Last night I had dinner with my parents. I had read a newspaper article on the train ride home that said if you are trying to stave off hunger, simply visualize the last meal you ate. I was rather hungry at that moment so I decided to think back to my last meal. What was lunch? A smoothie. I tried visualizing a smoothie but it didn’t quite work, I was still pretty hungry. Maybe if I thought back to my meal before that one…. a cup of coffee? I thought of the cup of coffee but that didn’t help either. What did I eat the night before? A cup of yogurt. Mmmmm, prune yogurt that had separated. Nope, that didn’t work either. It was at that moment I decided I should go home and let my mom feed me.

I read a NYT article that had the headline, “Many Normal-Weight Teens Feel Fat.” No duh! Truth is, I think most Normal-Weight PEOPLE feel fat. I know I do, regardless of whether I binge, starve, or eat healthy. Just this morning I got on the scale, certain I was 10 pounds over my normal weight- only to find that I was exactly… my normal weight. It’s just so odd. I don’t get it.

I am pooped. I think it’s the working late. Today I will try to catch the regular train coming home. My eyes feel raw, my head feels foggy. All I want is to crawl back to sleep. I had strange dreams of cake, screen doors, shopping and ?????

It’s 6:30 and I am still in my office. Proposals pile up and I gotta write them. Besides, it’s nice to sit here and listen to Chris Isaak. I get to feel productive and I don’t feel terribly exhausted or lonely as I do when I am at the donnavilla.

I stayed late yesterday. I kept my eyes on the clock to make sure I wouldn’t miss my train. At 7:00, I ran down to the platform and I noticed I was quite a bit early so I went to the ticket office and bought a pass for next month. As I was paying, I thought to myself, “I better make sure to put my credit card in the right pocket so when I use it to pay for my parking tonight, it’ll be easy to find.” PAY FOR PARKING! OH MY GOSH! I DROVE TO WORK THIS MORNING!

Is it obvious I need a vacation?

I am sitting here in my office, listening to Chris Issak on Rhapsody, trying desperately to movitvate myself to write the proposals I promised people yesterday. It’s been a crazy couple days. The cocktail reception went well dispite a huge location snafu. Luckily I got everything straightened out and the event went well. I am so happy it’s over. Now I have to start planning the next one. It’s never ending.

Remember how I said I like to close my eyes and think back to my relaxing trip to Mexico? The last two days I’ve been closing my eyes and thinking of Sunday’s sailboat ride. It was really nice. I even got to steer and control the sail for a few minutes. Amazingly I didn’t screw up. In fact, I event got the little boat to speed up! It was so much fun!

Okay, it’s almost 6:00. I gotta get these proposals out. No use sitting on them.

I am just about ready to crawl into bed. Tomorrow is the cocktail reception I sponsor every quarter. I dress up really nice, play hostess to about 50 people, introduce a speaker, and then moderate a question and answer session. It’s stressful but fun. Right now I am trying to figure how I can get into my office by 8am. Usually I spend an hour on Sunday getting everything ready. I didn’t do that today. Instead I went to Audra and Steve’s house for a BBQ and then I went sailing and then I sat at another Steve’s house for an hour and then at 9:00pm I made a dinner of chicken, rice and beans and I finally got to my house at 10:30.

Here’s the plan: Wake up feeling refreshed at 5:30. Shower, dress, pack, and leave house by 6:30. Get Dunkin Donuts coffee and muffin. Get into work by 8am.

yes, that is do-able

I don’t know what is wrong with me but my taste in music has been taking some unusual turns. At one time, it was just music from the 50’s and 60’s and 80’s and nothing else. Suddenly out of nowhere I am LISTENING TO AND LOVING ACE FREHLY! What has happened to me? I never liked KISS. KISS scared me. As a child, I would have horrible nightmares of KISS, Puff the Magic Dragon and dinosaurs with the head of Gary Coleman trying to eat my flesh! You can see why I never even tried to listen to their music.

So here it is– the song I CAN’T STOP LISTENING TO…

It’s okay, you can tell me it’s not that great. I honestly don’t get it myself.

Lisa met me in the city last night. She joined me and a couple of co-workers for drinks. Afterward she and I went to Alma de Cuba for dinner. We both ordered a mojito, very yummy. The first thing brought out was bread that you ripped apart and dipped into a bowl full of mint and melted butter. OH MY GOSH! It was incredible. Then we got lobster/coconut/lemon sorbet ceviche. This was also wonderful. THEN THE EPICUREAN DELIGHT ENDED. Our entrees came out and they were horrific. Burnt, stringy, chewy, fatty, disgusting. I wasn’t sure if that is what they were aiming for or if this was a terrific mistake. Lisa kept saying, “Tom wouldn’t approve! Padma would be appalled!” We paid the bill and left. I am wondering now if I should have complained? I never know how to deal with a situation like that– I am always afraid the server is going to think I am complaining to get a free meal. We walked back to her car holding our stomachs and moaning. I kept saying how I wouldn’t mind puking. Regardless of the horrible ending, I had a great evening with Lisa.

I forgave Dunkin’ Donuts this morning.

I am so happy it’s Friday! Today is my performance review and this time I actually put some soul into writing down my accomplishments. In the years past, I would put down what I figured the company wanted to hear. This time I started a few days in advance and I honestly put some thinking into it. I am pretty happy with myself.

I can’t wait to get this over with!