It’s taking so long. I thought I could just up and change my banking institution quickly and easily. It doesn’t work like that. Forms need to be filled, signatures need to be sent, accounts need to be set up, deposits need to be made… it’s taking so much longer than I expected that I am losing my momentum.

I had it in my head that I was going to take my rolled over 401K and invest it myself in Vanguard index funds, just as I learned in the book, The Four Pillars of Investing: Lessons for Building a Winning Portfolio by William J. Bernstein. The thing is, I spoke to a financial planner at Charles Schwab and he told me about their Schwab Managed Portfolios. Basically, after a consultation to understand my goals*, they will select a portfolio full of no load mutual funds for me and then manage and rebalance it as needed. The annual service fee is 0.50% of the portfolio’s value. This is really attractive to me but that may be because I am such a schlub when it comes to money. I would prefer to have someone else manage it and if something happens to it, I can blame them rather than myself. My father keeps telling me I should be aiming for growth and index funds just aren’t going to offer me enough growth. The 401K that the money came from was all mutual funds and I got about a 9% return with it. My fear right now is that the economy is on verge of collapse and I am just going to watch everything go down the toilet- index funds and/or Schwabs managed portfolio. I could split the portfolio in half and do both rather than pick one but is that just a wishy washy coward’s approach? I realize that giving someone else free reign with my money is stupid and Schwab is out to make money for themselves and not me. I gotta make a decision. I just don’t know what to do.

*My goal? Hello? To not lose money! This seems like all those silly interviews with sports people, “What’s your keys to the game?” SCORE MORE POINTS THAN THE OTHER TEAM! DUH!

1. LAUNDRY– At least 3 loads! Towels, Sheets, Blacks
2. Groceries– Use the Quaker Oats Coupon, and get coffee filters, coffee, Silk Milk, Chips, and other healthy items
3. Vacuum– All the rooms
4. Clean up loft– desk is messy, floor is littered with stuff
5. Kitchen– put away dishes and run dishwasher
6. Attempt to write will

Rob asked how my doctor’s appointment went. I told him it wasn’t easy and I was desperately uncomfortable but ultimately I survived. Rob told me I should have approached the situation differently. Instead of allowing the doctor to make me uncomfortable I should have tried to make her uncomfortable.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, for instance, after the breast examination, you could have said, ‘Okay! My turn now!'”
He came up with a couple other ones that only succeeded in making me uncomfortable. I told him although it was an interesting concept, I didn’t think I could do it.

I survived the doctor! Hooray! And it wasn’t so bad. I always blow it way out of proportion.

“You will need to make an appointment.”
“I’d prefer not”
“Miss, you haven’t been to see the doctor since December 2006.”
“See! I was just there!”
“Miss, the doctor can see you on Friday at 9:15.”
“Fine, fine, fine– you win.”

I am going to the doctor. I don’t want to go. Honestly, I am panicking here. I really don’t want to go. It’s not the doctor part that freaks me out– it’s the exposure. I hate being examined, I hate being naked, I hate fearing that I may involuntarily fart or something.

I really need to get ready. OK– I can do it. Thnk good, happy, nice thoughts…. Charles Bronson and ice cream, Charles Bronson and ice cream, Charles Bronson and ice cream.

Okay, I admit it! I’ve been reading craft/design blogs. The pictures are what draw me in. I love the crispness of the images and the bright colors! I’m absolutely taken by the lifestyle these crafty bloggers lead. I can’t help it but I’ve been living vicariously through them. They seem to somehow make a pretty damn good living selling crocheted stuffed animals, clothespin dolls, unstructured fabric purses and embroidered dish towels. I can’t believe there are people out there who can actually justify the purchase of this crap but apparently there are tons and these bloggers are just raking in the dough. How else can you explain how they can spend their days baking and decorating cupcakes or photographing their absolutely gorgeous children/dogs/cats/husbands. Their houses are lovely and somehow I never spy crumbs or empty Yuengling bottles in any of the shots. I just wonder how they do it. I am envious.

I gave a speech this evening. Yeah, it amazes me too that I am asked to talk about stuff– like digital simulation prototype stuff. If anything, I realize it doesn’t take much to be considered an expert. As long as you’re willing to speak in front of a group and can pussyfoot around certain topics (like the details) you’re good to go, Mr/Ms Expert!

This evening I updated Donnaville and Rob’s two Web pages to WordPress 2.5. I was overjoyed that the update didn’t blow out any of the themes. There’s a new feature which allows you to embed a image gallery into a post. I can’t seem to get it to work. The images come in at full size and not as thumbnails. I suppose eventually I’ll find the answer in the support forums.

This evening I’ve been watching Tyler Perry’s House of Payne. I am finding it oddly entertaining. I was really shocked to see the actress Anne-Marie Johnson playing a grandmother. She was one of my favorite characters on one of my favorite 80’s sitcoms. Do you remember Double Trouble? It was on TV around 1984? It starred Peg Bundy’s twin sisters as… twin sisters. Anne-Marie was Allison’s friend at design school who was always giving her advice that started, “Like my Momma ALWAYS say…” Yeah, I think she was supposed to be Caribbean. Looking back now her character seems a little cartoonish. Later she went on to star as Raj’s wife in the What’s Happening sequel, What’s Happening Now? I lost track of her after that series. It’s strange to see her again. I would love to see Jonathan Schmock and James Vallely again– they were also on Double Trouble. They played these zany guys who were always doing zany things with Jean and Allison. Oh my gosh, I can’t believe I have gone on this long about Double Trouble. I worry about myself sometimes.

Remember how I said I had a 100.00 gift certificate at Amazon? And I was trying to figure a way to use it in an extremely frivolous way? I just spent 30.00 of it for Quicken’s Willmaker Plus 2008 Edition: Estate Planning Essentials (Book with CD-ROM). I know, I am so boring and practical. It disgusts me too.

I guess it was last week when I realized that I need to get a will and possibly a living trust set up. I have no plans on exiting early, it just seems that I really should protect my family just in case. The thing is, I realize I should probably consult a lawyer rather than do it on my own using a stupid software package. My problem is the lack of trust I have for lawyers and also that I hate parting with money. We shall see if I can in fact do it on my own. If not, I will consult a lawyer.