I am suffering withdrawal! I keep thinking, “I must call Daddy… wait Daddy’s not here, I’ll call Mommy… wait Mommy’s not here either! AHahahaaiaiaiaiaiai!!” Yes, I am 33 years old. I call my parents every day. Numerous times throughout the day. Yes, I know. It’s all becoming clear. This explains my spinsterhood.
I had the oddest dream last night. I keep thinking about it, trying to make sense out of it. The dream felt like a movie. I was watching this large group of people wade out into the ocean. I was aware that there was an alien entity submerged in the water and the people were being compelled by this creature to enter the water. Everyone was anxious for the creature to reveal itself. In an instant, out from the water sprung two very, very tall naked women. Right after emerged two very, very morbidly obese, naked men. More weird, almost freakish creatures, unnaturally larger than normal humans, arose from out of the water. The people embraced them and I had a feeling these strange water nymphs were actually the collective dreams and desires of the group. Suddenly I too was submerged but I realized that the creature orchestrating this was evil and I started to swim away. As I tried to doggie paddle, I was transported to a different situation. The ocean bit was now over and one of the men went home to his wife. Once in his presence, his wife went mad and attacked him. I watched her viciously beat him. She used a walnut cracker to break his fingers. I could feel his pain as his fingers twisted and cracked. This was clearly brought on by the ocean creature and I wondered if all the people faced the same end.
You can keep calling me if you want. 🙂 I’ll tell you to clean your room and eat your peas if it makes you feel better. I had a weird dream last night too. I was in love with Adam Sandler, but his younger brother (who just looked like Adam Sandler circa SNL) was in love with me. Since I was taking a flight to a foreign county in the morning, I had to reveal my feelings to older Adam Sandler, so I sang “All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You” by Heart. I think it was brought on by the fact that Steve rented “Click” and “Chuck and Larry,” and we watched them both.
Audgie– you should know– it isn’t as easy as saying, “Clean your room!” or “Eat your peas!”
With my mother is would be, “You didn’t clean your room, I suppose I will have to clean it now. And I am so tired from working all day, but I’ll do it… it’s okay, I can handle it.”
My father would say, “If you don’t eat your peas, I will cram them into your EAR so shut up, stop crying and EAT THE PEAS!”
🙂
Um, what the heck were you watching on TV yesterday before you went to bed? Usually dreams are a manifestation of random thoughts your brain didn’t make sense of earlier…
Stop going to sex and violence websites and call your folks! lol
I’m in therapy, and my dreams are like oreos and milk compared to what your spinsterish mind feeds you at night. Is there a side to Donna we have not seen yet? Perhaps a side that will be documented in the future on an episode of CSI?
I thought Donna’s dream was quite simple. Don’t give in to your baser temptations and desires, or your wife will use the nutcracker on you in most unpleasant ways.
Oh yeah, also Donna likes to see her some naked fat men!
Gomer– I’ve read through the comments posted twice and I still can’t find the one copping an attitude– what made you so angry?
Ahhh. I see now. You are exactly right. My very humblest John Cleese-dangling-out-the-window apologies. I reread her posts, and this time did NOT see them as a response to mine, but simply a response to your dream. If you read her responses with the idea that she IS responding to me like I orignally did…given what I have posted on my own blog about thoughts of other women, your fascination with my friends obese butt…so on, you might see where I erred. I was suddenly embarrassed that the two of you had shared many laughs at pics of myself and my friends on my blog. Totally nonsensical to me now.
Please forgive…and please accept my apologies. Remove the misdirected hostility from the responses, would you?
The comment has been erased. I am sorry if there was any miscommunication– believe me when I tell you I would never laugh at or make fun of you. Audra’s comment regarding naked fat men is a long running inside joke between us. Back in college, we sat at one of the new computers in the Foreign Language Lab. We were giddy in anticipation. You see these new computers could surf the Internet– in color and with PICTURES! We sat looking at the HOTBOT search engine and Audra asked me, “What should we search for?” I replied, “Hot Naked Fat Men.” Audra, being a good sport, typed in Hot Naked Fat Men and hit enter. We clicked on the very first result that came up. The page read, “You just searched for Hot Naked Fat Men– YOU ARE A PERVERT!” We laughed and laughed and she has never let me live it down.
The miscommunication was all mine. It was too good to be true that someone ELSE was actually following my blog.
If it had been proven correct, I actually would have enjoyed the jab…but I had to call her out first…you know…to make sure.
Love ya spinster! Sorry for the obtrusive invasion.