12 Days

My second son is due to arrive in 12 days.

TWELVE DAYS!

It’s almost hard to believe. And yet it’s not. I am sooooo pregnant and am ready to pop. I can’t wait for my body to stop this incessant aching. I am ready to gain back my mobility.

In some ways, I simply can’t imagine what it will be like to have another child. I am trying to visualize it but the concept is so foreign to me that I am coming up with nothing. Truthfully, I am scared. Jimmy was such a handful. Those first 3 months were so difficult. To go through it again? I keep telling myself I survived the first go around and I will survive the second time. Plus, people do this all the time. Heck, people did this without disposable diapers and wipes and baby food in jars and air conditioning and heating. I have no right in the world to be scared or stressed.

I can do this.

Strangely enough, the actual birthing process isn’t scaring me at all. Even after the ordeal I went through with Jimmy. Eddie keeps talking about the epidural and I’m just like, “yeah, whatever.”

What has me panicked is the late night feedings. The lack of sleep. But most of all, it’s balancing Jimmy AND Jed. It was one thing to just have to worry about Jimmy– now I have two little boys to handle.

I can do this.

Twelve days I’ll be doing this and it’ll be fine.

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