I got a call this evening from a Match.com mate. He sounded like Carlton the doorman. In his emails he seemed so funny and vibrant. How can there be such discrepency?

I haven’t been having any luck with match.com. The guy before ole Carlton was not only obese (athletic in his profile), bald* (wearing a baseball cap in his profile pic), but what ultimately helped me make my decision to sever ties- he sounded like Richard Simmons. Perhaps it is just a speech impediment but I just can’t take that chance.

On Saturday, I will meet Carlton in the city. We will have coffee. I will dress up and try to be charming. I may end up liking him. And as we part he will say: I’ll call you! And then he won’t.

How pathetic is it to go to a High School Reunion sans date? If I buy a really cute dress and pull my hair back, I will seem independent and cool, right?

*There is nothing wrong with baldness, I actually like it… However, I do have a problem with concealed baldness. Comb-overs, toupees, baseball hats….