Category Archives: Blah Blah Blah

This is my default category and consists mainly of my mundane ramblings.

Bo Bo Black Sheep

Elvis and dogMr. Bo isn’t doing too well. He fell down the stairs the other day and now his knee cap keeps popping out. My sister seems to think that he’s on his way out.

Since Jimmy was born, Bo hasn’t been much in my thoughts. He’s underfoot when I’m at my mom’s house and I ignore him as I dote on Jimmy.

Each time Lisa tells me how Bo is just creeping along, I can’t help think of my dad. It was just a few months prior to his own death my father confided in me that he hated to see Bo get old and eventually die. “Chins live only 10 years on average and Bo is 8 years now. I can’t imagine him not in our lives, that silly dog.”

And then just a few months later, my dad keeled over dead. Bo outlasted him.

Lisa picked Bo. It was between Bo and his lemon colored brother. Bo won because he snuggled into her chest and looked up at her adoringly. It also helped that he had the cutest little snot bubbles protruding from his nose that made Lisa giggle.

Bo sat on my lap as Lisa drove the 3 hours home. Holding that little pup, he fit in the palm of my right hand; I just kept thinking, “I will make sure you are safe and well-cared for… you will live a good life, little puppy.”

I can proudly say that I kept my word.

Bo isn’t gone yet and I absolutely hope he is on the mend and not going anywhere for quite sometime. He is a good, silly dog.

Mr Bo, the best Japanese Chin

7 Months & Life Goes On

Elvis is bored by meMy son is ALMOST 7-months-old. It’s funny how time passes. For so long he seemed stuck in development. Nothing more than a slightly animated face. I think it was around month 4 that things started to change. He began to react more and he sat up on his own. Today, he’s trying his darnedest to crawl and I have no doubt in a few weeks he will definitely be mobile.

He is such a happy baby. He’s always smiling and giggling. I dance around with him in my arms and he throws his head back and laughs. Does he sleep through the night? Sometimes. And when he does it’s a beautiful thing. More often than not he will either wake up at 1:30 or 4:00 am. At 1:30, I try to rock him back to sleep and return him to his crib. At 4am I bring him into bed with me. He snuggles in and falls fast asleep. I don’t sleep but instead I stare at him, feeling grateful. For the longest time I fought bringing him into our bed. But then I remembered how I felt as a little girl, when my mother embraced me. It was so comforting and I felt safe and loved. I want Jimmy to feel all those things. And so, I let him snuggle in.

It was end of April that we moved into our new home. It was beginning of May that I asked our realtor to put Eddie’s old house up for sale. I had such a feeling that it would take months and months before we’d find an interested buyer. Especially since my gorgeous condo languished on the market for months and months. What chance would Eddie’s fixer upper that was never fixed up have? Within 5 days our realtor found a buyer. Twenty days after that we closed the deal and walked away with just one mortgage. Talk about blessed!

I feel like we are finally in the swing of things here. The house is painted and carpeted. Jimmy is baptized. All the things we were trying to get done are done. I think I am ready to start at a gym. I want to do some aerobic exercise to clear my mind and get myself back into some sort of shape. I am only about 15 pounds away from my goal weight. Yes, I do curse all the mint chocolate ice cream I indulged in during pregnancy. Whatever. It is what it is. I’ve lost weight before, I can do it again.

What else? I don’t know. Things are just swell. It’s wonderful. I am living my dream.

New Year’s Resolutions 2014

Presley And DateNot sure if it’s possible to top year 2013. In one year, I met my soul mate, got married, and gave birth to a baby boy. I also published the second edition of my book and watched my business grow and expand.

Believe me, it’s not all ice cream and sunshine. I am still struggling to sell my condo and Eddie and I are living in less than ideal conditions… but we are happy and I know that soon enough we will find someone who wants my place and from that equity we will buy a beautiful home for us to live.

Looking ahead to 2014, there are things I want to work on and improve.

Here are my resolutions for 2014.

2014 New Year’s Resolutions

1. Stop investing so much time into Facebook. Instead, read more books.

I have quite a library of books on Kindle that I haven’t read. Instead of reading books, I scroll through my Facebook newsfeed, wasting time. No more! I want to read books and actually have a intellectual return on my time investment.

2. Get this new house livable OR find a new house to buy

Ed was in the process of buying this house during the first few weeks of us dating. The house was a perfect size for him and his daughters. But that was okay… we were just dating and I had my own place to live. But then I became pregnant and suddenly it’s not just him and his daughters but now me and Jimmy too. It’s cramped and the appliances are old. In some ways I love the Midcentury Modernness of the house. I queue up Frank Sinatra on the stereo and not only am I listening to the 50’s and 60’s but I’m living in it too. In other ways, I just want a kitchen and bathroom that works and a closet of my own.

And so my resolution is to SELL MY CONDO AND THEN either find a way to make this house comfortable but if that is not possible, we need to find a new house that is comfortable. That means I need to hire an architect and see what it would take to renovate this place while keeping my eye on the real estate listings.

3. In terms of work, I want to spend as much time with Jimmy as possible.

I want to do more writing, videos, and speaking engagements and less day to day management of the business and less low paying consulting work. I also want more positive publicity… like appearing on the Today Show or CBS News Sunday Morning. Lastly, I want to keep growing this business. I want to add value, educate, and inspire!

4. Get back to my old size.

Pregnancy wasn’t too kind to my body. I need to lose 30 pounds. I want to get back to my old size and shape so I can wear my old clothes and feel good about myself.

And so that’s it. As long as I keep these goals front and center, it should be pretty easy to accomplish them… right?

New Year’s Resolutions 2013 Revisited

Every year, I post my New Year’s Resolutions and then 12 months later, I review my progress.

New Year’s Resolutions for 2013

Here we go! How did I do?

1. Meet men and date

Failure & Success

This resolution was a failure only in that I did not meet men.. plural. On January 8th, I called a man from eHarmony. He had a lovely deep voice and I remember thinking he sounded normal and well adjusted. On January 11th, we met for drinks and potentially dinner at Uno’s. I got there first and sat in the glass enclosed entrance area waiting for him. Within a few minutes a tall, handsome man walked in and I thought, “What a good looking man, I wish he was Ed… but this man is clearly married… just wait… his wife and two kids will walk in behind him.” He made eye contact with me and smiled and I quickly looked away, embarrassed that he caught me checking him out. Then the oddest thing happened. He approached me and said, “Donna? I’m Ed.” We walked in together and spent the next 4 hours talking nonstop. We even ordered dinner. Fast Forward… April 1st we learned I was pregnant. Sometime in June, Ed officially proposed with a ring. October 12th we got married. December 6th I gave birth to our son Jimmy.

And so I didn’t meet men and date… but instead I met my soul mate, got married, had a baby and created the family I always wanted.

2. Exercise and eat healthy

Failure.

I didn’t exercise anymore than usual— and although I ate a bit healthier because I was pregnant most of the year, I also ate an awful lot of ice cream… it was this strange craving I had throughout my pregnancy. Anyone who knows me personally should at this point say… “But Donna, you ALWAYS have that craving!” True but normally I can resist it, pregnancy, on the other hand, rendered me unable to resist.

3. Travel

Failure.

I didn’t travel. We went to Cape May on our honeymoon. I don’t consider a two hour car ride travel. We also headed to Wildwood a couple times. Again, I wouldn’t consider that travel.

4. Make House Comfortable

Success and Failure.

Okay, so this is interesting. I hired painters and had them paint over the boring white with Benjamin Moore’s Smokey Taupe. I threw away old clothes and items that kept me clinging to the past. I took down pictures that depicted single women and replaced them with a painting of a happy couple. I really went to town. And in some ways I think the work I did helped me change my outlook which allowed me to connect with Ed.

So how is this a failure?

My house is now for sale and I am living with Ed in New Jersey in a VERY UNCOMFORTABLE HOUSE. It’s too small and very old and outdated. The thing is, I am okay with the cramped conditions… I am with Ed and Jimmy and that makes me very happy.

5. Keep my business forging ahead

Success.

We did amazingly well.

And so…?

2013 was truly the best year I have ever experienced. The last two years were so difficult. 2011 my father died and the man I thought I loved left me. 2012 I worked hard and tried to recover but all I did was make stupid mistakes and struggle. But then came 2013. I met my soul mate, got married, became stepmother to two girls, and gave birth to James Richard. And not only am I happy but my mom and sister are over the moon! My mom is finally a grandmother, my sister an aunt.

Life is good.

And so what about 2014? Resolutions will be posted soon!

Stick a fork in me, I’m done!

Baby Jimmy is due December 7th. If he decides not to come on or before the 7th, I’m scheduled to be induced on Tuesday, December 10th.

I am ready.

I can’t wait to have Jimmy out from inside me. I can’t wait to lose the belly and get back to my old size. And I am ready to become Jimmy’s caretaker. Yeah, I am scared sh*tless over the responsibility of it. The sheer amount of effort. The change in focus from myself to my son. But it’s time. I’ve spent 39 years concentrating on me. And it’s gotten rather boring. It’s time to change things up.

How I am going to do it, I have no idea. I thank God for my support system. My mom and sister and my husband and his daughters will all help out. Plus, if I am truly terrible at it, I can always hire a nanny to help out.

I really wish he’d come sooner rather than later. I am tired of this limbo land. Everything is on hold, waiting for Jimmy’s arrival. I can’t even say I am enjoying the last vestiges of my old life because this current life is not at all my old life. I am fat and swollen and constantly tired, constantly peeing, never drinking, rarely moving, horribly dependent and not free or able to do much at all.

Eddie wants to go to a Christmas Party this weekend and I just simply don’t want to be seen in this state. What do I wear? The only thing that fits is a bed-sheet toga and a pair of his sneakers. Not exactly my idea of how I want to be seen.

It was just the other day I had a realization: Jimmy is a rebel. When I first discovered I was pregnant, the doctors seemed to delight in telling me that I needed to be aware that with my age, there was high probability that there would be problems. After tons of testing, everything showed normal. It was two weeks ago, the doctors wanted to induce me because my blood pressure was a little high. After testing, they sent me home. Despite everyone’s predictions, Jimmy continues to do fine. Maybe that’s why I feel very calm. I am not even a little worried. I feel really confident and certain all will be fine.

An April Post

elvis-early-teddy-bear
Two years since my dad died. The anniversary was the 9th. It amazes me how much has changed since that fateful day. And even more major, monumental changes are on the way.

Change is good. I need change.

I’ve been lucky to have had an extended childhood. I lived at home with my parents until I was 29. I spent the last 10 years living in a pretty carefree manner. My thirties have been very much like my twenties except I lived on my own.

Am I ready to put away childish things?

Tamed

elvis-with-foxit was then that the fox appeared.
“good morning” said the fox.

“good morning”
the little prince responded politely
altho when he turned around he saw nothing.

“I am right here” the voice said, “under the apple tree.”

“who are you?” asked the little prince, and added,

“You are very pretty to look at.”

“I am a fox”, the fox said.

“Come and play with me,”
proposed the little prince, “I am so unhappy.”

“I cannot play with you,” the fox said,
“I am not tamed.”

“AH please excuse me,”said the little prince.
But after some thought, he added:
“what does that mean—‘tame’?”

“you do not live here,” said the fox,
“what is it you are looking for?”

“I am looking for men,” said the little prince.
“What does that mean—tame?”

“Men,”said the fox,
“they have guns, and they hunt.
It is very disturbing.
They also raise chickens.
These are their only interests.
Are you looking for chickens?”

“No,” said the little prince.
“I am looking for friends.
What does that mean—tame?”

“It is an act too often neglected,”
said the fox.
“It means to establish ties.”

“To establish ties?”

“Just that,” said the fox.
“to me, you are still nothing more than
a little boy who is just like
a hundred thousand other little boys.
And I have no need of you.
And you, on your part, have no need of me.
To you I am nothing more
than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes.
But if you tame me, then we shall need each other.
To me, you will be unique in all the world.
To you, I shall be unique in all the world. . .”

“I am beginning to understand,”
said the little prince.

“There is a flower. . .I think she has tamed me. . .”

“It is possible,” said the fox.

“On earth one sees all sorts of things.”

“Oh but this is not on the earth!”
said the little prince.

The fox seemed perplexed, and very curious.
“On another planet?”

“Yes”

“Are there hunters on that planet?”

“No”

“Ah that’s interesting! Are there chickens?”

“No”

“Nothing is perfect,” sighed the fox.
But he came back to his idea.
“My life is very monotonous,” he said.
“I hunt chickens; men hunt me.
All chickens are just alike,
and all the men are just alike.
And in consequence, I am a little bored.
But if you tame me,
it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life.
I shall know the sound of a step that will be
different from all the others.
Other steps send me hurrying back
underneath the ground.
Yours will call me, like music out of my burrow.
And then look:
you see the grain-fields down yonder?
I do not eat bread.
Wheat is of no use to me.
The wheat fields have nothing to say to me.
And that is sad.
But you have hair that is the color of gold.
Think how wonderful that will be
when you have tamed me!
The grain, which is also golden,
will bring me back the thought of you.
And I shall love to listen
to the wind in the wheat. . .”

The fox gazed at the little prince,
for a long time.
“Please—tame me!” he said.

“I want to, very much,” the little prince replied.
“But I have not much time.
I have friends to discover,
and a great many things to understand.”

“One only understands the things that one tames,”
said the fox.
” Men have no more time to understand anything.
They buy things all ready made at the shops.
But there is no shop anywhere
where one can buy friendship,
and so men have no friends any more.
If you want a friend, tame me. . .”

“What must I do, to tame you?
asked the little prince.

“You must be very patient,” replied the fox.
First you will sit down
at a little distance from me
-like that-in the grass.
I shall look at you out of the corner of my eye,
and you will say nothing.
Words are the source of misunderstandings.
But you will sit a little closer to me,
every day…”

The next day the little prince came back.

“It would have been better to come back
at the same hour,” said the fox.
“If for example, you came at four o’clock
in the afternoon,
then at three o’clock I shall begin to be happy.
I shall feel happier and happier
as the hour advances.
At four o’clock,
I shall be worrying and jumping about.
I shall show you how happy I am!
But if you come at just any time,
I shall never know at what hour
my heart is ready to greet you. . .
One must observe the proper rites. . .”

“What is a rite?” asked the little prince.

“Those also are actions too often neglected,”
said the fox.
“they are what make one day
different from other days,
one hour different from other hours.
There is a rite, for example, among my hunters.
Every Thursday they danse with the village girls.
So Thursday is a wonderful day for me!
I can take a walk as far as the vineyards.
But if the hunters danced at just any time,
every day would be like
every other day,
and I should never have any vacation at all.”

So the little prince tamed the fox.
And when the hour of his departure drew near—

“Ah,” said the fox, “I shall cry.”

“It is your own fault,” said the little prince.
“I never wished you any sort of harm;
but you wanted me to tame you. . .”

“Yes that is so”, said the fox.

“But now you are going to cry!”
said the little prince.

“Yes that is so” said the fox.

“Then it has done you no good at all!”

“It has done me good,” said the fox,
“because of the color of the wheat fields.”
And then he added:
“go and look again at the roses.
You will understand now
that yours is unique in all the world.
Then come back to say goodbye to me,
and I will make you a present of a secret.”

The little prince went away,
to look again at the roses.
“You are not at all like my rose,” he said.
“As yet you are nothing.
No one has tamed you, and you have tamed no one.
You are like my fox when I first knew him.
He was only a fox
like a hundred thousand other foxes.
But I have made a friend,
and now he is unique in all the world.”
And the roses were very much embarrassed.
“You are beautiful, but you are empty,” he went on.
“One could not die for you.
To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think
that my rose looked just like you
–the rose that belongs to me.
But in herself alone she is more important
than all the hundreds of you
other roses: because it is she that I have watered;
because it is she
that I have put under the glass globe;
because it is for her
that I have killed the caterpillars
(except the two or three we saved
to become butterflies);
because it is she that I have listened to,
when she grumbled,
or boasted,
or even sometimes when she said nothing.
Because she is MY rose.”

And he went back to meet the fox.
“Goodbye” he said.

“Goodbye,” said the fox.
“And now here is my secret, a very simple secret:
It is only with the heart that one can see rightly;
what is essential is invisible to the eye.”

“What is essential is invisible to the eye,”
the little prince repeated,
so that he would be sure to remember.

“It is the time you have wasted for your rose
that makes your rose so important.

“It is the time I have wasted for my rose–
“said the little prince
so he would be sure to remember.

“Men have forgotten this truth,” said the fox.
“But you must not forget it.
You become responsible, forever,
for what you have tamed.
You are responsible for your rose. . .”

“I am responsible for my rose,”
the little prince repeated,
so that he would be sure to remember.

From the Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Things are moving fast…

Hi Mom, Meet ManSo I got on eHarmony in November. Sometime in late December I was matched with a rather unattractive but very tall fellow. On January 8th, I called him and we talked. On January 11th, I met him at Unos Pizzeria and within moments found myself swooning.

Yes, I am aware I am nothing but a human Labrador. Anyone who scratches behind my ear gets my love. I am hoping this is different and it’s not just because he likes me. I think it is different. It feels different.

We have talked to each other almost every day since and seen each other whenever we can. Yesterday I introduced him to my mom and sister. They apparently approve. Of course, they are still not over Big E’s dismissal but I figure if they are able to accept a 6 foot 5, long-haired mechanic with insanely bushy mutton chops, they should be able to accept a 6 foot 5 divorced man with two daughters who works at Bank of America.

BTW, Eddie’s not that unattractive at all! He’s just unphotogenic.

In other news…

Something occurred today. I felt a whiff of spring. I know this is insane since it’s not warm at all but maybe it was the accumulation of daylight… it was 5:00 and not pitch black. I felt a sense of hope… renewal. Warmth is coming. Spring is coming.

Lisa and I went to Florida last week. Just in time for a cold spell. We froze our asses off. Here’s a picture of me in my bikini by the pool:

bikini pic

Despite the coldness, I enjoyed my time in Florida. It was nice just to get the heck out of Dodge.

It’s funny how life just keeps on keepin’ on. I look ahead only to find myself looking behind.

Google Skin Tags

Google Skin TagThis scares me.

I was talking to a friend the other day when I noticed a growth.

“Is that a wart or a skin tag?” I asked.

“Huh, I never noticed it… looks like a skin tag.”

“Yeah, I think it is a skin tag.”

That was it, we moved on to other subjects.

A couple hours later, I went on Youtube and right across the screen was a banner for SKIN TAG videos. Every suggested video was for SKIN TAGS.

Is this just the strangest coincidence ever or is Google now listening to our real world conversations? I am pretty sure my Android phone was in my pocket when I noticed the growth.

New Year’s Resolutions 2013

Today's the day to forgive whomever we haven't forgiven, and ask forgiveness of whomever we know we should ask it of. It's the only way to truly start over...Each year I make a number of resolutions and then at the end of the year I see how I did. Normally I don’t do so well. Last year, I kicked ass. In anticipation of the new year, I’ve spent the last few weeks thinking about new resolutions… this is what I came up with for 2013…

New Year’s Resolutions for 2012

1. Meet men and date
I am not going to lie. I’ve been lonely. I’d like to find a mate. In order to find a mate, I need to get out and intersect with more people. And so, there’s a few things I’d like to do to increase my chances of colliding with a kind, decent, normal man:

  • Although I don’t need to go to networking events for my business like I once did… I am going to get back into going. Mingling with business owners is a good thing.
  • I am going to spend more time alone at Starbucks. Perhaps on Friday afternoons, I’ll take my new Lenovo Twist and write as I sip a Latte.
  • I recognize that the chance of me finding a nice man on eHarmony is not great but it’s better than not being on it. I am going to stay on at least one dating site and take a wait and see approach. If someone awesome reaches out… that’s great.
  • I am also going to go to the gym regularly
  • I will continue to clear space in my home so there’s room for a man.
  • I will forgive Pookie Bear/Rob and move past the hurt feelings. I admit that I have spent an awful lot of time reliving the “too little, too late” proposal and his abandonment and lies right after my dad died. How can I move on to the next chapter of my life when I keep re-reading the old one? Marianne Williamson recently posted on Facebook, “Think of one person who you are tempted for any reason to withhold love from, and pray for their happiness. In that moment your pain will stop.” She also posted, “Today’s the day to forgive whomever we haven’t forgiven… It’s the only way to truly start over.” The answer is clear. I know what I need to do.
  • Lastly, I need to work on being a woman that men want to date. I realize that I am quite protective on that first date… protective and hesitant and I think that turns men off. I need to open up, loosen up, smile, laugh, ask questions, and seem genuinely interested in him.

2. Exercise and eat healthy
Go to the gym at least twice a week. Get out of the house and take walks. Swing that kettle bell. Eat good, healthy food. Perhaps even trade some of that red wine for green tea.

3. Travel
Every freaking year I list travel as a resolution. I’d like to get to the point where it’s just a natural part of who I am and not something that I have to force myself to accomplish. Regardless, I’d like to visit Sedona, Winnipeg, Portland, Seattle, Vancouver, Greece, Italy, and other places.

4. Make House Comfortable
I have made HUGE strides in making my house livable and comfortable. For years I did nothing to my home. I pretty much let if fall down around me. My thought was that Pookie Bear and I would get married and move to a different place so why bother keeping this one up? Plus, I am not one of those decorator types. It seems silly spending time picking out pillows and lamps when we’re just plummeting through space on a huge rock. With that said, I do recognize that my mood is much more pleasant when I am in a nicely decorated, clean space. And so with that in mind, I plan on keeping Alba coming in every other week to clean. I will also get the seams and cracks in the living room fixed and the walls painted. I will make my bedroom an area for relaxation and calm. It’s time to make it into an adult bedroom. Also, I’d really like to work on my kitchen: new floors, fix cabinets, improve lighting, new counter, etc…

5. Keep my business forging ahead
My business is what provides me with independence and the ability to live on my own terms. I have a number of goals for this upcoming year. I want to organize my own seminars. I want to do a monthly Google Hangout, interview/training series. I want to have a real email marketing strategy. I want to produce at least one new vlog a week. I must take my pdf eBooks and convert them to Kindle and start selling them on Amazon. I will amplify my reach… more twitter followers, more LinkedIn connections, better presence on G+, blah blah I also need to create more products. I want more PAID speaking engagements. Ultimately, 2o13 is the year where I will cement myself as an expert in my field and I will help as many people as I can and truly make a difference in their lives.

There’s a lot of resolutions within resolutions here. I feel good though. These are all items that I’ve been moving toward and I have put quite a bit of work into them already. One of the reasons why I did so good on last year’s resolutions is because I kept revisiting them. I printed them up on a piece of paper and I kept it right by my desk. It’s easier to accomplish things when you are often reminded of what you need to accomplish. And so I will print these resolutions out and keep them by my desk.

Considering all the crap that occurred in 2010, 2011 was an awesome year. Prior to my dad dying, I would every now and then think of what it would be like to lose my mom or dad or both of them. The thought of life without them struck fear in my heart. I truly thought I wouldn’t be able to live without them. With my dad gone, I realize now that you have no choice but to go on. It’s not the same without him. I miss him so much but each day gets a little easier.