I try to tell myself that not all Europeans are assholes but they are slowly, one by one, proving me wrong. Thursday night I went to a fancy soirée. Yes, I was invited. There was a man also in attendance whom I had met a few days prior. We got to talking and I asked him where he was from since he spoke in a thick accent.
“The Ukraine.”
“Where in the Ukraine?” I inquired.
“You’ve never been there, you wouldn’t know.”
“You can’t say that… I’ve been to Bratislava and Humenné and KoÅ¡ice which aren’t that f…”
He interrupted me.
“Yeah and I’ve been to Italy!”
I smiled and said, “It’s been nice talking to you” and I walked away.
He freaked me out because I started to worry that my geography was all messed up. Slovakia is right next to the Ukraine, right? Could I be totally off? I checked Google Maps and they are neighbors. So it isn’t weird that I mentioned those cities trying to show him that I was interested in where he lived because I had been near that vicinity before in my life. Maybe his own geography was off and he thought these places were somewhere in Italy? At any rate, I never learn. I try to be nice and it always bites me in the butt. This is how I wish the conversation went:
“Hello Donna, it is me, Stanislav, you remember me from other day?”
“Yes, go to hell.”
Donna, maybe he just didn’t want to talk about it. He’s here now, so obviously he left the Ukraine. It was probably not a great place for many people. Chernobyl, the economy after the fall of the USSR…
I’m not defending his attitude. I think people should be polite to each other. But one important thing I’ve learned in dealing with perceived rudeness is don’t assume it’s about you. You never know what’s going on within the other person to bring that attitude out.
I agree there might have been something else going on there. But how hard would it have been for him to say, Kiev? Or near Kiev. DONE! And then I would have said, “Lovely wallpaper in here!” And we’d be off on another topic. I just keep bumping into rude Europeans… over and over.
If he were truly Ukranian, would he say he’s from
“The Ukraine”? Does a man from London say he’s
from “The England” or does someone from Paris say
he’s from “The France”? “The Ukraine” is an archaic term….”Ukraine” is the official name of the country.
http://www.infoukes.com/faq/the_ukraine/
Just thought you’d like to know in case you haven’t had your daily requirement of useless (but fun) knowledge with which to beat others over the head.
That is interesting… I hadn’t really given it any thought. This guy’s English wasn’t that good although he’s been here for the last 30 years.
As if anyone cares…
“Ukraine is both the conventional short and long name of the country. This name is stated in the Ukrainian Declaration of Independence and Constitution. Before independence in 1991, Ukraine was a republic of the Soviet Union known as the Ukrainian Soviet Socialist Republic.”
(From Wikipedia)
Ditto wrt B Davis (“The” Ukraine). But seriously you don’t want to make the mistake of “blending” European countries (or giving the impression thereof) because plenty of Europeans have suffered at each others’ hands and they tend to have a loooong memory. Case in point: do not conflate Russians and Ukies unless you want to get a fist in the eye. Many Ukies often seem to be particularly sensitive about Poland too. ???
Yeah, in my mind I am saying, “I am interested in learning more about you and I have traveled am familiar with the region, blah blah…” and this guy is hearing something decidedly different. He clearly had some hang ups and it’s sad.
I think we’re the exception to the rules here in the US
Yeah, I think we are too. It’s just hard to relate. Maybe I’d feel differently if the people of New Jersey came and took over my house and forced me out of my condo and murdered my friends. Instead they are just really bad drivers and their police are like gestapo but they have cheap gas and booze so I put up with the other crap.