The Taste of Chicago was GREAT! I ate so much! I met Sharon and Sarah at the Buckingham (Bundy) Fountain and we somehow managed to move through the crowd, tasting everything and anything that looked good. We had fried dough (nothing like our grandmother made, sadly), Italian water ice, cheeseburger (like the skit on SNL), chocolate chip cookie dough egg roll, toasted raviolli, Eli’s cheese cake, and more stuff I can’t remember. Little Sarah kept saying, “Cousin Donna, guess what? I can cluck my tongue!” and “Cousin Donna, guess what? I can whistle!”

Maybe you remember how I wrote a few months back about a colleague that I deeply disliked until seeing him in a suit and learning that he spoke a second language? The other day he was supposed to be in a meeting with me. When I found out, I immediately started to smooth my hair and checked to see that my mascara hadn’t run down my face. As it turned out, he wasn’t at the meeting. I felt silly having preened myself for him. In today’s meeting, he unexpectedly walked in and sat down. Upon seeing him, my stomach did a flip flop. I read about a technique in Get Anyone to Do Anything: Never Feel Powerless Again–With Psychological Secrets to Control and Influence Every Situation that I figured I’d put to use. Apparently you can get anyone to fall in love with you by simply gazing directly into their eyes. So I gazed into his eyes and you know what I realized? His eyes are really bulgy. His forehead is huge and when he speaks, he contorts his face as if he is smelling something rancid. I am not sure if the technique worked. What kind of threw me off guard is that he met my gaze and held it. I thought for sure he would quickly look away and maybe even blush or giggle. Of course, it would never work. He lives in Chicago which means he is most likely gay. Besides, it is never a smart idea to dip your nib in the company ink. So basically what I am saying is, “Number One: Disengage!”

Back in Chicago. The plane ride was bouncy. Very very bouncy. Nevertheless, the plane survived and touched down gently. There was a couple sitting next to me on the plane. I found them annoying and wanted to toss them out the window. The female portion of the unit was a wee girl. She wore little denim shorts and spoke in a baby voice. She kept her head buried, face down, in her boyfriend’s lap the entire flight time. I tried to ignore them and so I busied myself reading: Get Anyone to Do Anything: Never Feel Powerless Again–With Psychological Secrets to Control and Influence Every Situation.

I have come to the realization that my love of coffee is predicated on the presence of Cremora. Powdered Cremora. Or any generic brand masquerading as Cremora.

This evening I leave for another week in Chicago. So much to accomplish today. I actually did my expense report this morning. Now all I have to do is wash my stockings and pack. Oh, and straighten my room a bit. And clean my bathroom. Ugh, I need a maid.

Instead of going out last night, Lisa and I went home to have dinner with Mom and Dad and then we came back to the house and watched movies all night. View from the Top with Gwynnie Paltrow and The Italian Job with Mike Caine. I really think that the movie studios should put the people who create the trailer in charge of creating the movie. I remember seeing the preview to View from the Top and it looked like a great movie. It wasn’t. The only thing funny was Gwynnie’s character’s name was Donna so whenever anyone said, “Donna” I would say, “What?” Lisa said it grew old quickly but it kept me entertained through this terrible movie. The Italian Job was much better and I think I might have really enjoyed it had I not seen it with Lisa. She obviously wasn’t enjoying it and so she sat on the sofa and picked the peeling skin off her sunburnt shoulders. I found it quite distracting.

I have so much to do today:
* Clean HOUSE– I was gone all week and there is mail everywhere and unwashed dishes in the sink. Ugh!
* Do Expense Report– I can’t let these go anymore, especially now that I am traveling all the time. Must get my money back ASAP!
* Unpack and Repack– I sure do feel like Sisyphus.
* Shop for some nice shirts that I can wear to the Chicago office.
* Help my father figure out what is wrong with his computer. He bought a new monitor and hooked it up. Everything worked perfectly. Then he inserted the CD that came with it and he loaded the drivers. The computer went to reboot after the driver installation and now it stops right after Verifying DMI Data Pool. When he hooks up a different hard drive, it works. If he attaches another monitor to it using the original hard drive, it doesn’t. Anyone have any ideas?

Home. Just not for long. I will be spending mucho time in Chicago this summer. I was asked to create and manage a new department. Should be fun but time-consuming.

QUIZ TIME!
What was my mom’s response to: “Mom, I’ll be managing 10 people as well as developing processes and building this new department from the ground up.”

a. Wow, your career is really taking off!
b. I am so proud of you!
c. Maybe you’ll meet a nice man!

The truth of the matter is, she is absolutely on the mark. Heck, I just bought a book called “How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You.” Last night in the airport a very nice man started up a converstation with me. He was so cute in a Steve McQueen-way. And I flubbed it up. I said: “It was so nice talking to you Tim.” And instead of then saying, “I hope you have a safe ride home and maybe we will bump into each other again” I turned and walked away!!!!!!! What was I thinking!?! Had I just waited a few seconds he might have had a chance to give me his number or something. Sometimes I just want to kick myself in the head. Why is it that I panic? What is the worst thing that could have happened? Tim could have said: “You looked much cuter in the plane when the lights were dim and now in the brightness of the terminal I would prefer you step away so no one thinks we’re together.” I’ve dealt with much worse.

Not much to write. I’m in Chicago. Working all the time. This evening I ate an Italian Beef sandwich at Portillo’s. It was a little too heavy and now it is just sitting in my stomach. Maybe tomorrow I’ll go to the Ohio House for breakfast, provided I am hungry when I wake up.

All my bags are packed and I am ready to go. Chicago here I come!

My latest Amazon.com order says too much about me:

* Get Anyone to Do Anything: Never Feel Powerless Again–With Psychological Secrets to Control and Influence Every Situation

* How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You

* Conquering Deception

* Winning Through Intimidation

Lisa and I went to the ice cream shop and bought a regular ice cream sheet cake. We had it inscribed: Happy Father’s Day, Daddy. Luck was on my side because my father did not raise hell or give me a hard time. Apparently he wanted a regular ice cream sheet cake. Will wonders never cease?

Now I must iron and pack. Tomorrow I fly to Chicago. I will be there for 4 days. Hopefully all will go well. I am going by myself, the other team members weren’t invited. This is either a good sign or a bad sign. Although, I suspect that if they were going to fire me, they wouldn’t ask me to stay until Thursday. Gosh, I am so paranoid.

I hate ironing. Of course that raises the question, why did I buy so many pairs of linen pants? I am a masochist.