Wedding is coming up quickly… less than 3 weeks. Lots of shit hitting the fan. Family members cancelling last minute. Forgetting to include other ones. Other stuff I don’t even want to think about.
I guess it’s all normal.
When anyone says anything, I just reply, “Look, I’m pregnant, trying to plan a wedding, trying to sell two houses, trying to buy a new house… all while running and growing a business. Cut me a break.”
Just found out the other day that babies actually require feeding through the night. I honestly thought they ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner like regular people. With that said, I realize I clearly need to take some baby care classes.
What haven’t I blogged about… since I rarely blog anymore… Turned 39. Moved out of the Donnavilla. Living in New Jersey with my fiancee. My fiancee! After having spent decades identifying myself as a singleton/spinster/old maid, the thought of actually getting married is more strange than exciting. I find myself living a domesticated life. I make a healthy dinner for four that does not consist of a pickle, some triscuits and a beer. Sitting down to eat with Eddie and his two daughters, I think, “How the hell did I get here?”
It was less than a year ago that I was dating douche bags and trying to numb the feelings of sadness and loneliness that encompassed me by drinking 3 Buck Chuck and watching the same La Femme Nikita episodes over and over again.
And now I have a baby growing inside of me. And everyone seems to delight in telling me horrible things like:
- You will shit while pushing the baby out.
- A yellow pus-like liquid will come out of your breasts before the milk comes
- Your breasts will get really hard and lumpy and sore from the baby suckling
- The baby will have explosive shits that go up the back and into his hair
- By not circumcising him, you’ll have to clean shit out of his foreskin
- The baby will piss all over you… ALOT
- Uncircumcised penises are prone to major infections and you might as well just cut off his penis and call him Betty.
I have to assume that there are some good things that happen too. Otherwise our race would have died out a long time ago, right?
I remain positive. I have no clue how I am going to do it but I will do it. I think it will be great. And quite honestly, I am ready for it. Shit and all.
You’ll be the 8 billionth female who has given birth. It can’t be that hard 🙂 My aunt, who dropped out of high school, had 4 young’uns
by the time she was 20!
From the “things I never thought I would comment on a blog about” department: One third of the world’s males are circumcised. Deciding either way will not be a ground-breaking decision in the history of mankind. Since you’re in the US where it is an established custom, you might give thought to the implications to his later life and deciding no. Ask your husband what his perspective is on that aspect.
Use common sense and do what you think is right and most everything will work out. And you can deal with the stuff that comes about if you make a wrong decision.
what is name the baby with elvis on the picture
Hi Donna, I was goofing around looking for pictures of me with Elvis when I was a Baby and I see me on your website. I live in Memphis and this picture was taken by the local paper when Elvis was returning home from Germany. I guess you are an Elvis fan. I was about 6 or 7 Months old, my mom took me with her to the airport to see him, the photographer wanted a picture of Elvis holding a baby, so I was the lucky one. I also pulled a button off of his uniform, my mother still has it. Oh well since you have me on your website, I felt compelled to introduce myself. Have a good life,, Terrell
Hi Terrell! Thanks for introducing yourself. I am an Elvis fan and I include a picture of Elvis with most blog posts, mainly because it makes me smile. I found your picture just by doing a Google Image search for Elvis and baby. It’s wonderful to get some history around a photo– thank you!
–Donna