Merry Christmas to all you Byzantine Rite Catholics
Christos Razdajetsja!

I was just layed off and I feel fine.

I feel like Theophilus North! For some unknown reason my body has started to collect negative charges and I am constantly shocking people and things. When I went to get my haircut both times, Aprille complained that my hair was full of static and she couldn’t get it to stay down. Strange.

Last night we went to DeLorenzo’s. My father was on a roll this time. On our way to DeLo’s, a car in front of us put on its left turn signal and then made a right hand turn.
“Donna?”
“Right behind you, Daddy!”
“Oh, I thought it was you driving that car.”
I am a very good driver. I don’t know why he teases me so.

The pizza was fabulous as always. We always get 1 sausage and mushrooms and 1 that is just meatball. This time because there were 4 of us and we ordered small pizzas we also got a red pepper pizza. Dad said the red pepper was for dessert.

As my dad helped Lisa get into the back of his minivan, he said, “Number 1 daughter.” Then as he helped me in, he said, “Number 2 daughter.”
“No Daddy,” I said. “I am Number 1 daughter”
“You are right”
“NO!” shouted Lisa. “I am not Number 2!”
“Why then do you smell like Number 2?” my father replied without missing a beat.
I thought that was funny.

I am beginning to think there is a lot of sodium in the meatball pizza. The last couple weeks I have found that I am unable to sleep through the night and I spend most of the evening craving mass amounts of water. This is only after I eat a meatball pizza. Well, at least I am not retaining water.

Last night I put on my Belly Dancing Party DVD. It’s not really a workout video but more of a how to of belly dancing. Within 5 minutes I could feel my stomach start to burn! In the middle of the first combination, John rang my doorbell. He came to visit with two items in his hand not counting his omnipresent laptop. He had a brown paper sack filled with egg rolls and an Eddie Izzard DVD. We went to the kitchen and I ate two egg rolls and he ate 4! Earlier I had noticed a box of Mango juice sitting in my refrigerator so I decided to make Mango Lassis. Talk about a fantastic meal! Egg rolls and Mango Lassi. It doesn’t get any better than that, my friends. Not at all. And it is so easy to make Mango Lassis. Just get a box of Mango juice and some vanilla yogurt and ice. Blend it all together. Voila! Mango Lassi. We retired to my bedroom where we watched a little of the Belly Dancing DVD and later the Eddie Izzard DVD. I would have preferred Ali G/Borat but I watched Eddie. Stand-up comics have never really been my thing. Still I recall snickering in a few places. What really helped is I thought Eddie Izzard looked like a combination of Mimi from the Drew Carey Show and fat Anna Nicole Smith. If anything, I must know where he gets his lipstick! I estimate his routine lasted at least 5 or 6 hours and his lipstick stayed put until the very end. No bleeding, no fading! I bet it’s Max Factor’s Lipfinity.

I can’t tell you how relieved I am over the Belly Dancing DVD. I got it at TJMaxx just the other day and there were so many to choose from! I grabbed the one that promised I could use the moves on the dance floor or have a belly dancing party at home. I might go back to TJMaxx and see what other DVDs they had since this one is such a winner.

I must never get my hair cut this short ever again. I run my fingers through the back and I feel the shingle and I am instantly turned into Liza Minelli. Just this afternoon I found myself squatting on my office chair, making odd pelvic thrusts, while I quietly sang:

You have to understand the way I am, Mein Herr.
A tiger is a tiger, not a lamb, Mein Herr.
You’ll never turn the vinegar to jam, Mein Herr.
So I do… What I do…
When I’m through… Then I’m through…
And I’m through… Toodle-oo!

Not good. Not at all.

Bye-bye, mein Lieber Herr,
Auf wiedersehen, mein Herr.
Es war sehr gut, mein Herr
Und vorbei.
Du kennst mich wohl, mein Herr,
Ach, lebe wohl, mein Herr.
Du sollst mich nicht mehr sehen,
Mein Herr.

Last night I queued up the Trace Atkins video, Honky Tonky Badonkadonk on Audra’s recommendation. Lisa and I watched it together. The crush Lisa had on Doctor Phil died last night as the image of Trace Atkins filled my laptop screen. My ear is still ringing from the high pitch squeal she emitted upon seeing his image. Luckily I am immune to men like Trace Atkins, you see I prefer my men like I prefer my coffee, in a plastic cup.

I am always happy after I sleep through the night. It rarely happens. I usually wake up parched and have to drink a gallon of water. Then I wake up again to empty it. Sometimes I wake up with a need to check my email. I don’t know why since I rarely get anything that is worth reading at 3am. Oddly, when I sleep through the night, I seem less refreshed than if I crept around the house for a half hour.

Lisa’s making coffee this morning which is very unusal. I also hear her unloading the dishwasher which is also rather unusal of late. I think today is going to be one heck of a fantabulous day. That would be so very nice.

It’s time to go BACK BACK BACK to work, AGAIN!

Actually I am quite looking forward to getting back into the old schedule.

I saw Chronicles of Narnia this afternoon with mom and Lisa. When I first saw the previews for it on TV, I was spellbound and wanted to see it. Recently I read some reviews that made me change my mind. This morning when Lisa asked if I wanted to go, I said, no. “Geez Donna, it’s just two hours out of your day and you would make mom and me so happy if you came.” You can’t argue with that so I painted my eyelids purple and pulled on my black leather jacket and followed them out the door. Movies have really come along way with these newfangled computer-generated special effects. I enjoyed the movie but it didn’t hit me in any profound way. It was just okay. Give me a screwball comedy from the 30’s. Or some 50’s film noir. A Doris Day D.F. or something French or Swedish or Italian. That’s what gets my heart pumping. Still, it was nice spending the afternoon with Lisa and mom. And I really got a kick out of watching the little girl sitting a row ahead of me swoon over the movie. She really liked it.

Just in case anyone missed it on his site, John and I found a funny Easter Egg in Mel Gibson’s Apocalypto trailer. It’s a kooky image of Mel on set. If you want to see it, click here and then fast forward to 1:46. It’s about the second frame. Or just go to John’s blog. He posted a screenshot.

(We didn’t discover it; we read about it on imdb and then found it in the trailer)