Category Archives: Mr Right

How times change

Yesterday we gathered together, friends and family, to do pysanky. Last year pysanky was interrupted. Cousin David and his family were on their way over when my dad died. It’s just one month shy of a full year. I don’t know how that’s possible. I still can feel the heaviness in the air in those days after my dad’s death. There was an otherworldly quality that lingered. I remember sitting out on the deck with Lisa and mom, feeling the air crinkling around me. Friends would visit and sit with us and we just sat there, in a state of shock and numbness.

Fast forward to now and my dad is gone but the family comes and we sit around the kitchen table with our styluses, wax, dyes and eggs. We talk about how it’s not the end result but the process of creating the egg. Cracked eggs teach us the ephemeral, temporal quality of life. And I think, yeah, Daddy’s not here anymore.

Pysanky

And in the midst of it is so much joy. Seeing the kids. Watching them get bigger. Introducing the E-Man to my family. Experiencing normalcy. At the end of the night, I hugged E and said, “Thank you for being so kind and sweet and friendly and talkative and normal!”

“How else would I be?” he replied.

If he only knew what I endured with PB.

But it’s over and I need to stop comparing him… it’s hard when everyone says, “It’s so nice to see you with someone so kind and sweet!”

Dad would be happy. If here were here.

I can’t imagine what it’s going to be like as spring appears… spring was always my dad’s favorite time of year. He loved the blooming trees and flowers.

11 months of unadulterated change.

VDay

I have spent most of my life single and Valentine’s Day was always a day that I experienced as a voyeur. I would watch from the shadows as girls got flowers and chocolates. I always imagined that one day I might be the recipient of such fantastic bounty. And yet somehow, it never really happened.

Even in a relationship, Valentine’s Day was something I was denied. Gosh, I still remember that Valentine’s Day 2 years ago (or was it 3?) that I cooked a big meal and gave PB a cute gift, only to be told that he bought me NOTHING. NOTHING! The funny part is I really didn’t want much. I would have been happy with one carnation or a single peppermint patty. Even with such extremely low expectations, I was left disappointed. Over and over again. Yes, I have all my limbs and control over my bodily functions… how dare I be upset over something so silly and insignificant as Valentine’s Day? Well I was. Why couldn’t I be the girl that was desired and treasured and loved and adored?

At any rate, everything changed yesterday. The E-Man, without any prodding, pushing, or begging, gave me the most lovely Valentine’s Day EVER! Flowers? Yes! Box of Chocolates? Yes, 2! And my favorite kind! Dinner? YES! In front of the fire! With duraflame logs that shot out colored flames!

It was wonderful. It was more than I ever wanted or dreamed. I felt like the luckiest girl in the whole wide world.

Factory Reset

Menu > Settings > SD & Phone Storage > Factory Data Reset

I reset my HTC Evo 3D. I even wiped the SD card. So far it seems better. It’s responsive, finally. Fingers crossed it keeps behaving.

This afternoon, a client said to me that I reminded her of her cousin. We are both tall with similar voices, she said.

“What does she do?”

“She’s an aerialist”

“An aerialist?”

“She’s in the circus… she flies around on a trapeze.”

Ok.

I had quite a day yesterday. Christmas Brunch at Erin’s. I got to see Cathy and RJ’s honeymoon pictures. Looking at them frolicking in Australia, I couldn’t help but marvel at how things change. I remember when RJ announced his engagement to Cathy on Facebook. It was on Christmas day last year. At that time, I was waiting for PB to propose to me. He had promised to propose on New Year’s Eve. Of course, it didn’t quite happen that way. I remember feeling so destroyed when New Year’s Eve rolled around and nothing happened. I think it was the next day that I told PB I was finished with him and that he should pack his bags and leave. Instead of leaving he finally produced the long anticipated ring. It was too late. I remember my gut told me to run. I didn’t run but nor did I say yes. I kept thinking he would re-propose the right way. He didn’t. He did eventually take the cheap ring back. Couple months later, my father died and my eyes finally opened and courage returned. I ended the 5 year relationship by not returning his 3 phone calls. Yep.

Looking at Cathy and RJ and seeing how happy they are, I kept thinking how lucky I am. I could have married PB and then I’d be divorced by now. I stayed in that relationship for so long because I feared being alone and single and back in the dating pool. I am so much happier now. Life is so much better. Why was I so scared to be on my own? Why did I put up with so much crap for so long?

I brought Big E with me to Erin’s brunch. On our drive to her house, he didn’t throw any tantrums and while we were there, he was friendly and talkative. Imagine that! It was stress-free and totally enjoyable. My life has changed.

After brunch, we went to Asbury Park. We sat on a bench on the boardwalk and watched the moon hover above the ocean, leaving a trail of light across the waves. Once we were sufficiently frozen, we entered the Pinball museum and played Skeeball and other games for a half hour. Instead of going straight home, we went to Shady Brook Farm and drove through their Holiday Light Show.

180 degrees. And with the exception of my father not being here, I am happy with the changes.

Alive, really

Yeah, I am still around. Thanksgiving was oddly nice. I was so worried. Aunt Helen invited us to her house. Surrounded by family, everything went well. Yes, I spent most of the time thinking of my dad and deep frying turkey and Thanksgivings past but it wasn’t awful or gut wrenching.

Hopefully we will spend Christmas in Chicago with Sharon and her family. Finger’s crossed it’ll happen.

In other news, I went to the Philadelphia Winter Beer Festival on Saturday. Apparently beerfests happen ALL YEAR ROUND! I brought Big E with me… I think that’s how I will refer to him. Big E. Although I realized he’s not 6’7 as previously reported. I think he’s 6’4 or 6’5. He does have the longest, most loveliest, silky blond hair and mutton-chop sideburns I’ve ever seen. Lisa approves of him so all is well. I think it’s perfectly okay to report these facts since Big E does not own a computer or an email address. I find his lack of technology extremely attractive.

As soon as Big E left my side, the girls descended upon me! “Donna! How old is he?”
“18”
“He is not 18! What is his age?!?!”
“He’s 34”
“He looks so much younger.”
“Wait, younger than 34 or younger than ME!?!”
“Oh, yeah, 34. Yeah. 34.”

I am feeling pretty happy right now. Despite the fact that I apparently look like I am dating a kid. 🙂

Conversation with Li

“Did you hear the news? Mordecai died. But Princess Bubblegum is okay.”

“Where did you get the names Mordecai and Princess Bubblegum?”

“The kids came up with them”

“Your kids came up with Mordecai for a pet frog? I find that hard to believe”

“Really, they did! The names are from some tv show.”

“What show?”

“I can’t remember. They wanted to name Mordecai Michael Jackson but I was like, no fucking way, kids!

“I went out with Don yesterday.”

“Where did you go?”

“We went out with a bunch of people from the conference.”

“How was it?”

“Odd, we were sitting next to each other but we weren’t doing anything to clue people in that we’ve gone out a couple times, yet the guy sitting across from us asked if we were a couple!”

“That’s because Don was peeing on you.”

“WHAT!?!”

“Men have a way of laying claim to a woman… he was marking his territory, probably with his eyes.”

“Here’s the weird part, just this morning I was talking to one of the guys from back when PB and I were doing all that Ron Paul stuff and I mentioned that PB and I aren’t together anymore and he said that he never realized PB and I were a couple. Isn’t that weird?”

“That bastard never pissed on you.”

“But Don pissed right on me in the restaurant, huh?”

“IT’S A HYPOTHETICAL PEE, DONNA!”


This image was snapped earlier this year. Apparently someone wrote my name in snow outside my front door.

Fell off the face of the earth

Gosh… it’s been weeks since I last updated. I’ve been busy. Insanely busy.

I went to a Micky Dolenz concert the other day. Went to an Oktoberfest yesterday.

Match.com is not impressing me. It’s not killing me either, though. So far all the men have been damaged. My hope is a normal man will emerge. I am wondering the likelihood of that happening. It just keeps becoming more and more clear that the men that are single and over 35 are single for a reason.

Here’s a recent Match.com text exchange:

Unknown Caller: This donna from match? 3:53 PM
Me: Yep… who is this? 3:58 PM
Unknown Caller: The smaller but cute and nice email guy…John 3:59 PM
Me: Cool! that was fast, I just responded to your email a second ago 4:00 PM
John Match.com: Sorry for being interested 4:00 PM
Me: I hope you meant that light-heartedly which is how my text was intended 4:01 PM
John Match.com: U were knocking me for texting u so soon 4:02 PM
Me: I don’t know how you got that impression– all I said was “that was fast” Most guys take DAYS to respond 4:03 PM
John Match.com: Ur intimidating u really r..u will be single forever with that bad attitude 4:04 PM
Me: ok 4:05 PM
Ken Match.com: What a bitch..lol..dont ever contact me again alice the goon 4:06 PM
Me: Good luck in your search, John. I mean that in a nice way. 4:07 PM
John Match.com: Ur evil.. I blocked u from my search…ur the worst i ever spoke to 4:10 PM

It scares me he has my phone number but I think he’s probably the type that gets off insulting people over a great distance. I am probably safe.

St. Louis Here I Come!

I leave for St. Louis tomorrow. It’s a same day, in and out trip. I am alternately excited and scared.

Yesterday, my concentration returned at around 5pm and I worked until 10. I seem to do better at night. Sometimes.

I spent time today working on my vision board. I made a collage in Picassa and pinned it to the board. You see, the other day someone asked me, “What kind of man do you see yourself with?” and I didn’t have much of an answer. I realized that I needed to get clearer on what I want and really start visualizing him. For some weird reason, I just SEE myself as single. Even when I was with PB I saw myself as a single person. When I was with him, I often felt alone… I wonder if that’s why I was so comfortable with him? Okay, let’s not get too deep here. So there’s clearly an issue and I need to fix it. Yes, it is awesome that I am a self-contained individual but I need to start seeing myself WITH SOMEONE. So I created a collage out of pictures of couples that move me… Natascha & Rudy, Mulder & Scully, Hugh & Andie, Paula & Richard, George & Audrey, Lynda & Lyle, John & Carolyn, Nick & Nora, Ava & Dirk… and I pinned it to my vision board and hopefully it will help me start moving in that direction.

Does anyone want to guess at the last names of the couples?

The Match Game

I woke up this morning after a night filled of odd dreams… none featuring nudity. I dreamed Audra decided to get married to Steve again and she threw a HUGE wedding. I kept finding myself outside the festivities doing other things like swinging from a rope over a lake, saving a prostitute from evil pimps, and trying to break into a party at an Old Navy store. I knew Audra was angry that I wasn’t at her wedding and I felt extremely guilty but I truly felt there were outside forces keeping me from her gala celebration.

Upon waking up I decided to join Match.com rather than Catholic Match. Why? Well, it seems to me if a person is going to join Catholic Match, they are doing so because they want someone who is at the very least not a heathen and somewhat practicing. Plus, throw in my own crazy prerequisites and I can’t help but wonder the odds of finding someone non-religious, tall, and Libertarian on Catholic Match? Not too likely. Match.com seems a better place for me.

I found a discount code this morning and applied it. I committed to twenty bucks a month for 3 months. My very first search found 0 men. I still feel positive. Heck, what’s $60? I have nothing to lose. Anything is better than what eHarmony was providing me. It’s time to move on.

If you get right down to it, yes I want a serious relationship but I would also be happy with finding someone with whom I can hang out and go places and talk and laugh and listen to music and watch movies and cook for and eat with and be with and confide in and trust and and and … I guess that’s a serious relationship, right?

I’m not going to love blog… this is just an update as to where I am when it comes to online dating.

eHarmony Stats:
151 current matches
243 matches archived by me
75 matches closed by me or them
7 matches in communication stage

Kiss in the dark

Watched The Loveless on Friday night. Queued it up on NetFlix Streaming. I enjoyed it. Of course, I enjoy films with a languid pace. It was directed by a woman which seemed right since the camera seemed to linger on the guys in black leather a bit longer than it did on any of the girls. Robert Gordon was in it but he didn’t have any song and dance scenes which was a shame. I had hoped there might be a scene where he would start singing and a bunch of bikini clad babes would come out, shimmying.

Yesterday was jam packed. Went to KUSTOMS, CRUISERS, and CLASSICS at the Simeone Car Museum. Finally got to see The Sharkskins perform and they were great. My mojo is still working. When the Speedwells played, a guy came over to me and gave me their CD as a gift, “Something to remember me by.”

In the evening, we went to the Philadelphia Swing Dance Society’s Swing Party and took Jitterbug and Lindy lessons. It amazes me that men go to these lessons on their own and then refuse to pay attention to the instructor. “Hand on shoulder blade” doesn’t mean hand on lower back or ass, fellas!

This morning I went on eHarmony and closed all matches that didn’t interest me. I closed every man that was shorter than 5’10 or worked in government, lacked a photo, or lacked a decent photo. What is it with these guys anyway? Is it so hard to post a picture of yourself where you look like a normal, well-adjusted human being?

And what is it with eHarmony? Why do they keep matching me with men 5’5 – 5’9? Are tall men in short supply? They must realize that not only am I not interested in being a towering inferno, these little mini men are not interested in me! I emailed eHarmony this morning asking them to stop wasting my time. I look forward to their reply.