Yesterday was 36 weeks. Baby Jimmie is to arrive December 7th. I think he’s coming sooner though… mainly because he’s a busy baby. He’s constantly on the move and I don’t think he likes being cooped up in the womb.
Someone recently asked what we were thinking about in terms of his college fund. I replied, “We’re not saving for his college. Instead we will be funding his first start up.”
As much as I can’t wait for baby Jimmie to arrive, I also have no idea what to expect. With him inside of me, my life continues in a familiar, normal manner. It’s the physical component of having a giant belly that tires me out and impedes my movement that’s different. Once he arrives, my body should pretty much return to normal but my life will drastically change.
My mom said that I shouldn’t worry about it– yes, I will be really tired and overwhelmed for about 3-4 months but babies grow and eventually they sleep through the night. And he will become my new normal. Just like life re-normalized after my dad died.
One of Eddie’s friends dropped by this weekend for a visit and he mentioned to me that he was the youngest of 11 kids. ELEVEN KIDS! Although I have had a pretty easy pregnancy, I can’t imagine going through this 11 times. Insane!
Countdown to the new normal…
Log this one kiddies. Today was the first time pregnancy kicked my ass. Last night I was a panelist at some Social Media and nonprofit event. Eddie drove me to the event because as he said, “At 34 weeks, I am not comfortable having you going it alone.”
Afterward we went to XIX Nineteen Restaurant atop the 19th floor of the Hyatt at The Bellevue. It was truly lovely. Last weekend we were in NYC (back for my quarterly appearance on SiriusXM business show) and we had lunch at Wolfgang Puck’s Steakhouse. Nineteen was a thousand times better. But that’s not really pertinent to my story.
So anyway, we got back home and went to sleep. I woke up every hour on the hour to pee. You’d think I’d run out of fluids… but nope. Eddie wanted to get into work early and so I tried to rouse him when morning finally arrived to get him going but it was useless since I could barely get myself moving. Once he was out of the house, I fell back in bed and stayed there for a longer period of time than I can remember. I don’t sleep in. Well, not until today. I finally crawled out of bed and I am trying to get myself moving but it’s slow going. I suppose it’s okay to have a day like this as long as it’s not typical. Yet I feel guilty. Why do I think Marissa Mayer never had bad days during her pregnancy?
The later I get in my pregnancy the harder it is to sleep. I can’t even remember when I last slept through the night. I think the difficulty sleeping is my body’s way of preparing me for many sleepless nights when Jimmie arrives.
Otherwise everything else is going great. Last night, for the first time, I introduced Eddie as my husband. It felt pretty awesome. I am enjoying being married… although I never doubted otherwise. The only worry I had was that we both take it seriously and commit for the long haul. But those fears have been allayed. In fact, sitting at Wolfgang Puck’s restaurant last weekend, a woman was seated at the table next to us. Toward the end of our meal she introduced herself as a divorce court judge from Chicago and that she enjoyed being in our company because she truly believed that we were a wonderful couple. She said she’s very good at spotting what works because everyday she sees what doesn’t. That made me feel really good.
So I got married on Saturday. And just as I thought, I feel exactly the same as when I was single. Molecules inside me didn’t immediately realign and cause a huge cataclysmic shift in my essence where I suddenly began feeling married and smug. (Perhaps that comes later)
Truthfully, I had already committed to Eddie months before. I began feeling tethered, secure, and fulfilled long before we said, “I do.” I didn’t need a ceremony to make that mental shift. But I now realize that the marriage ceremony isn’t really the commitment– it’s just the celebration of the commitment in front of family and friends.
As we were going through the process of planning and organizing the wedding, I started to get the feeling that it was a silly exercise that was taking up too much time and energy. But now with it behind me, I can say that I am really happy we had a ceremony and reception. It was absolutely worth it and I enjoyed and loved every second of it.
The really nice part of the whole wedding extravaganza is realizing you aren’t alone. There are people who care. Looking out over all the attendees, I felt loved and cared about… it was nice.
We honeymooned in Cape May for four days. I spent most of the time just looking at Eddie and thinking to myself, “You are married– this is your husband!” Somehow it still seems almost surreal to me. I have a feeling everything is rather surreal when you are pregnant– I mean, I look down and watch my stomach move, shake, and quiver. I see the outline of a foot or hand push up and move right across my belly. How weird is that?
Check out this excerpt from a post I wrote back in 2004:
The cause I would take as my platform if I was suddenly crowned Miss America or somehow found myself First Lady is ending the systematic genital mutilation of newborn males. If I ever marry and multiply, there is no way on this green earth I will let any doctor touch my son’s Zauberstuecke. Of course, I have no interest in having sons, I would much prefer daughters. Hopefully, in 30 years when I am ready for children, it will be possible to choose their sex.
Clearly this is something I’ve felt passionately about for YEARS. I am holding on strong that I won’t have to submit Jimmie to systematic genital mutilation.
We shall see.
I have submitted to so much over the last few months.
- I never wanted a blood diamond– but I am wearing one on my finger now.
- Never wanted to wear a white wedding gown– yet somehow my gown is white.
- Never ever thought I’d get married with a huge baby bump, I mean, c’mon… how tacky! Yet, I am getting married 7 months pregnant.
- Never thought I’d be living in NJ with their exorbitant property tax… and here I sit soon to change my residence and support the beast.
- Never thought I’d live with a man unless I was married to him.. and yes, I know that the wedding is just 8 days away but still…
- AND I am living in a house that isn’t mine… not being in control, that’s against my core principles.
The funny part is, I don’t mind any of it. Except the potential genital mutilation of my son’s Zauberstuecke.
The Rivers Rockabilly Trio will be performing at my wedding. Stu asked me what song would I like them to play during the recessional. I replied, “I Knew the Bride When She Used to Rock n Roll”
Well, I think it’s a hoot. Not sure if everyone else will agree.