I fell asleep early last night. I awoke at 7 to turn on Rockin’ Ron Cade’s Elvis and Friend’s radio show. I fell back to sleep and had kooky ass dreams about Rockin’ Ron. I was in my bedroom but it looked different. The walls were painted red and the floor was black and shiny. I noticed items astray and I opened the door to my walk in closet. Sitting at a little desk was Rockin’ Ron Cade! He and his assistant were broadcasting Elvis and Friends from my closet! I introduced myself to Rockin’ Ron but he wouldn’t answer me. I then realized that during songs and commercials he saves his voice! I tried to talk to his assistant but he too refused to speak even though he doesn’t speak on the show. I suppose Rockin’ Ron was upset that I found him so his assistant escorted me outside. There was a picnic table set up and my mom and all her friends were sitting out there eating from huge plates heaping with asparagus. “Who’s your new friend?” they asked me. I didn’t know his name. “What is your name?” I asked Rockin’ Ron’s assistant. He whispered in my ear, “Raymond.” I suddenly found myself attracted to Raymond. He looked like a grown up Alasdair Gillis from You Can’t Do That On Television. I also loved the fact that he didn’t talk. Not only is he an Elvis lover, he can’t yell or scream or lie or piss me off with his words! Here is the perfect man! Just then, Raymond stole some asparagus from my mom’s plate. What!? I grabbed Raymond by the arm and I said, “Look buddy, there’s plenty of asparagus to go around, you don’t have to steal asparagus from my mom’s plate!” I then awoke.