Monthly Archives: January 2009

Trying to heal myself

I climbed back into bed and laid there perfectly straight. I tried to think healthy thoughts. At around 10:30 I decided it was time and I showered and dressed. Am I feeling better? I think so. I better, I refuse to get sick.

My father sent me a Youtube video of Steve Jobs delivering a commencement speech at Stanford back in 2005. He said to believe in God (although he never said God, he said gut, self, Karma, etc) that there is a purpose to everything, you may not see it at first but looking back it will make sense. He also said you have one life- your life- and you must live it the way you want. Find your passion and take risks. It is especially poignant since Jobs is obviously having some health issues now.

I feel yucky

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t feel quite right. Last night before I went to bed I had a terrific headache. I contemplated taking an advil but then my stomach started feeling funny and I decided I’d better not. I slept okay. I had weird dreams about sitting in a movie theater wearing nothing but a tiny towel. A Russian woman next to me with kids berated my fashion choice and told me I should know better than to flash children. I agreed and ran off to find some clothes. Luckily there was a store right above the theater. Not only did I find a robe but I also found underwear with Japanese Chins printed on them! Erin appeared and told me I had to help her find birthday candles or something terrible would happen. It was easy finding birthday candles and soon after I awoke.

My head hurts, my body aches, and my stomach feels queasy. I DO NOT GET SICK. This should pass within minutes.

The Love Guru ****

Last night I watched The Love Guru starring Austin Powers and it was FANTASTIC! I haven’t laughed that hard in ages! Buyer beware this movie is full of immature potty humor, penis jokes, fart jokes, mops soaked in urine, and other gross-out disgusting filth. I enjoyed it immensely. I am not sure why Mike Meyers didn’t just tweak the storyline to make it an Austin Powers movie. I think it probably would have done better. Plus it could have explained why I kept noticing Dr Evil and Austin Powers mannerisms and vocal inflections slipping through the Guru Pitka character.

Here’s the opening musical number, Guru Pitka singing an Indian-inspired version of Dolly Parton’s song, 9 to 5:

Bow-Tie Lasagna

I get a newsletter from a local Real Estate agent. It’s a real folksy-type of newsletter. There are recipes and house care tips among other items. The last newsletter had a recipe for Bow-Tie Lasagna and it looked really good to me. If I post it here, there is a much better chance I’ll make it.

Bow-Tie Lasagna
4 oz. bow tie pasta
1 cup ricotta cheese
4 oz. soft-style cream cheese
1/2 cup shredded mozzarella cheese
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1/2 tsp. Italian seasoning
3/4 lb. lean ground beef
1 clove garlic minced
15-1/2 oz. jar of spaghetti sauce
Topping
1/2 cup shredded mozzarella
2 T. grated Parmesan cheese

In a large saucepan cook pasta in boiling water for 10-12 minutes or just until tender.

Drain and set aside. In a medium mixing bowl stir together ricotta, cream cheese, mozzarella, Parmesan and Italian seasoning. Set aside.

Preheat wok or large skillet over high heat.

Stir fry ground beef and garlic until meat is brown. Pour off any fat. Stir in spaghetti sauce and cooked noodles.

Spoon cheese and seasoning mix over meat and noodles. Do not stir.

Sprinkle with remaining mozzarella and parmesan.

Cover and cook about 5 minutes or until heated thoroughly.

Makes 4 servings.

Boot Camp

I had quite a weekend! On Saturday I went to Joe and Janet’s house, they were having a party. It’s great socializing with neighbors because you get to hear all the dirt. For instance, I found out that in the unit behind me lived a good looking man who drove a silver BMW. Two months ago, he was so depressed that he couldn’t find a nice girl to love and marry, he took an overdose of sleeping pills and died. I have a feeling there is more to that story.

On Sunday I went to Rosemont College’s Career Boot Camp for Students and Alumnae. It was nice going back to campus and sitting in a classroom but the classes were more geared to students than alumnae who’ve been in the workforce for years. I am sorry but a class on Interview Techniques is wasting my time telling me to wear a suit and make sure my fingernails are clean. I was really looking forward to the Business Empowerment Boot Camp but I gotta tell you I was surprised to find out it was all about direct selling for Avon, Tupperware, Mary Kay, etc.. I am not complaining. The interview class was a good brush up for me and I believe even the direct selling class brought me some good ideas. It’s just not what I was expecting.

After the boot camp, my neighbor Peter invited me to his place for a dinner party. I was the only person there– at least for the first hour. Peter ushered me into his living room and I sat down on his sofa. He clicked a button and the portion of the sofa where I was sitting turned into a lounger– I was suddenly on my back. He clicked another button and the sofa began VIBRATING! I wondered if suddenly the lights were going to dim and a Martin Denny record would start playing. Nope. He smiled and said, “Cool, isn’t it?” and flipped me back up, turned off the vibration and asked if I wanted to play Wii. Eventually his neighbors Trey and Adele arrived and we sat down and had a very nice dinner. I am happy that after 5 years here, it seems like I am finally making friends.

As I was walking back to my place, the man who lives in Violet’s old unit – WHO I NEVER EVER EVER SEE – was standing out in the yard between our properties with a telescope.
“What ya looking at?” I asked.
“The moon, it’s supposed to be closest to earth at this exact moment.”
“Wow! That’s exciting, can I take a peak?”
“No.”
“Oh, okay- have a good evening!”

Not on your face

I’ve gotten a little into Facebook. I check it occasionally, update my status, and see what friends and acquaintances are doing. Today a girl I’ve known since kindergarten added me as a friend. I cannot get myself to accept! We were in the same social circle but she had something against me. I think she thought I stole her best friend in 6th grade– not true, Vickie just liked me more. At any rate, she took her anger out on me. I recall we were in maybe 9th grade and it was the first day of class. I walked into first period and she was sitting there. I scanned the room trying to find a seat, when she announces very loudly, “Donna, I think you are mistaken, you shouldn’t be here, this is Advanced Honors English.” What a biatch! And here’s the thing– you’d think she’d eventually get over it. NO! Years later at our 10-Year High School Reunion, I walked over to the table where all the kids I used to hang out with were sitting. There were two seats left and as luck would have it, Miss Personality was sitting next to the one empty seat. My date and I went to sit down and the girl says, “I’m sorry, but these seats are taken.” NO ONE WAS SITTING THERE. I walked away and found another table but I did notice those two seats stayed vacant the entire evening. AND NOW SHE WANTS TO BE MY FACEBOOK FRIEND! NO WAY JOSE! You suck Debbie! And I always thought your father looked like Gary Heidnik. Go to heck.

gotoheck

Fear, Anxiety, Panic

Yesterday the weather people were forecasting SNOW! Not a little snow– LOTTSA SNOW! SNOW SNOW SNOW! At one time, I would have panicked and ran to the grocery store and bought provisions. Things have changed. I have grown up. I understand that horrible weather translates to great ratings. And great ratings translate into higher advertising dollars. Now when I hear about horrible weather, I take it with a grain of salt. This morning, I awoke to a light dusting of snow. Just as I figured. Although I am slightly angry. Even with a light dusting, I expect the Mexican Snow Posse to be out there shoveling my walk. Especially since my fascist community association has raised our association fees by $50.00/month! I could honestly rent an apartment with what I pay in association fees. So they are getting $50.00 more a month and they STILL don’t send out the Mexican Snow Posse. And wanna bet they only lay down the lightest amount of mulch come Spring? Grrrrrrrrrrrr Listen to me people, if you are considering a condo or townhouse– go Fee Simple. Believe me.