Mean People

Here’s a question…

Looking back at my life, I can’t help but notice that I seem to attract an inordinate amount of aggressive rudeness and insults from people. I got some heaped upon me just today! You’d think I’d get used to it but I am almost always surprised by it. Especially because I try to be nice and I try to make people feel comfortable. I have no clue what it is about me that attracts such abusive behavior.

So after the aggressively rude comment hit me today, and I thought to myself, “Why are people so downright insulting to me?” that I was visited by a brilliant idea… Perhaps it’s not just me! Maybe everyone experiences myriads of cutting insults and aggressive rudeness!?! Maybe it is totally normal and I am being silly thinking it’s just me!

I was so excited by this realization that I called my sister to tell her. And she said, “No, you really do seem to get a much larger dishing of rudeness than most.”

So the question is…. In your life, are most people kind to you or are you besieged by aggressive rudeness from strangers and people you thought were friends or at least acquaintances?

15 thoughts on “Mean People”

  1. B. Davis

    As my brother points out — large gatherings of people
    are a breeding ground for rudeness and craziness.
    Put too many hamsters in a cage and watch them go nutzo (e.g. New York City). Nicer people exist in smaller cities and towns where less pressure exists. No road rage, no roid rage, fewer clothes or cars or bling to compare. Hope these useless comments are helpful.

  2. Donna Post author

    I don’t know if I agree. I think small towns are havens for cocky jerks. Big fish, little pond types. But I don’t know. I just think they are everywhere. They seem to be everywhere.

    I have to just get over it because I have gotten to a point where I am expecting it. And that’s not good.

  3. Adrienne

    Laws of Attraction. Lately your posts have been about people being mean to you or whatnot. Do this…think only of people being good and kind and complimentary towards you and that’s what you will attract. It works.

  4. B. Davis

    FWIW — You are correct — over the past 30 years I’ve noticed that people in general have become less people oriented or more self absorbed, and that’s true in most places. The general pop culture (Howard Stern, antisocial/cynical movies and TV shows, rap music, and all that dreck) has desensitized people. No one really cares about “manners” anymore…what’s the payoff there? (From experience I’ll tell you that the unfriendliest and most boring people live in the midwest….easterners may be sometimes rude, but at least they’re interesting and quirky and outgoing). Are these generalizations too broad?

  6. Kozaburo

    I have come to associate “mean-ness” (e.g. Rudeness) with mean-ness (low class). This does not mean the wealthy are nice – money does not equal class. Short advice: Stay away from Bensalem and NE Philly and spend more time in Center City.

  7. Donna Post author

    Hi Adrienne!

    Yes, you are right. In fact I was wondering about that exact thing… “Can I be attracting it? Am I expecting it? Are people just reacting to the vibration I am sending out? I don’t think I am sending it out… but perhaps I am unconsciously. I am going to work on radiating more positivity!

    –D

  8. Donna Post author

    Kozaburo–

    There is truth to what you say– I was in a business meeting with a woman when a phone call came in that she had to take… it was a customer SCREAMING that it took the normal time to receive her order. My client was calm and tried to make the woman understand that they were within their promised guidelines, etc.. When my client hung up the phone she said, “What is it about the people in Bristol? Everyone in Langhorne and Newtown are so nice but every single client I have in Bristol is rude and constantly angry!”

    BUT with that said, the people who have been rude and aggressively insulting to me all seem to come from a good background and should know better… and in a way that’s what kinda bothers me the most– I know they know better.

  9. Donna Post author

    B.Davis–

    That was a good article, thank you! And FWIW, I found Midwesterners to be a very cold lot. Not very friendly, but perhaps that was just the little group I was exposed to… And I know A LOT of easterners who are boring as all heck (ME for one!). I guess it’s all generalizations, broad generalizations. Not a good thing but it makes me feel good to use it as an excuse.

  10. B. Davis

    You’re not boring… I don’t watch much TV (how many plot lines and genres can be recycled over and over?) For no particular reason, I’ve adopted your blog as a PG rated reality show…you’re Truman, but unlike him, you can actually get in your car and escape šŸ™‚
    Hey, escape sometimes!

    There’s an Onion.com t-shirt that says “Stereotypes Are A Real Timesaver”. Works for me.

  12. Kozaburo

    Poverty is usually the end result of classlessness, as those lacking class often lack the ability to make wise decisions.

    But with endless opportunities for “re-dos” in life, and a finite probability of success even among the rude and classless, the chances of a jump into the land of success are not entirely bad. So there you go with the people who you’d think should “know better”. They might have graduated from a college or a semi-decent MBA program. They might know how to dress properly, drive a decent car or even have a house or condo. But scratch the surface and watch the F-bombs drop.

    I’ve often wondered if there’s a correlation between (1) the frequency with which a person audibly swears in Wal-Mart or gets road rage and (2) the proclivity to have a DUI, commit adultery, etc.

  13. Audra

    I think you’re just sensitive to it. People are rude to me all the time–e.g. the story I just told you on Wed–but I don’t ruminate on it, and I usually just forget about it. There is nothing to be gained by holding on to it for any length of time. Even considering why it is, and if it happens to you more frequently than others is paying it too much attention.

  15. B. Davis

    A recent survey says that Louisiana has the happiest people
    (in spite of hurricanes….or maybe because of them, if you know what I mean). I think there’s undoubtedly an inverse relationship between rudeness and happiness, and that’s why happy people tend to live in Southern states, and in states that didn’t vote for Obama (capitalized below). It should come as no surprise that the unhappiest states ALL voted Democrat.

    Happiest – LOUISIANA, Hawaii, Florida, TENNESSEE, ARIZONA, SOUTH CAROLINA, MISSISSIPPI, MONTANA, ALABAMA, Maine

    Unhappiest – New York, Connecticut, Michigan, Indiana, New Jersey, California, Illinois, Massachusetts, Ohio, Rhode Island, Pennsylvania

    http://pressherald.mainetoday.com/story.php?id=303345&ac=PHnws

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