. just go on over to here to read past archives.

Wie heisst George W. Bush mit Vornamen? This is hysterical! Thanks Aaron!
So, who thinks this is Photoshopped?

With September quickly approaching and my eHarmony subscription about to expire, something had to be done to salvage this experience. I was no longer getting matches and the money I paid for the service seemed lost forever. Perhaps the reason I was unmatchable had not so much to do with me as a person but rather with me taking the personality test late one night, after an evening of drinking. I wrote eHarmony’s Customer Service Department and asked them to reset my personality test. The bastards ignored me. So I wrote a second time:

Hello Dolly!
This is my second email regarding my personality profile. I would like to take the personality test again in the hope that the results will resemble my true personality as well as attract some type of man since I have been on since June and have received practically 0 response. I understand being hesitant in allowing people to re-take their profile test BUT I AM A PAYING CUSTOMER WHO HAS RECEIVED NOTHING FROM THIS SERVICE. HUMOR ME! Let me re-take the test before my subscription runs out.
Using capitals worked because they quickly reset my profile. Sunday evening, I took the test. This time I made an effort to avoid the extreme. On a scale of 1-7, how frugal are you? My answer before, 7. My answer after, 5. The other strategy I employed was to act as if it WASN’T a job interview. On the earlier test, I scored myself high on ambition, aggressiveness, etc… This time I divorced the concepts from career and applied them to life in general and I think I came across more accurately as well as less bitchy. So, did it work? The morning after the test, I had 4 matches. By that evening I had 2 requests for communication and this morning found 3 more matches in my inbox. Having been around the block a few more times than I would like to admit regarding online matchmaking, I am aware that a request for communication means nothing. Regardless, I now feel as if I am getting something for my money and that maybe, just maybe, I will find someone who will call me back after the first date. Wouldn’t that be nice?