I am still recovering from 24. What a whirlwind! I have no idea how they can keep up this pace for 20 more episodes!
My ex-colleagues have started calling me. Their messages are all pretty much the same: “Is it true? Please tell me it’s not true! What are we going to do without you?” The answer is the work I did will be assumed by other people. The less important stuff will fall by the wayside. Eventually people will say, “Donna who?” Still, it’s nice that I am getting calls.
Today was a long day. I spent most of it just running around. Almost all of the items on my to do list were accomplished with the exception of “Figure out what to do with cell phone situation.” My old company reimbursed me every month for my cell phone. Now that I am no longer an employee and I am not getting tons of calls, I want to downgrade my service. Sadly, that is not easy. I had AT&T Wireless but they are now Cingular. The only way I can change my plan is if I upgrade to a Cingular plan and the only way to do that is to sign a 2 year contract. The individual plans are all around 40 bucks a month and I think that is far too much money. I could cancel but that will cost me $150.00. If I cancel, I could ask my father to add me to his Sprint family plan which would cost him an extra 10.00 a month. I would of course pay him 1/4 the bill which should be pretty reasonable but I would have to buy a new phone. UGh! All I want is a simple plan that would cost about 20.00 a month and give me about 200 minutes. I have looked at Sprint, Nextel, Verizon, T-Mobile and Cingular but none of them offer any low grade plan. I am also trying to figure out what to do with my home telephone. That was also reimbursed along with my Internet and I am trying to figure out how I can get the service I need without spending an arm and a leg. If I have Internet and cellular, why do I need telephony? This is giving me a headache!
Skype, Vonage, Cellular, Roaming, Long Distance, Toll, Local, Regional — I think I may start a fire.
T-Mobile used to have a perfectly good low-usage plan: 75 minutes weekdays, 500 whenever, $19.95. Apparently they’re not offering it to new customers anymore. (I’ve had this plan for three years now.)
If your broadband connection is reliable enough, you can do without the landline and get VoIP from one of a variety of providers.
No offense, but I believe there’s a simple solution that you’re overlooking. Plain and simple, you need a sugar daddy.
The plan works like this:
(1)Your bills are functionally paid; you’ll get a check every month for US$4871. Use the funds any way you wish. The amount is reviewed annually, and adjusted for inflation, accordingly. There are no 1099’s or W2’s involved.
(2)All of your travel is paid 100%. Travel includes sedan service to and from the Donnaville to PHL, BWI, etc., as required. Flights are generally on United or BA, and may be First Class, Business Class, or Economy Plus, depending on the scenario. On occassion, you may be invited to fly on corporate or private jets. You retain the right to decline flying corporate/private jets, and may, instead, travel commercially, if you so wish.
(3)Most travel is scheduled/planned in several months in advance, though there may be occasssions wherein you’re expected to re-arrange your calendar on short notice.
(4)Events include: dinners at random restaurants in: Boston, Orlando, Chicago, LA, San Francisco, NYC, and, of course, Philadelphia. As a point of reference, when dining in Phila, the predominant M.O. includes restaurants owned by the Starr Restaurant Organization. Cheesesteaks from Pats and Genos are occassionally on the agenda.
(5)FY2006 scheduled travel events include: January diving trip to Grand Cayman, February trip to Orlando, March trip to Tucson (this year, we’ll be at the new J.W. Marriott Spa on Starr Pass Blvd.), May trip to the U.K., June trip to Portland, July trip to Toronto, September trip to Vancouver. Late summer/autumn travel is typically NYC for long weekends, and possibly some NJ/DE shore destinations.
So, you may ask, what’s expected in exchange:
(1)Short of family emergencies, your schedule and itinerary revolves around mine.
(2)Intelligent, lively conversation on a myriad of ecclectic topics.
(2a) Upbeat attitude about life.
(2b) Sense of adventure; please be as comfortable eating Vietnamese food with your hands as you are visiting the Nixon Presidential Library as a guest of the State Department.
(3)You’ve gotta look very sharp when we’re in public, and be smartly dressed. Arm candy is the descriptor I’d use.
(4)Standard PDAs (subtle touching, hugging, closed mouth kissing, etc.) are implicitly expected. Nothing more, unless you so desire.
(5)Some light clerical work – confirming reservations, arranging floral deliveries following attendance at private events, etc. No heavy lifting is required. If I’m dead tired after a long flight, etc., I may ask you to drive (if local security/limo service isn’t practical).
(6)You must enjoy being spoiled rotten, and put on a pedestal by me and my associates.
(7)You must pretend not to notice that my hair is thinning and that on occassion, my nose whistles when I breath through it.
How did I know who suggested a sugar daddy before reading the entire commentary???????? I’m sitting here trying to decide whether it was a proposition or just an innocent suggestion. Steve, you’d best beware of what you suggest to a woman with high morals, an independent nature, and a strong work ethic, she might take insult.
Rosa-
I don’t know which is sadder; the fact that I’ve become predictable, or that you questioned my epistle being more than facetious. IMO, the “no heavy lifting is required” qualifier pretty much categorizes things.
In all seriousness, it’s good that we’ve reached an implicit understanding early on; I can tell you’re going to be a mother-in-law I genuinely respect on every level.
Now, if I could just get Donna’s attention, in addition to yours…
Cheers,
Steve-0
🙂