Sometimes it seems so hard. But it really isn’t. Ultimately, it means nothing. Days wash by, one after the other. What was once important is soon forgotten.
I really need to figure out how I can support myself without killing myself. Undoubtedly my life is easy. I am not doing manual, hard labor. But I am now at the point where I rarely stop working AND YET I can’t seem to get done what I need to get done. I keep taking on more work because I figure I need to make hay while the sun is shining.
I am not looking for any answers– I just need to just figure it out.
In bygone days, your issues would have been addressed
by church and family. Part of your problem is really a societal problem, namely that there’s not a sense of
community that used to exist. You’re entering that
philosophical What’s-It-All-About-Alfie stage of life,
and you’re reaching reasonable conclusions.
I’ve obtained some simple yet valuable insights by listening to “Alfie” by Dionne Warwick and “You Can’t
Always Get What You Want” by the Rolling Stones (existentialist songs, I suppose)…and by watching
Forrest Gump so many times that I’ve almost memorized the dialogue. Keep in mind that Theodore Roosevelt lost his wife AND his mother ON THE SAME DAY…imagine that life-shattering event if you will, but he survived, and thrived, and so will you. Your “problems” pale in comparison to the problems of most people around the world. Keep everything in perspective.
Figuring it out requires answers; so you are indeed searching for that very thing. Your problem, as with most people, is your expectation of the answer. You can never find the answer to such questions by asking more questions; one needs instead to evaluate the “answers” perpetrated on the questioner without ever having asked. It begins by finding out who and where you really are. You know these answers without ever asking a single question. Search yourself without questions, and you may discover the “answer” you seek may have been there all along.
Gomer the allwise has spoken.
@ B.D-
No disrespect intended, but I cringe when I hear someone use the “pales by comparison” argument. If Pain and suffering really is all relative to your particular situation as you imply, the starving child can be admonished for want of food by simply pointing to the starving child who has lost a leg. There are always those worse off than you, even if you’re a starving child living in a slum surrounded by filth. Such comparisons must be made in orders of relevance lest they continue infinitely. NO DOUBT Donna has it better than a starving child in a barrio somewhere else. But could the pure anguish of a millionaire who has lost his wife not equal the anguish at the lack of food by a child in Sudan? Given the deviation from the sufferer’s norm, I’d say it could exceed it.
Gomer, I’m always impressed by your good humor and
thoughtful observations. But there are reasonable
distinctions that can be drawn when talking about
suffering and deprivation. The rich kid who gets
bent out of shape because he didn’t get a new Mercedes
Benz for his birthday isn’t “suffering”, and I am more than happy to point out that fact. I lost a couple of
family members to suicide, and I cringe whenever I hear
anyone even mention the subject. It plants thoughts in the head of the message’s receiver….messages that
can lead to wrong behavior.
I think my issue boils down to a couple of things. I live in an expensive area. Mortgage, taxes, association fees– they all add up, and fast. Couple this with the certainty that our country is at a precipice and if government continues to do what it’s doing, things are only going to get worse. I am trying to make sure that if things slow down, I have enough in the coffers to endure… thus why I refuse to turn down jobs.
Add into this mix an insane work ethic and some business naivety and you may see my issue. I am not suffering. I am just tired. I want a life. I want to live. I want to push away from the computer. I want some freedom.
B.D-
And you Sir would be correct in your thinking about Benz boy. I simply point out that the palliative intentions of telling said brat that he’s lucky he’s not a leper in Tanzania is pointless due to the scale of the inequity. To him, and others who think rationally when told similarly, there is no relevance because they are not uniquely “him”.
I identify with your concerns…in fact, most of them. I think the internet has been both a blessing and a curse, don’t you? TMI. Too much of everything, and everyone now feels as if they’re falling behind. Lots of useful information for sure, but exactly how are 200,000 applications available for a smart phone going to “simplify” anyone’s life (an incredibly bizarre claim made by Verizon and Blackberrry, et all)? Everyday life is rife with examples of nonsensical statements and claims such as these. Example: IHOP’s campaign slogan: “Come Hungry, Leave Happy”. I’m guessing that maybe 1 in 1000 customers at IHOP are actually arriving “hungry”…and judging from the girth of IHOP customers, most of them haven’t missed a meal in 30 years. Donna, YOU HAVE FREEDOM (well, in a relative sense). You just don’t have guaranteed outcomes.
okay
Gomer, your words pack a punch. I’ve thought for awhile that maybe kid should be compelled to
do community service so then they would be able to
see “how the other half lives”. But we live in America
where people (at least as I write this) can’t be forced to
volunteer.
Here’s a bizarre example of perceived “suffering” for everyone to consider…in a fashionable and expensive suburb near Dallas, a mayor killed herself and her daughter because she couldn’t afford the lifestyle they were leading. This mayor with her incredibly warped value system and sense of perspective thought it preferable to DIE and take her daughter with her rather than move to a smaller home and drive a smaller car. That’s how damned status and money-crazy some people have become (especially in Texas):
http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/295601
Donna, please don’t run away and join a cult.
Unless it’s mine.
Baghwan Gomer
Gomer — do you have a fleet of 30 Rolls Royces?
This is going to sound too personal, but here goes…
living alone is not a happy situation for anyone.
A lot of unhappiness is alleviated by having someone
to snuggle up with, and someone to cook for in the
morning. That’s my partly Hallmark, partly Playboy
comment of the day. I can’t believe that someone as
smart and attractive as Donna is alone, but there are a
lot of things I don’t understand.
Guys, I am not depressed! 🙂 I am just trying to figure out how I can make a living in a manner that isn’t overwhelming! 🙂 Besides, I am not alone, I have my Pookie Bear!
I, uh, misinterpreted the meaning of your lamentations.
Have you thought about robbing banks? There’s a career
with adventure, small start-up costs, and the lure of travel. Lots and lots of travel as you evade authorities.
Or just study the life of Bernie Madoff and figure out where he went wrong…what I mean is, figure out how not to get caught!
The only person who can get you a life is you. I’m sure you know that…so do it. Move somewhere it is cheap to live, ply your wares in the closest major city and the internet, drink a glass of wine and be done with it. If poopie bear even exists, give him the ultimatum of marriage (marriage CAN alleviate some financial strain if the spouse is not a bum). If he is not Mr. Right, find the one who is. You could live in this area, as a homeowner, single, and very comfortable on 60k a year. Throw out your 3 buck chuck addiction and you could easily do it on 50k. The point is Nike, just do it. Time is wasting.
Hey, Gomer — just yesterday I read an article about
people “voting with their feet”…that is, there is a never-ending movement from high cost of living, unionized, high tax states to greener pastures. I have lived in Texas most of my life and have seen witnessed the incredible exodus of immigrants from Ohio, Illinois, Michigan, Pennsylvania, etc. to my home state. Since I was in the 7th grade, Texas has added 14 million residents (not including the illegals). That population boom has been a mixed blessing — crime and traffic congestion are the big downside — and sometimes I wish I lived closer to my relatives in Oklahoma or Missouri. And Gomer, I agree that a “long-term relationship” without a ring is wasted time. I should know — I wasted 5 years in a relationship in which the woman wanted marriage and I didn’t. Lost time and opportunity = regrets.
There are lots of qualities worse than being five foot thirteen, gorgeous and hard-working.