Factory Reset

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I reset my HTC Evo 3D. I even wiped the SD card. So far it seems better. It’s responsive, finally. Fingers crossed it keeps behaving.

This afternoon, a client said to me that I reminded her of her cousin. We are both tall with similar voices, she said.

“What does she do?”

“She’s an aerialist”

“An aerialist?”

“She’s in the circus… she flies around on a trapeze.”

Ok.

I had quite a day yesterday. Christmas Brunch at Erin’s. I got to see Cathy and RJ’s honeymoon pictures. Looking at them frolicking in Australia, I couldn’t help but marvel at how things change. I remember when RJ announced his engagement to Cathy on Facebook. It was on Christmas day last year. At that time, I was waiting for PB to propose to me. He had promised to propose on New Year’s Eve. Of course, it didn’t quite happen that way. I remember feeling so destroyed when New Year’s Eve rolled around and nothing happened. I think it was the next day that I told PB I was finished with him and that he should pack his bags and leave. Instead of leaving he finally produced the long anticipated ring. It was too late. I remember my gut told me to run. I didn’t run but nor did I say yes. I kept thinking he would re-propose the right way. He didn’t. He did eventually take the cheap ring back. Couple months later, my father died and my eyes finally opened and courage returned. I ended the 5 year relationship by not returning his 3 phone calls. Yep.

Looking at Cathy and RJ and seeing how happy they are, I kept thinking how lucky I am. I could have married PB and then I’d be divorced by now. I stayed in that relationship for so long because I feared being alone and single and back in the dating pool. I am so much happier now. Life is so much better. Why was I so scared to be on my own? Why did I put up with so much crap for so long?

I brought Big E with me to Erin’s brunch. On our drive to her house, he didn’t throw any tantrums and while we were there, he was friendly and talkative. Imagine that! It was stress-free and totally enjoyable. My life has changed.

After brunch, we went to Asbury Park. We sat on a bench on the boardwalk and watched the moon hover above the ocean, leaving a trail of light across the waves. Once we were sufficiently frozen, we entered the Pinball museum and played Skeeball and other games for a half hour. Instead of going straight home, we went to Shady Brook Farm and drove through their Holiday Light Show.

180 degrees. And with the exception of my father not being here, I am happy with the changes.

5 thoughts on “Factory Reset

  1. Kozaburo

    Quite a personal post! I think you did the right thing by not responding to your ex’s proposal. This post has a great lesson for lots of girls and women who I’m sure would otherwise just take the ring and spend the rest of their lives regretting how it all played out…

  2. Donna Post author

    I wrote this post many times over the last 9 months. I always deleted it because it came from a place of anger.

    Writing about resetting my phone and thinking how I reset my life and being happy with the changes… it seemed to be the right time to put it out there. Even if it’s just for me.

    Hopefully the lesson someone might take away isn’t to just keep accepting out of fear. I regret having stayed so long. I regret keeping my eye on the “proposal” and not really looking at the relationship and saying, “I’m not happy, this isn’t healthy, I really need to get out.”

    Of course now, it’s over. And over not because of the crappy proposal. But it’s over and I feel like I finally have moved on.

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