So I got married on Saturday. And just as I thought, I feel exactly the same as when I was single. Molecules inside me didn’t immediately realign and cause a huge cataclysmic shift in my essence where I suddenly began feeling married and smug. (Perhaps that comes later)
Truthfully, I had already committed to Eddie months before. I began feeling tethered, secure, and fulfilled long before we said, “I do.” I didn’t need a ceremony to make that mental shift. But I now realize that the marriage ceremony isn’t really the commitment– it’s just the celebration of the commitment in front of family and friends.
As we were going through the process of planning and organizing the wedding, I started to get the feeling that it was a silly exercise that was taking up too much time and energy. But now with it behind me, I can say that I am really happy we had a ceremony and reception. It was absolutely worth it and I enjoyed and loved every second of it.
The really nice part of the whole wedding extravaganza is realizing you aren’t alone. There are people who care. Looking out over all the attendees, I felt loved and cared about… it was nice.
We honeymooned in Cape May for four days. I spent most of the time just looking at Eddie and thinking to myself, “You are married– this is your husband!” Somehow it still seems almost surreal to me. I have a feeling everything is rather surreal when you are pregnant– I mean, I look down and watch my stomach move, shake, and quiver. I see the outline of a foot or hand push up and move right across my belly. How weird is that?