Smiles

What do you think of this email sign off?

Smiles,

Donna

I got a business email from a guy using that same close and I gotta say, I was alternately shocked and buoyed by it. It’s just such an odd way of closing an email (especially for a man) and kinda teenagerish (do you think he dots his “i”s with hearts?) yet it really made me smile and I liked it. I have actually been thinking of adopting it! Here’s why: if it causes someone to stop and ponder (like I did), isn’t that a good thing? That means I stayed in someone’s thoughts a little extra bit of time and for a salesperson, that’s a good thing. My only problem is that it’s just so dorky. Do I want to be associated with such a dorky sign-off?

What do you think?

Holy Clutter, Batman

Riddle me this… How come over the last few months I have done nothing but gotten rid of clothes and books and other superflous items in my life YET I AM STILL DELUGED IN CRAP!?!?!? I am trying to clean my bedroom but I am simply overwhelmed by all the stuff. I feel like Sisyphus! I can’t seem to even make a dent. I don’t know what is wrong with me.

Urinals and Urimees

I seem to have completely overestimated the publics’ desire to see images of Micky Dolenz pissing. I am a little red-faced. Regardless, so many people voted for my cousin Carla I have no doubt she will be declared the winner. I will post a couple of different weird pictures in addition to Micky D making pee pee. ‘Cause I know someone out there is curious! …THAT IS IF COUSIN CARLA WINS!

Thank you despite the outcome! I do appreciate you guys helping my cousin Carla. I do. Thank you so very much!

Lime Aide

Have you ever seen this stuff at the grocery store?

This evening right after work, I poured myself a glass of it and I added some Tequila and Triple Sec… TASTES JUST LIKE A MARGARITA!

Just a tip… from me to you.

Paying it forward to me, in a small way

Just wanted to say that there is one more day left to vote for my Cousin Carla’s “Pay It Forward” contest entry. Readers, I have been blogging for almost 10 years and I have never once begged for donations or placed an advertisement on my Web site. I never posted a Wishlist or begged for people to give me things. I AM ASKING YOU TO VOTE FOR MY COUSIN CARLA! She is devastated and I truly believe this will help her. PLEASE VOTE FOR MY COUSIN. And if you did, hugs and kisses to you– you are now part of my very best friends psychic network. Those of you who didn’t vote for Carla, c’mon- it’s so easy and it’ll make me happy. And if she wins, I’ll post a picture of Micky Dolenz* pissing in a urinal. I know you want to see it! AND I HAVE IT ON MY HARD DRIVE. All you have to do is vote for Carla. Prove to me there are more than 5 people who read me each week. And if you’d be so nice to let me know you voted in the comments that would be terrific but if that’s asking too much, that’s fine too. I understand. I do. Thanks ahead of time.

Click on this Web page and enter your information and choose #9 (ENTRY NUMBER NINE, C.K. of Drums). Online voting deadline is June 10 at midnight!

*circa 1968

From concentrate

I awoke at 5:30 feeling oddly refreshed. My night was not peaceful; I had horrible nightmares. I dreamed that Lisa and I were in a concentration camp and we were trying to escape. Right as a man was about to break my leg, I woke up.

Yesterday was Audra’s Baby Shower and thus the end of a very long run of weddings and showers. Two of the guests asked me when I would be getting married. I was very civil to the first person but when the second person asked my reaction wasn’t entirely appropriate. I suppose it’s because every single weekend I’ve been getting that question along with one regarding baby making. I’m just tired of fielding that question with a smile and a “not yet.” For the good of mankind, I am going to assist married people everywhere with some alternate questions to, “Why aren’t you married?” and “Can’t seem to get your man to commit, huh?”

1. Watched anything good on television lately?
2. Do you believe in an interventionist God?
3. How do you spell relief?

There really is no need to thank me. I like helping people.

Plastic Garmin, damned!

Have you seen the Garmin commercial featuring Napoleon? The song playing in the background sounds very similar to Plastic Bertrand’s song, Ca Plane Pour Moi. Check it out:

Plastic Bertrand:

Garmin Commercial:

Is it plagiarism? Is it Plastic Bertrand singing both songs? Maybe it’s a tribute? I don’t know!

The song Ca Plane Pour Moi is itself a rip off of the song, Jet Boy Jet Girl by Elton Motello. I must warn you that the lyrics are very very very very very very dirty.

The Germans probably had no clue what he was singing and that’s the only reason it got television time.

The Damned covered it:

And here’s a German version! Bin wieder frei by Benny. (I think I am in love with Benny) My German sucks but I feel this version is closer to Plastic Bertrand’s version than Elton Motello’s.

Even the Red Hot Chili Peppers got into the act:

Why am I surprised they opted for the French version?

Get pissed, destroy

I got an email last week. The Board of Trustees of Rosemont College approved the Strategic Plan to demolish Rosemont’s traditions and flush Cornelia Connelly’s vision down the toilet. It is a sad day knowing that everything that Rosemont stood for has been abandoned. It was a unanimous vote. That bothers me the most. The argument was convincing, apparently. I don’t buy it. I believe something could have been done to save Rosemont but it should have been started *years* ago. I also believe that these “new” strategies are the same ones that brought Rosemont down to her knees. It’s a shame.

June 2, 2008

Dear Alumni of Rosemont College,

I am pleased to announce that on May 30, the Board of Trustees of Rosemont College approved a Strategic Plan which will emphasize and expand the College’s enrollment, programs, and reputation by embracing co-education, partnerships, and online education.

The approved Plan proposes that the College will open its doors at the undergraduate level to all interested and qualified women and men in the fall of 2009, unifying the College’s three schools and expanding the College’s mission of being a ‘community of learners’. Blah Blah Blah. Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah. Sensitivity to market realities, and commitment to diversity blah. Developing environmental sustainability, and multiculturalism blah blah. Meaningful cross-cultural interaction and understanding. Blah Bah Blah. Stick a for in her, she’s done.

Sincerely,

Ron Remick

Chair, Board of Trustees

Pay It Forward!

My cousin was killed by a drunk driver at the end of April. His daughter has entered a “Pay It Forward” contest in which she is vying for a prize that, if she wins, she will use the prize money to honor her father.

I am asking you all to take a moment and vote for her.

Her entry is #9

All you need to do is go to this Web page and enter your information and choose #9 (ENTRY NUMBER NINE, C.K. of Drums). Online voting deadline is June 10 at midnight!

Here is her entry:
ENTRY NUMBER NINE

C.K. of Drums

I am the new guidance counselor for Jim Thorpe High School. My plan for the Pay it Forward is to start a new student club at Jim Thorpe High School in memory of my father, Joseph Gigliotti. He was killed in a tragic car accident April 24, 2008. The name of the club would be called RAKC (Random Act of Kindness Club). The club would perform various acts of kindness within school and local community with the mission of “changing the world, one act of kindness at a time”. These words recently spoken by a visiting missionary reminded me of my father” no man is too poor to give; no man is too rich to receive”. My father’s wealth was not measured in material riches, but in the way he lived his life and gave to others. He positively impacted the lives of those fortunate enough to have known him. His smile and sense of humor were his greatest strengths and he used them daily to bring joy to others. Many people shared stories with my family about my dad and the ways he helped them. He was a custodian for over 30 years for the HASD and one former student called my father “his friend” stating that my father sat and ate lunch with him daily so he would not have to eat alone. Another man shared, that on the day of his death he and my father fixed a flat tire for someone in front of the McAdoo post office. We received a letter from one women stating her mom was my father’s neighbor and she asked my father to look out for her mom. She said my father checked in on her mother making sure she was ok until her mom passed away. He took care of several aging family member doing errands, taking them to appointments, never asking or expecting something in return. Coworkers from the bank where he was a courier shared that my dad waited for each of them to get into their vehicles each night to make sure they were safe. A crossing guard told us he would often surprise her with hot coffee when she had to be outside in the cold. Simple acts of kindness performed daily by a man who just wanted to make others smile. The RAKC club would be dedicated to his memory and would serve to keep his spirit alive by empowering students to perform random acts of kindness and positively impact the lives of others.

THANK YOU!!!

Stuffed

I just ate lunch. Patronized a chinese food cart that always has a long line of people. I always assumed it must be great food since the line is so long. Today I braved the line. It was just okay.

I really need to get the oil in my car changed. I hope Stockburger will take me tomorrow.

Tomorrow is Lisa’s birthday! My baby sister is an old bag! Just like me! Bwa Ha hahahah!