Robert shaved his beard last night. I am sad to see it go. He’s been talking about shaving it for some time now. Last night I said to him, “Go into the bathroom and just shave it off!” And he did. Now his face is as smooth as a baby’s bottom. My ZZ-Top fantasies are shattered.

All I had for breakfast was a granola bar. Now I am ferociously hungry. An hour until lunch. I can survive.