Friday night I laid in bed for hours before sleep overtook me. Last night I fell asleep almost immediately. About an hour later I had a night terror. I have been plagued by night terrors most of my life. They strike in times of stress, over-caffeination or utter boredom. More often than not they are insects, monsters, or dark-cloaked figures. I wake up to see them hovering above me or standing before me and a fear like no other grips my soul. When the paralysis wears off, I scream and run. When I finally come to, I am fine and am able to go right back to bed. The fear doesn’t stick with me. However, as I have gotten older I have stopped reacting. I guess after 30 years of frightening images showing up in my bedroom, I have become jaded. The night terror I had last night wasn’t horrific. Actually, it was almost comforting if you can describe a night terror in that way. I saw Jesus on the cross floating above my bed. I gazed up and watched him hover and slowly I began to realize that it wasn’t Jesus but my overhead fan.
I fell back to sleep after Jesus’s visit. At 3:00 I awoke again and stayed awake. I spent the next 4 hours thinking about my old job. I kept hearing my ex-boss say, “Sales Operations has been centralized, your job has been eliminated. I am now passing the phone to Human Resources.” Would it have killed her to say, “I’ve enjoyed working with you and wish you luck?” I guess it doesn’t really matter. It would have been hollow.
I had suspected for some time that my time was limited. When my boss called, I knew I was gone. I was not shocked. What actually did shock me though was my reaction. I had always wondered how I would react and I suspected I might sob like a little girl. Instead, I found myself enveloped in euphoria. A future more bright suddenly opened before me.
My job hadn’t challenged nor fulfilled me in months. I knew I had hit the end of the road. There was no place for me to go in the company. I often asked myself, “What am I doing?” and “Where am I going?” The answer was always, “Nothing.” The thing is, the job was comfy. It was very very very comfy and the thought of leaving something so comfortable despite my boredom was difficult. Besides, this company is all I know. I got a job with them immediately after college and I changed positions every couple years. Not working for them is an absolutely foreign concept to me.
Being laid off is the push I needed. Now I have no choice but to get out there and see what is available and determine what exactly it is I want to do for a living. I know I will land on my feet. They were very generous to me and I have some time to play with before I need to panic.
I just hope I get comfortable enough with being unemployed that this insomnia will go away.
Donna,
When I stopped in testerday and I read, I was really shocked at your “lay off”. However after pondering it for minutes, and realizing almost everyone I know has sufferred the same fate in the past few years…..
I knew you would be ok.
Your silver lining approach is exactly what you need to focus on right now.
Perhaps someone will need a secret agent, or you could be the new Emma Peel, on never knows….
Good luck dear..
1. Glad to hear you are looking at this as an opportunity. Many do not and get themselves down. Keeping a good attitude is EXACTLY what you need to find a GREAT job.
2. Unemployment, go get some, you paid into it, your company paid into it.
3. In your parting from the company you have/had an opportunity to rate your boss. Do so and if need be, send a message to his boss. If you feel that he was a little abrupt, the let him know. Be honest, be upfront, BE DETACHED.
Good luck
-bix
I am sorry to hear this happened to you. Everyone has “bumps” in their lives where unfortunate events that are beyond their control happen to them and this is one of them; part of the measure of a person is how he/she deals with them and you’re dealing with this one just great. Nevertheless, it’s stressful and sleep difficulties are not unexpected. But the people who loved you before still do (and so does Bobo, in case there’s any quibbling about whether he’s a person).
You are only 30 years old. There are many unfulfilled, employed 50 year olds who would LOVE to be unemployed 30 year olds. You have decades of fulfilling work ahead of you. Don’t sweat this
little speed bump.
Now is the time to learn a skill(s) that no one can take away from you. Always have a back-up plan.
Never, EVER, think of your workplace as an extended “family”. The workplace is a family like the Mafia is a “family”. Invest your emotions outside of work, because outside of work
are people who value you for who you are, not for some economic benefit that you provide.
I’m not all all surprised by the rude, cold treatment you received on your last day of work.
That is the morm, not the exception. I’ve seen it
many times.
But don’t think about “fighting back”, if you harbor such sentiments. You will probably need some good job references in the near future. Don’t burn any bridges just yet….do it later, when you are in a stronger position.
Chill out…drink some wine…see a counselor (I did).
“…and I have some time to play with before I need to panic.” Donna, sorry to say it but it is wrong. You do not have time to play however generous your company was moneywise. Play it right away, make a plan for yourself which outlines what you want to achieve with your capabilities and abilities. Don’t think back but forward. I do hope that you find a position (not just a job) that fulfills your dreams and desires. Good luck!
Best of luck in the job hunt.
I spent a year looking for work, in 1998/1999. It’s easy to say, “I know you’ll do fine,” and even mean it, but that doesn’t help much.
Although it is nice.
If I can help in any way, please don’t hesitate to ask. Could you send me a resume? I’m not in your area, but I have some contacts.
Let me second Martin’s advice concerning time. A gap in employment is something that requires an explanation.
Sorry to hear about your company letting your go. Bet you’re sick of hearing people say “It’s for the best” right about now. But it most likely is.
Night terrors? Any rational person knows this is just the mind’s way of dealing with being repeatedly ABDUCTED BY ALIENS for scientific examination! So drop the pretense of having a normal psychiatric response to stress, and come over to the dark side with the rest of us lab rats by admitting you are interesting enough to be worthy of study!
(I am kidding of course. There really isn’t any alien abductions going on)…
Anymore. I have not been taken since 1976, so I guess they must have given up on us.
Cheers!
Boss21xd (soon to be unemployed himself)