I’ve been doing this for years… making resolutions at the beginning of the year and reviewing them at the end. So here it goes… The official review of my 2015 resolutions.
1. Create Experiences. Have Adventures. Make Memories.
I really want to say SUCCESS! But it feels a little bit more like a fail to me. I spent 2015 pregnant and working my ass off. Jimmy was in that crazy stage where taking him out was just an adventure in itself. Heck, just yesterday Lisa and I attempted to take the boys to the Aquarium. As we approached the Aquarium, Jimmy let loose a torrent of vomit. We spent the next 15 minutes in the parking lot of a CVS (in beautiful downtown Camden) scraping throw up from every crevice. This is probably the fourth time the vomit volcano has erupted in the car.
With that said, we did do some fun things. We went to Johnson’s Corner Farm a bunch of times. We went down the shore a couple times.
The best memory we had was Jed’s birth. I stopped trying to be a Wonder Woman and I opted for an epidural. Unlike Jimmy’s birth which was truly a nightmare, Jed’s was absolutely lovely. The only expletive that escaped my lips was when the nurse weighed him and announced, “10 pounds even!”
2. Stretch and Move
This one had a few successes. Through the spring and summer months, Eddie and I walked Jimmy around the neighborhood in his little push around plastic car. Then once Jed arrived, I walked the two of them around the neighborhood a couple times in our double stroller. It didn’t last long because mornings became painful to me because of the sleepless nights. Jimmy’s naptime stretched into the time we’d walk.
I should be able to find time to just get on the floor and stretch… but I didn’t.
3. Drink only on weekends.
FAIL. I really need to find another way to unwind.
4. Read books, Ditch Facebook
Partial Success. I still spend more time than I would prefer on Facebook but I did read a bunch of books– more books than I read in the past 10 years combined. This is a resolution that I need to keep focussed on. I didn’t magically become a great reader but I do feel like I made progress.
5. Think like Walter Bond
Partial Success. I don’t think achieving a winner’s mindset is something that you set out to do and easily achieve in a one stop type of way. I believe I made some good progress but I am not where I need to be.
So?2015 was another great year. I lived the life I always wanted. Business owner, wife, mother. Even though my resolutions aren’t all resounding successes, I am happy. I hope 2016 is just a wonderful!
And so it turns out, I didn’t need to wait 12 whole days. On August 15th we had family and friends over to celebrate my youngest stepdaughter’s 14th birthday. I recall making sure that I didn’t overeat and yet I recall feeling very full, very stuffed, and very uncomfortable.
As we got ready for bed that evening, Eddie told me I had resting bitch face all evening.
We fell asleep and at 1:30, I woke up soaking wet. My water had broke. Eddie and I raced to the hospital. It was the next day at 3:30ish that little Jed popped out. He weighed 10 full pounds and had a head full of soft, jet black hair.
Jimmy is slowly growing used to Jed. He’s a little jealous that Jed is taking my attention but he hasn’t acted out.
Jed is getting better looking each and every day. He’s already lost that prehistoric baby bird look that all newborns seem to have. He’s not sleeping all that great but I suspect we’ll eventually fall into some sort of routine that will work for us.
Although I am totally not into astrology or horoscopes, I am beyond happy that little Jed is a Leo and not a Virgo like me. As much as I know it’s hogwash, I exhibit all the crazy Virgo traits and I wouldn’t wish them on anyone. All the people I have ever met that were born under the sign Leo, always seemed so friendly and confident. So regardless of silliness, I am happy that he too may be extroverted and high in self-esteem. I am also slightly pleased that he was born on the anniversary of Elvis’s death.
My second son is due to arrive in 12 days.
It’s almost hard to believe. And yet it’s not. I am sooooo pregnant and am ready to pop. I can’t wait for my body to stop this incessant aching. I am ready to gain back my mobility.
In some ways, I simply can’t imagine what it will be like to have another child. I am trying to visualize it but the concept is so foreign to me that I am coming up with nothing. Truthfully, I am scared. Jimmy was such a handful. Those first 3 months were so difficult. To go through it again? I keep telling myself I survived the first go around and I will survive the second time. Plus, people do this all the time. Heck, people did this without disposable diapers and wipes and baby food in jars and air conditioning and heating. I have no right in the world to be scared or stressed.
I can do this.
Strangely enough, the actual birthing process isn’t scaring me at all. Even after the ordeal I went through with Jimmy. Eddie keeps talking about the epidural and I’m just like, “yeah, whatever.”
What has me panicked is the late night feedings. The lack of sleep. But most of all, it’s balancing Jimmy AND Jed. It was one thing to just have to worry about Jimmy– now I have two little boys to handle.
I can do this.
Twelve days I’ll be doing this and it’ll be fine.
36.3 weeks of pregnancy
8.4 months of pregnancy
253.9 days of pregnancy
6094 hours of pregnancy
365650 minutes of pregnancy
But who’s counting?
My body aches. This kid’s foot seems permanently wedged under my lowest right rib. I struggle to sleep at night. I struggle to wake up in the morning.
I am tired.
And when the baby arrives, it doesn’t get any easier. Constant breastfeeding. Sleepless nights. Crying, wailing, screaming.
I am looking forward to it!
I will miss what I have with Jimmy– this one on one. But I look forward to expanding our family and giving Jimmy a brother.
Please please please let everything be okay. Healthy baby. Healthy me. I only have 25 days left to go!
It was a couple weeks ago we visited family in Wildwood. Uncle Kevin’s wife’s brother’s wife was also visiting and was in the midst of training for a triathlon. The one day she said that she would be biking 100 miles.
“That must take a couple days to complete.” I thought.
Well she woke up the next morning and biked the 100 miles. She was back before noon. Once home, she grabbed a bottle of gatorade and headed out the door to run 5 miles.
This totally blew my mind. BLEW MY MIND!
The thought of biking 100 miles… and doing it within a few hours and then taking off and RUNNING 5 miles?!?
It made me think, what else am I underestimating? What else am I convinced is impossible, but isn’t? What am I closed to? What other limiting beliefs do I hold?
Ultimately it comes to mindset– am I abundance-minded or scarcity-minded?
I know I am clinging to limiting thoughts that are keeping me back… but how do I identify them and change?
I have often said to my husband, “I don’t know where they find the time to train for these fitness competitions… it’s not even their fitness level that impresses me as much as they have the time to train! Me? I work my ass off all the time and if I’m not doing that, I’m caring for Jimmy and life. I can barely find the time to shower much less find time to run 25 miles.” Of course, I’m beginning to realize it doesn’t take two days to run 25 miles as I assumed.
Replaying this conversation in my head, I sound like stupid Archie Bunker. Here’s the thing, it’s not about fitness competitions or the time it takes to train. Am I simply convinced that I need to work as much as I do? Is it more in my head than in true workload? Am I choosing to be overly busy? Truthfully, I really do feel as if I take my eye away from the ball my empire will crash to the ground around me.
I don’t know. I feel there is something here… a wall that needs to come down in my brain. A wall that is keeping me from pushing ahead and accomplishing more.
I do have some good news… I am pregnant with another son. Yup. My due date is August 25th. I often find myself just wondering how the heck I got here. Never in a million years did I think I would ever get married or have kids.
This video pretty much sums of how I’ve felt the last 4 years:
Married life is awesome. Business is good. Just found out I was quoted in the London Times last week. Funny how things like that can get past you. We hired a nanny to take care of Jimmy. This lets me work but still be there for him. I think we’ve decided on the baby’s name: Joseph Edward. And rather than call him Joe, we’ll call him Jed. My parents’ neighbor’s son had a pug dog named Ted and my dad thought Ted was just the greatest name. Jed is really close to Ted so I figure my dad would approve.
Gosh, this personal blogging thing feels weird to me– I am really rusty! Was there truly a time when I put it all out there? Yeah, there was.
Well, that’s it for now. Perhaps I’ll pop in again. Hopefully with good news about Jed.
It’s wonderful to be in a good place. For years I struggled and for years I lived a life that wasn’t anything close to what I wanted to be living. Finally, I am where I always wanted to be. And it’s scary because there’s this lurking feeling that everything could just go away. As wonderful as life is, it feels tethered to me by a very thin thread.
And now I cast my thoughts ahead to the new year before me. What do I want to be? What do I want to do? What do I want to accomplish?
It was 2 years ago, I went through my past resolutions and found to my utter amazement that for the last decade all my resolutions were pretty much the same. I wonder if it was that realization that helped me take control and steer my life onto course? Perhaps. Maybe I was just ready for it.
The last few weeks I’ve been thinking about resolutions for 2015. This is what I came up with:
1. Create Experiences. Have Adventures. Make Memories.
I look back to when I was a little girl and it was the crazy adventures that stick out and make me smile. My father was always taking us on wild goose chases. We didn’t just go out for pizza, we dedicated ourselves to finding the best pizza. It wasn’t just a vacation to Nashville, we went searching for Dolly Parton. And that Christmas I asked for snow? My dad got us in the car and we drove north until we hit snow. I want to create those crazy experiences for Jimmy, Emily and Meghan. I want to be able to forget work, forget business, and have fun as a family. I want to create memories. And it’s not about traveling to exotic locations. We don’t have to go far. We just need to get out and do something different.
2. Stretch and Move
I’m 40. I can’t believe it either. My body doesn’t feel superhuman anymore. I am constantly tired. And I recently purchased the Note 4 and it comes with a pedometer built in… and apparently according to this pedometer, I might as well be an invalid. I simply don’t move enough.
I can’t go to the gym. There’s simply not enough time in the day. The one thing I can do is stretch and take walks. In the morning, get on the floor and stretch out. At noon, go for a quick walk. After dinner, take a walk. It’s possible. I can do it.
3. Drink only on weekends.
I was never a drinker. I could go weeks without having an alcoholic beverage. It didn’t call me. But then my dad died and I found myself alone and I sought solace in episodes of La Femme Nikita and bottles of 3 Buck Chuck. I wasn’t a drunk and I rarely got drunk but I drank for comfort and relaxation and I realize now it wasn’t healthy. Even after life got better for me, I continued to drink a glass of red wine at night. But it wasn’t just a glass. It was a couple glasses. I married an Irishmen and together we finish a bottle of wine a night. I am tired of it. It’s added calories I don’t need. It gets me tired before I really should be tired. It makes me feel swollen. I am done with it. I am not saying I will never drink again but I would like to have days pass by where I don’t drink a thing. I also don’t want our girls to think that drinking is normal and something that all adults do.
I have decided to cut back on my drinking. No more wine or beer during the week and only in moderation on the weekends.
4. Read books, Ditch Facebook
I made this resolution last year but didn’t keep it. Perhaps this year I will do better. I want to read books. I want to stop endlessly scrolling down the newsfeed on Facebook, getting nothing in return for my time and energy. I want to read books about successful people, awesome business concepts, new ways of thinking about the world, personal development, etc… I want to know that at the end of the day, I am a little smarter than I was the day before.
Jeden Tag ein bisschen besser
5. Think like Walter Bond
I feel like I have one more resolution inside of me. It’s somewhat nebulous. Two years ago I saw Walter Bond speak. It was a moving experience.
Here are just a few of his soundbites I recorded:
- All ‘buts’ stink
- Get bigger stronger faster. Commit to change. And believe! Change your clients’ perspective.
- To be successful… Carve out a niche! And own it! What is your niche? Do you own it?
- Research people! Find inside connections. Make people feel important.
- Always look like success! Always look like money! People place value on you.
- Do you brighten up a room when you enter. .. or when you leave?
- Do people like you? LIKEABILITY is the biggest secret! It’s not your content, it’s your smile
- Stop selling products, start selling hopes and dreams!
- Want to make more money? Change your friends. Your salary is the average of your 5 closest friends
- Making money is easy!
- To be successful in business, turn off the news!
Ever since I heard him speak, his words ring in my ears and I am trying to commit the concepts into my daily life. It’s not nearly as easy as one would suspect. But I am trying and I suppose that’s what this resolution is about– to stop trying and just do it already.
And that it’s for 2015…. 5 resolutions for change. I can do it.
I don’t write much these days; it’s hard being wife, mom, stepmom, business owner, and lazy person. With the new year upon us, it’s time to revisit my past New Year’s resolutions— and it’s one thing I won’t put off.
How I did
1. Stop investing so much time into Facebook. Instead, read more books.
FAILURE. I continue to invest entirely too much time into Facebook. It’s lost time because I get very little useful information from it. I liken my usage of Facebook to video games or playing solitaire. It’s a way to pass time in an unproductive manner.
I wanted to replace my Facebook addiction with reading. I purchased a slew of e-books but I didn’t click a single one open. FAILURE. I think the reason I failed is Facebook is so easy to dive in. It requires so very little brainpower. And because I do have friends there, I feel a warm and fuzzy connection when I use it.
2. Get this new house livable OR find a new house to buy
SUCCESS! It was right around the last new year when I realized the house we were living in was never going to work for us and the only thing to do was sell it and buy a new one. I remember Eddie had some friends over and his youngest daughter had a friend over and with the house teeming with an extra 3 people, I found that the only place I could go was our bedroom with little Jimmy.
Sitting there because there was simply no other place for me, I became determined to find a new home. I opened up Trulia and found a listing for a house in the development across from where we were living. The next day we went to the Open House and fell in love with it. The house had everything we wanted: 4 bedrooms, 2 baths, an office, and a basement (with a bar!). The only thing we needed to do was sell my condo.
The very next day I called my Realtor with the intention of firing her. Just as I was about to say, “Lynne, you have failed me for the last time..” she said, “Donna I found a cash buyer for your property!” Lynne still failed me because it was a low ball offer that I was pretty much forced to accept but at least I got rid of it. Lynne was a double agent and collected a huge commission for basically doing nothing and then she came after me to pay her an additional 125.00 for some stilly document printing fee. Unbelievable, right?
So anyway, we put an offer on the new house and by April it was ours and we moved in in May. We replaced the carpets and painted. We love living here. There’s room for all of us.
3. In terms of work, I want to spend as much time with Jimmy as possible.
SUCCESS! I wasn’t quite sure what was going to happen after I gave birth. I own a business and have always been the one driving the ship. Luckily, one of my vendors stepped up and kept the ship moving forward as I took a 4 month maternity leave.
Around March I began working again. My mom said she would watch Jimmy. At first it didn’t quite work because my mom couldn’t understand that arriving at my house at 11 and leaving at 3 wasn’t putting in a full day. Eventually I realized that I could work at her house which allowed me to set the schedule. As I work in my dad’s old office, my mom is downstairs with Jimmy. When Jimmy wants to see me, he just drags his g-ma up the stairs. And when I want to see him, I venture down.
It works out really well although I realize that this can’t go on forever and I am going to have to relieve my mom. She’s getting old and I know this is hard on her. I will have to find a babysitter or a daycare facility soon.
4. Get back to my old size.
PARTIAL FAILURE. When I made the resolution to get back to my old size, I was about 40 lbs heavier than my old size. I took 20 lbs off pretty easily. Even though I have another 20 lbs to go, I really doubt I can get back to my old size.
I am beginning to realize that wasn’t a natural or healthy weight. I maintained that weight because all I ate was triscuits, pickles, cottage cheese, and wine. Being a wife and mom, I cook dinner almost every night and I partake in real food.
I believe I can probably get down 10lbs which will get me close to my old weight and into my old wardrobe but without the starvation. The thing is, I don’t think I will be able to hit that goal for at least a year.
And so….?It was a good year. Hell, it was a GREAT year! 2014 was the year I lived the life I always wanted to live. It was the life that eluded me for years. Wife, mother, business owner. The good news is, it was everything I had hoped and believed it would be. I love being a wife. I love being a mother. I look forward to 2015.
Holy crap, I’m 40!