I am back. The date went well except we really didn’t hit it off. He was soooooooooooo boring and all he wanted to do was talk about Freud or Brad Pitt. After our coffee, we went to a used bookstore down the street and I searched for a copy of Witness and he looked for the new U2 CD. I wanted to tell him the likelihood of him finding the new U2 album in a used bookstore was nil, but I held my tongue. We both left empty-handed. In silence, or maybe he was talking and I wasn’t listening, we walked to our cars. We shook hands and said in unison, “Nice meeting you!” and off we drove in separate directions.
donnaville
sugar and spice and everything groovy
Re: your date with the shrink
I’ll never forget something my mom once told me.
She was seeing a counselor to help her overcome
a long-time smoking habit, and she remarked how
peculiar the guy was. She said: “I think you have
to be crazy to put up with crazy people.”
And then there are lawyers.
Q: What do lawyers use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.
What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start!
I just found the most fascinating website in cyberspace. Before accepting more eHarmony
dates, make sure your potential mate is one of these:
http://www.dullmen.com/home.html
And be sure to peruse all the wacky stuff happening this month:
http://www.dullmen.com/february.htm
(I’m getting the feeling that eharmony only accepts males such as these)
Sounds like my dates, except for Freud it’s usually existentialism philosophy and Brad Pitt. Yes, i am also boring.
Q: How many lawyers does it take to stop a bus?
A: Never enough.
Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and and a catfish?
A: One is a slimy, disgusting bottom feeder. The other is a fish.
Q: Why does New Jersey have the most toxic waste dumps is the US and California have the most lawyers?
A: New Jersey got first pick.
A major corporation was interviewing three people for a job. The first was a mathematician. The interviewer asked him “How much is 2 plus 2?” “Exactly 4-2 plus 2 is exactly 4”, he answered. Next they interviewed an engineer. The interviewer asked him “How much is 2 plus 2?” Approximately 4-2 plus 2 is approximately 4″, he answered. Finally they interviewed a lawyer. Once again the interviewer asked the lawyer “How much is 2 plus 2?”. The lawyer got up, looked around outside the office to see if anyone was within earshot, closed the door, returned to his seat, leaned forward and whispered “How much do you want it to be?”
My sister told me a version of the last one a while back; she thought it was really funny because she said it reminded her of how I’m always qualifying everything when I talk, something I wasn’t aware of doing. Even though the habit she was commenting on is pretty innoculous, I found discovering this particular lack of self-awareness to be pretty disquieting; it leads you to wonder what other personality traits you may be exhibiting all the time without being aware that you are doing so.
Years ago I started collecting lawyer jokes in a notebook because I thought some of them, especially the Q & A ones were pretty funny. I don’t know where the notebook is now, wish I could find it.
Pssst….hey Craig,
(leaning forward)
where do you want it to be?
donna,
don’t dis a brutha 4 lookin 4 a u2 cd in a used bookstore when u be lookin 4 a videotape!! its a bookstore!!! not a videostore!!! and future dating tip…it takes 2 to make a conversation…perhaps next time u can enlighten him with something interestin bout germany or foreign films…though more then likely u will see dat dude eyeing da exit…but dat is what dating is 4..it is an effort to start a relationship on both parts…u will find a man when u stop being a human sleeping pill and start listening and trying to fit into their world instead of them always having to fit into yours…peace out!!!!