Entirely unproductive. A total waste of a day. I am just simply unable to concentrate or do anything. I feel jaded. I am disappointed in so many people… 3. It’s funny how even with the lowest expectations, some people still fail. I had the most frustrating and infuriating conversation today. My father once told me it’s a mistake to assume people are all the same. People are different from you, they have different experiences and different abilities. This is the reason why what is obvious to me, isn’t obvious to everyone. And why apologizing just doesn’t seem like a good idea to some people.
I am tired. I think my body is still recovering from the vast amounts of alcohol I poured into it yesterday. Yesterday was such an awesome day. I parked my car in the middle of a field and ran through a wooded area to get to the Amphitheater where the Rockabilly band played. I felt so free running amid the trees. I tried to cement the sounds and smells and sights of that moment in my memory. At the concert, I stood and danced while everyone else sat parked in lawn chairs. They played so many amazing songs, how people could stay seated is beyond me. There was a little venom. Some woman walked by me and sneered, “You keep rockin’, girlie.”
“Eat your heart out, mama” I replied.
After the concert, Laura drove me to the casino in her red BMW convertible. It was a beautiful night and I reached my arms up toward the stars and felt the air rush past me. It reminded me of those couple days I spent in Wisconsin back in 1998, driving around in an old convertible that kept stalling out. When we got to the casino, I was turned away because I didn’t have my ID. Yes, I was carded. Apparently I look young… which is pure silliness but I’ll take it as a compliment nonetheless. Honestly, I think the guard was just flexing his power.
Let’s hope tomorrow will be a good, productive day. It may be just as magical as yesterday… just minus the serenading, romantic, and unfortunately married, Buddy Holly impersonator.
Peggy Sue Got Married. (That’s why the impersonator has a ring).
Your remarks remind me of any internal conversation I often have with myself: are people naturally nice, or naturally savages? That philosophical argument has been raging for awhile (re: Rousseau), but after living for a few decades I’d say that MOST people are essentially self-seeking/self-absorbed and are altruistic when it comes to large-scale abstract causes (“Save The Planet!!!!!”) When it comes to one-on-one compassion, however, most people fail. The corporate world in particular is full of sharks and piranhas and disingenuous “mission statements” that claim to cater to the needs of employees.
“I love humanity…it’s just individual people I hate”.
I’m just the opposite. In general, I tend to hate people whereas certain individual I like.
And now I have Easy to Be Hard in my head:
This is what gets me… and in a way it’s what I find so amazing about Hitler and the Third Reich… Isn’t it so much easier to be nice? How hard is it to realize your actions hurt someone whether intentioned or not and just freaking apologize? How hard is it to TRY… just a little bit?
And all these married guys (yes, more than one) who have been hitting on me of late… because clearly just as girls like bad boys, guys seem to just LOVE damaged, wounded women (which is apparently my M.O. of the moment)… is loyalty just a sham?
You married a woman and now you are flirting with someone else… doesn’t that seem WRONG?
I’ve seen Three Dog Night perform live a couple of times….thanks for reminding me of their former greatness. Regarding Hitler: he was just a symptom of a militaristic culture that started long before he became Fuhrer. Go back to the Kaiser, then back to Bismarck. Very militaristic society. They’d still be trying to grab land if the United States hadn’t stopped them.
Now about that loyalty issue — an anecdote:
awhile back I wandered into a watering hole after a hard day at work. I wasn’t looking for anything but a cold one, but I noticed two fetching lasses at the bar. Actually, one of them was drop dead gorgeous (d.d.g.) and as fate would have it, there was an empty stool next to hers into which I installed my butt. Turns out that the d.d.g. was married, but somehow that didn’t stop her from being in a bar without her hubby on a weekday afternoon. After a couple of drinks I got a bit flirtatious (as most men would), and she enjoyed the attention. But I know better than to mess with someone else’s wife (my mama didn’t raise no fool), and so I bid them adieu and went on my merry way. That’s the proper way to handle the situation.
I don’t want anyone named Bubba showing up on my doorstep at 1 am with a .44 magnum in his hand (this being Texas, y’now).