Category Archives: My Sweet Dreams

Gangster

Had another odd, vibrant dream. Dreamt I was a male gangster involved in a bank heist. Left my henchman in the dust as I sped away in the getaway car. Felt no guilt or remorse. Went into hiding and disguised myself as a Bettie Page-type, just broader and muscular. I could feel the authorities closing in but I refused to give up. I went out in a blaze of glory.

Sweet & Sour Dreams

I had such a vividly real dream that was totally insane and my alarm clock woke me up right in the middle of it. I dreamt I was on my way to my cousin Chris’s wedding to the woman who is already his wife. The wedding was at a Chinese restaurant and the bride and groom wore matching Pierrot the clown outfits. Lisa and I were in the wedding as bridesmaids and we wore dresses made out of long blue fur. Lisa didn’t want to sit with the other guests and so we found another room full of men wearing tuxedos and top hats. One of the tuxedoed men told me he didn’t feel well and he needed cantaloupe. I found some diced up real fine sitting on a silver tray. There was more to the dream that I can’t quite remember… something to do with a promenade and Lisa embarrassing me.

Michelle and me

My dream last night found me back at the farm. I apparently lived there with the farmer’s wife, Doris. She was teaching me how to create latch hook rugs and I found I had great talent in this arena. Just as I was finishing a huge Cookie Monster rug, Michelle Obama showed up. She asked me to help her out with her style. I told her I would do it as long as she let me stroke her hair. She agreed to this exchange. I told her she should only wear clothes from the Gap and model herself on Jackie O and Abagail Adams. Michelle had no idea who Abagail Adams was and so I gave her a short history lesson. After the mini-class we sat down and looked over this giant book which was a print out of Facebook. Right at this point my memory grows dim and I can’t remember what happened next. I will say that the Michelle Obama of my dream was a very nice lady and she didn’t seem socialist at all.

Poly want a cracker

Before I went to bed last night I read the last couple entries Steve Pavlina posted. I’ve been following him on and off for a couple of years. I think I got hooked when he wrote about how to become an early riser. Pavlina is almost always entertaining and I have often found him motivational. There were certain things that bothered me about him though. My main issue has been his wife and her psychic readings. What phooey! I believe people can be intuitive but the whole psychic reading thing is a silly parlor trick. If he’s writing as a smart person for “smart people” how could he accept it and advertise her services? At any rate, I just laughed at the weird stuff like that and took what I could from the good stuff. Last night he wrote how he will now be entering into a period of polyamory. Can I just say my jaw hit the floor? I kept hearing Katherine Hepburn in the African Queen saying, “Nature, Mr. Allnut, is what we are put in this world to rise above!” My one hope is he continues to deliver some good tidbits and he doesn’t dwell totally on this new found lifestyle choice.

So at any rate, last night I dreamt I decided to enter into a phase of polyamory. I invited a bunch of people to my house so I could further develop my physical and emotional intimacy channels and connect with many people more deeply. What happened was that each person had demands and I found I spent the entire time trying to live up to everyone’s expectations that I simply didn’t have the time to explore any “channel.” I had to clean out an oven of junk and make french fries and ride elevators, I had to feign enthusiasm when I was presented with a roof to a speed boat and I kept having to make excuses to get away from everyone. It was tiring. I awoke feeling overjoyed that it was just a dream.

Dream Weird

I dreamt I was a man driving a tractor trailer through a dark and foreboding landscape. Ahead of me I saw a carriage being drawn by wild boars. The carriage was empty and it positioned itself directly ahead of my tractor trailer. I kept trying to get my truck to the side of the carriage so I could make sure it was empty. The boars led me through the macabre forest safely but right when I was about to reach my destination, my dream shifted. No longer was I in a forest but a suburban neighborhood. I was also veritably myself again. The wild boars were still with me except they were no longer good boars. The boars now had artillery strapped to their torsos and they were wrangling up the people of the neighborhood. They had us stand against a white picket fence. The head boar held a Cosmopolitan magazine and he read out the monthly quiz, “If you answer A, that is two points! If you answer B, that is 3 points!” This was my first time not knowing what the correct, normal answers to the Cosmo quiz questions and I started to whimper and fear for my safety. I awoke.

Strange Dreams

I had very vivid dreams last night. I dreamt my body was covered in blonde silky hair and Lisa entered the donnavilla into a home makeover show. Some man came in and painted the loft yellow and red and drew fake windows in pencil all over the walls. I was overwhelmed by how frightfully ugly it was. Ron Paul was also in my dream. He was about to give a speech and I said I couldn’t wait to hear him orate and he told me I pronounced orate wrong. He then went into a boxing ring to do some damage to some poor soul. Teeth went flying but I don’t recall the ending.

Psychic Doodle Dandy

Remember how I wrote the other night I dreamt about cake, screen doors, and shopping? I later realized that it wasn’t a screen door at all. I actually dreamt about the screen that sits on the back of my hair dryer. Except it was HUGE! But just like my hair dryer, it was also caked in lint. I tried to peel the lint off but it was difficult. I kept trying to think how I could move it so I could get a better grip. NOW HERE’S THE WEIRD PART! This morning as I finished drying my hair, I slammed the hair dryer down on the sink, a little too hard, AND THE SCREEN POPPED OFF! It’s removeable! I never knew! What an odd coincidence! Sometimes I think I am psychic! 😉

Speaking of psychics, anyone listen to Oprah and Friends on XM? Anyone? Anyone? Does anyone listen to Nate Berkus’s show? Anyone? Anyone? Did you catch the show in which he gets a “reading” from James Van Praggh? It was the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! And it actually seemed like Nate Berkus was eating it up which made it even funnier. James Van Praggh was like, “So Nate, your (dead) partner, he liked belts? Yes? I say this because I see him standing before me, holding a belt. He also liked boots, didn’t he?”
How insane is this? I keep thinking, if I was a spirit that found a medium who could communicate for me, I WOULD NOT BE HOLDING UP A BELT AND A PAIR OF BOOTS! NO MATTER HOW MUCH I LOVED FASHION! This is just odd. I don’t get it. I don’t get how anyone could fall for such crap. My favorite part of the reading was all the mistakes he made.
“Nate, who is John?”
“I don’t know anyone named John!”
“You will.”
CRAP. CRAP. How dare this man capitalize on people’s grief.

Dunkalicious

This morning I awoke at 6am. I stayed in bed until 6:45. I somehow was able to leave my house a little after 7. I had dreams of the guys from the movie, Superbad wanting to make a prequel to the movie Swingers. I also dreamt I ran into my old college friend Shawn and she asked if she could live with me because she was pregnant and had no where else to go. I took her in to my very odd looking house which seemed to be decorated with the stage sets Erin and I designed and painted back in 10th grade for our school’s production of the Music Man.

Last night I watched the movie, Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus. I loved it, of course. I love all movies that contain dwarves. And wolfmen. And giants. And armless women. These are my people! There was also a TON of nudity! But not the type of nudity you may expect. This was regular-looking people nudity. There were a lot of floppy body parts shown. This is the type of nudity I saw when I visited the nude beach on the Island of Ruegen in the Baltic Sea oh so many years ago. (It really is a shame the short shelf life of Germans)

The next movie on my Netflix queue is a movie recommended by Nathan called, Lars and the Real Girl. I am very much looking forward to seeing it. I am hoping there may be a break in all this nudity that the last few movies I watched contained. Not that I don’t appreciate the human form unclothed, I just think my eyes need a break.

(I got the most wonderfully tasty cup of coffee from Dunkin’ Donuts this morning.)

Dreamy Comic, two thumbs up

I dreamt I was in the midst of a photo shoot for the movie poster of a Western movie. There were all these really dirty and mean looking cowboys glaring into the camera lens with one exception. The cowboy in the middle was the Unknown Comic from the Gong Show. What I quite liked is he had drawn a grimace onto the bag so he looked a more angry than normal. I then dreamed Roeper from Ebert and Roeper confided in me that he would soon be replacing Ebert with a young, afro-ed Michael Jackson.

Boxing Helena

I had the strangest dream last night. I dreamt, as I slept, my arm somehow broke in two right below the elbow. My arm, or at least what was left of it felt fine and there was no blood. When it was time to awake in my dream, I grabbed my arm and stuck it back on and it stayed. I wiggled my fingers and although looking slightly green, it functioned fine.