On the train ride back from work yesterday I overheard a conversation. It was a woman talking on her cell phone.
“I’ll meet you at Papa Judo’s”
“Where?” (I can only assume this is what the other person said)
“Papa Judo’s– that’s the pizzeria on the corner”
“That’s not Papa Judo’s; it’s Papa Guido’s” (Again, I only surmise this portion of the conversation)
“Huh? Papa Guido’s? Oh yeah, right, Papa Guido’s.”

Lisa and I met Audra for Lunch. We went to Bahama Breeze which is right next to the King of Prussia mall. It wasn’t a bad place to go. Kinda reminded me of the old Kahunaville restaurant Lisa and I used to frequent before it closed down. Lisa and I ordered Cuban sandwiches which were just Muffalatas. My drink was a Mango shake– yummy! After lunch we walked to the Best Buy right next to the restaurant. I bought a laptop cooler that was marked 10.00 off because the package had been previously opened. The clerks all assured me that there was nothing wrong with it and so I bought it. STUPID! The fan makes a horrible scraping noise! Shoulda known better. I also bought the first DVD of the Carmen Electra’s Aerobic Striptease Strip Workout series. I’m not too sure why I bought it other than it was cheap and I already have a Salsa exercise video, a Go-Go Robics DVD and a Belly Dance DVD. I guess I figured it would fit in with my exercise collection. After realizing the laptop cooler was a piece of shit, I decided to watch the Aerobic Striptease Strip Workout DVD. I didn’t even attempt a single move. I just sat on the edge of my bed and watched Carmen and her posse gyrate and touch themselves. It was probably 5 minutes into the workout when the strangest thing occurred! I BECAME EXTREMELY THIRSTY FOR A BEER! This need became so unbearable that I actually went to the refrigerator and grabbed a beer from Rob’s secret stash. It didn’t take long for me to realize that there was something terribly wrong with this picture and I stopped the DVD. I finished the beer.

Two DVD’s from Netflix arrived today: Tron and Where the Boys Are. How cool are those movies?!?! Very cool! That’s right!

I heard it raining outside earlier. Instead of taking the train into Philly, I am driving. There’s a couple meetings I have later in the day that I can’t get to by taxi cab. What is nice is my last meeting isn’t too far from Rob’s farm so I will just drive there at the end of my day. I want to wear a skirt but I don’t have any pantyhose. I never have pantyhose. The reason is I am too lazy to wash out my dirty ones. I am also too lazy to go and buy a couple packs but when I do, I use them up immediately putting me back in the same old situation. I have one of those mesh bags where you throw the hose in there and then wash them in the washing machine. I should just do it. For today I am going to wear a pair of socks and boots. This should work fine because the skirt I want to wear is long and no one should notice whether I am wearing pantyhose or striped knee socks.

Last night I went to bed at around 9:30. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I get home and I am exhausted. Absolutely unmotivated to do a darn thing. I thinks I have that Season Affective Disorder. Maybe I should get a pair of those light goggles. Yeah. That’ll do it.

I took off early from work. Today I worked from the NYC office so it was important to leave early so I could get home while the polls were still open. All I can say is I am happy that it’s over no matter who won. I am tired of getting recorded calls from candidates. I am tired of getting harassed by people who want to give me pieces of paper with candidates bios and views. I am tired of election signs polluting every empty stretch of land. Good riddance!

I have off on Friday. I can’t tell you how happy this makes me. Instead of sleeping in and doing not much, I am sure I will be running errands and cleaning and doing all those things I simply don’t have the time or energy for during the week. I really wish I was one of those people who could keep everything nice and organized and neat. Unfortunately, it’s not my nature.

So it turns out Doogie Howser is gay. Or at least the kid who played him is. I haven’t been so shocked since Richard Chamberlain, George Takei, and Tab Hunter came out. I tease. I have never once given Doogie a single thought.

Audra told me I had to check out Weird Al Yankovic’s newest video, White and Nerdy. I am not ashamed to admit that I relate to it. But my question is, WHAT THE HECK IS DONNY OSMOND DOING DANCING IN THE BACKGROUND!?!? Did everyone else see him too or am I halluncinating?
DONNY IS NO NERD! DONNY IS COOL!

Let’s run through and see how well I relate:

First in my class here at MIT – Nope but I was pretty high up there at Rosemont
Got skills, I’m a champion at D&D – Never played it
M.C. Escher, that’s my favorite M.C. – Yeah, my favorite too
Keep your 40, I’ll just have an Earl Grey tea – Bingo!
My rims never spin, to the contrary
You’ll find that they’re quite stationary – Yup
All of my action figures are cherry – I have a couple
Stephen Hawking’s in my library – Actually, he isn’t

My MySpace page is all totally pimped out – It is very pimped
Got people beggin’ for my top eight spaces – not really
Yo, I know pi to a thousand places – I am math phobic
Ain’t got no grills but I still wear braces – Only for a year back in 1990
I order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaise – More of an oil and vinegar gal
I’m a wiz at Minesweeper, I could play for days – I play Spider
Once you’ve see my sweet moves, you’re gonna stay amazed
My fingers movin’ so fast I’ll set the place ablaze – I don’t even have to look down

There’s no killer app I haven’t run (run) – 🙂
At Pascal, well I’m number one (one) – Not at all
Do vector calculus just for fun – Again, math phobic, I blame my father
I ain’t got a gat, but I got a soldering gun (what?) – I’m not that crafty
Happy Days is my favorite theme song – I actually prefer the Mary Tyler Moore theme
I could sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong – nope
I’ll ace any trivia quiz you bring on – BRING IT ON!!!
I’m fluent in JavaScript as well as Klingon – I dated a guy once who used to dress like a Klingon and I remember a few phrases
I been browsin’, inspectin’ X-Men comics – Wonder Woman more like it
You know I collect ’em
The pens in my pocket, I must protect them – Gosh no
My ergonomic keyboard never leaves me bored – I use laptops
Shoppin’ online for deals on some writable media – LOVE IT!
I edit Wikipedia – Never
I memorized Holy Grail really well – Life of Brian was my fave
I can recite it right now and have you R-O-T-F-L-O-L

I got a business doing websites (websites) – I don’t make any money off mine
When my friends need some code, who do they call? – When they need tech support they call me
I do HTML for ’em all – That is pretty true
Even made a homepage for my dog, yo – I DID! For both Lily and Bobo
I got myself a fanny pack – NEVER!
They were havin’ a sale down at The Gap – I am a little too old for the Gap now but I used to love it
Spend my nights with a roll of bubble wrap – Hell yeah!
Pop, pop – hope no one sees me, gettin’ freaky – Good times!

I’m nerdy in the extreme and
Whiter than sour cream – I am olive skinned
I was in AV club and glee club – Foreign Language and Prose club
And even the chess team – nope
Only question I ever thought was hard
Was “Do I like Kirk or do I like Picard?” – KIRK RULES
Spend every weekend at the Renaissance Fair – That’s more Audgie than me
Got my name on my underwear – Yeah, if my name was WONDER WOMAN or SUPER GIRL!

Oh gosh, I am a nerd.

I had a rather nice and relaxing weekend. On Friday, Rob and I met some of his friends at his sister’s restaurant. I have met his friends before at a summer block party but this was my first time meeting their girlfriends. Everyone seemed nice. Although they told filthy jokes. There was only one that made me laugh. What do you call a dog with brass balls and no hind legs? Sparky.

Saturday was spent running errands. In the late afternoon, Rob finally gave in to the sinus infection that had been plaguing him. I fed him sudafed tablets and rubbed his temples. Rob felt better today. He noticed that 50% of my VHS tapes were labeled KUNG FU! I explained to him that they weren’t episodes of the original series but rather Kung Fu: The Legend Continues. He said he liked that series as well and we should watch it. I placed the tape into my VHS player and next thing I know I am echoing the opening monologue: The grandson of Kwai Chang Caine walks out of the past… “But I want to fight.”
“Yes. So did your great-grandfather when he was your age.”
He teaches his son wisdom at a Shaolin temple. An evil force destroyed that temple. Father and son each believed the other had perished. Fifteen years later they were reunited…. Now Caine faced new challenges… And his son grew up.
“Look, I’m not my father. I don’t do kung fu. I’m a cop. That’s who I am. That’s what I do.”
“I am Caine. I will help you.”
The credits faded and the spell broke. I looked at Rob. He was staring at me. I think I scared him.

In the second episode, I noticed Peter was wearing a bomber jacket. I told Rob that he should wear a bomber jacket. If you think about it, a bomber jacket is de rigeur for an action hero. Murdock wore one in the A-Team, Macgyver wore one, Starsky wore one, and there are more which I just can’t think of at the moment. The other wardrobe staple of an action hero is the pairing of a mock turtleneck with a blazer. The more kick ass the action hero, the higher the chance the blazer is leather. Shaft, Charles Bronson, Steve MacQueen, Derek Flint. In the 3 episodes we watched of Kung Fu, Peter didn’t sport any mock turtlenecks but he did wear blazers. Sadly he paired them with what appeared to be tight, acid-washed jeans.

I gotta say that I absolutely loved the Kung Fu episodes. They were just as good as I remembered. Actually, they were horrible. So horrible that they crossed into greatness.

Lastly, Rob wrote a song about that mystery poop we found on his driveway. It’s a catchy song. Here’s a sampling of the lyrics:
What animal can it be
That left a poopie for me
In my yard
Pee-yew!
Yeah, it’s been weeks. We are still talking about it. All I can say is, the poop was really huge and real smelly. It deserved a song.

Oh my goodness gracious! I can’t believe I missed this! Bedazzled posted one of my very favorite scopitones ever! It’s Danyel Gérard’s “Youpi Ya Tamoure.” I first saw it on an episode of Pee-Wee’s Playhouse. It was one of the crazy video clips that he played between the likes of the King of Cartoons and 10 Things You Can Do With Your Mother’s (huge) Underwear. I just loved the girls shaking their hips and the silly sound of Youpi Ya Ya Ya Youpi Ya! It was such a silly video and it stuck in my mind. Many times throughout the years I would find myself thinking of it and wishing I could see it again. Months ago, when I first discovered Bedazzled, I wrote to Spike and asked if he knew of the scopitone. He wrote back with the guy’s name and the video. Every now and then I would google it to see if someone had posted it. This evening, the vision of the girls shaking their hips hit me and I googled it. Lo and behold, Spike posted it back in August. I can’t believe it’s been that long since I visited his site! Ugh, I hate to think of the other treasures I have missed. Regardless, the video is exactly as I remember! Maybe even better! Thanks Spike!

I have eaten too much sugar over the past two days. I don’t know what I was thinking. I am powerless over my sugartooth.