Always Skinny

I’ve read a couple different blogs that have stated these Always Skinny jeans from the Gap are insanely flattering. My curiosity is piqued because I can’t imagine skinny jeans being flattering but I’d be willing to try them on to see.

Donna's Doppelganger

Donna's Doppelganger

Yesterday after Boot Camp exercise class a woman came over to me and asked what it’s like to drink 4 milkshakes in a row. I replied, “You have me mistaken for Adam Richman, but no worries, it happens often.”

“No! I want to know what it’s like to be so skinny that you can eat whatever you want!”

I wanted to say to her, “With that attitude you will always be fat!” It’s true, I get strange comments like that more often than society’s propensity toward imbecility should allow. I am not fat because I don’t drink 4 milkshakes in a row. So there!

My bedroom is a huge mess. It’s a mess because of me. I take off my clothes at night and throw them on my window seat. The morning comes and instead of putting the clothes away, I just put on new clothes and leave. Then that night, I repeat the process.

The other issue is I throw my dirty clothes into the corner. And I rarely do the laundry with the frequency that my daily showering requires. Yes, the sheer amount of towels I go through is astounding. Right this very minute I should be putting away all those clothes that are littering my window seat. But instead I am blabbering away.

I don’t know why I HATE putting clothes away. It isn’t painful. And the result is a wonderfully warm happy feeling. So why do I hate putting clothes away? Maybe if I could figure it out I could break through and just do it! Oh, and because there are so many clothes on the floor, I rarely vacuum. Gosh I am a disgusting human being. It’s really just my bedroom that’s the issue. Well, and my office too. I hate opening mail. And so it piles up. I also hate doing dishes. They pile up but not so much because I am scared of bugs and I equate bugs with dirty dishes so I have more of a push to do dishes.

It appears that I hate doing a lot of stuff. I wonder why? Especially as I said before, it’s not like these tasks are painful.

5 thoughts on “Always Skinny

  1. Gomer

    Think of “away” as being size relative. Freshly laundered and neatly folded clothes lying on top of a dresser (as in my own hatred of drawer filling) are “put away” if you consider the scope of your house…or the neighborhood (if need be).

    If your clothes were…say…hanging on the stop sign down the street, or littering the shrubbery of neighbors, then you might be a slob. If not, then compliment yourself on your cleanliness skills, and walk right by that stack of clothes for weeks knowing full well that nobody but you can see the damn things.

    It’s liberating.

  2. rosalie

    Apparently, in a previous life you were wealthy and had a slew of servants to cater to your every wish. Either that or your mother spoiled you?

  3. Audra

    It is the latter for me, Rosalie!! She’s lucky I wipe my own behind at this stage in life. LOL. And Donna, great point about the “milkshake” comment. You’re exactly right! Whenever someone asked Kathy Griffin about how she stays so thin, she says, “I’m hungry and cranky,” or “I’m hungry and bitter.”

  4. B. Davis

    Inscribed on a T-Shirt I saw hanging once in a store window:

    Inside Every Fat Woman Is A Skinny Woman Crying To Get Out.

    Usually A Little Chocolate Will Shut The Bitch Up.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *